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Tweak says, "Hogwarts Class of '77!"
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tsujton (
tsujton
) wrote in
snarry_games
,
An original story, to be sure!
I will say that the type-o's were distracting, as was this frequent type of error:
=======
"You!" The man smiled.
=======
It was Harry saying "You!" but by having 'The man smiled' after it on the same line, it makes it seem as though 'The man' had said "You!"
You have a great story here, but I think it could be made easier to follow with a bit of editing.
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