This was wonderful - I'm so glad you're on my team!
And I was so happy to see you use a Scorpion. I've been fascinated with them for over thirty years, ever since moving to South Texas and getting stung by one my first year here.
Sounds weird, but we never had scorpions in Illinois and I was scared I was going to die or something! Once I got over my initial fear, I was able to see they are actually beatiful creatures. This story just made me love them all that much more.
You got Snape's inner voice so perfectly. I made an MP3 file of this (with a screen reader program) so I could listen to it while I walked, and I think it was even better that way, getting to actually 'hear' his dialoge.
And Harry - thank you for not making him a clueless idiot. It was nice to have him call Snape out on things at the end.