As someone who works in healthcare, and has a husband who is a psych nurse, I often see the 'other' side of elder care, what some have termed the 'throw-aways'. It's not pretty and is infinitely sad. Fortunately, there are less of them than one would think, and because there are very few places one can go when when one's old here, many elderly are living at home with families struggling to take care of them. What you say about the goal as caring 'about' their elders rather than 'for' them is so very true, as are your thoughts about family involvement. I have the greatest admiration for anyone who steps up to teh plate to care for (or about) an elderly loved one, for the alternate is almost too horrible to contemplate.
For myself, your comment about the awareness of decline is closer to the truth than is comfortable at times. I think that awareness is the one thing I resent about aging the most, and relatively speaking, I'm still fairly young. I *know* I used to know more, but what that more might be is beyond my ken, and so I mourn a loss I can't even remember.
(And the washing machine was my favourite.)
Take care and thank you! Your comments have given me much to think about.