The version on my LJ is without the annoying typos! I apologize for that. Keeping the sense of movement and having Snape be physically moribund WAS an issue. I dealt with part of it by having the other person in the conversation move quite a bit so that it didn't seem like the scene was static, and then I really tried to make the dialogue as amusing, intense, moving, funny, etc. as possible so that the reader felt that the story was moving forward, even though it doesn't move well. Some people felt that the beginning was very slow, and I admit to that, but I wanted the reader to get a sense of who Snape is in this story. Then when he interacts with Minerva and Harry and Draco, he seems true.
Anyway, this is about forgiveness and paying debts. This is the one really big reason why I found DH so dissatifying because I thought that certain characters needed to be forgiven and their sacrifices acknowledged. I'm not a big dumbledore fan, but I do think that this assessment of him is pretty spot on. And I've written several Snapes, but this is possibly my best Snape, and I mean that in the sense that I really do admire him here. He is a magnificent character. Thanks for your lovely feedback.