Oh, that poem is just gorgeous. It IS perfect. Maybe use of Neruda is cliche--but it's cliche for a reason and boy, you sure had reason enough here! I think your choice of title is just perfect.
explaining how a character feels is OMG LAZY
omg YES! I never really thought of it as lazy per se before, but it really strikes me as, I don't know, obvious or a little awkward or clumsy...as for readers who prefer knowing rather than guessing, well--there's a lot to be said for ambiguity, eh? :D Though, of course, a little ambiguity goes a long way--but if there's time enough it's not all that difficult to whittle away a good amount of ambiguity with certain details, a few clarifying phrases here and there...certainly no problem for you, you master of subtleties! ♥