You wrote it absolutely right... I think that's the underlying reason for all the frustration XD, you can't really blame anyone, because that's their way of living and there's nothing you can do to see it differently. For them it's right exactly as it is - for us it's a reason to run around screaming *lol* But I think in the end Harry found his way and he's going to be a brilliant father, because he definitely knows how to NOT do it.
And for liking the story better than you thought... I gave you full points and this should speak for itself *g*