Thank you so much for reading--I really appreciate your comment! I completely understand your view--and I'm happy that Severus came across as loving. Because in my mind (and in what I intended to convey), he does love Harry as truly as he can. And yeah, I agree that he wouldn't be the same if he hurt Harry with this, in any lasting sense. He's quite good at the self-loathing thing, when he feels it's deserved, I think...
I guess I could also see why some readers wish Harry had found out, in that it satisfies the desire to see justice be done--Snape should reap what he sows, what comes around goes around, etc etc. I'm also inclined to think that justice tends to be an artificial thing (except maybe when it's the poetic kind) though, so I feel it's fair (and, I hope, realistic) to write a scenario where Snape doesn't appear to experience any repurcussions for what could easily perceived as a lapse in proper behavior.