snarrymod (![[info]](https://www.insanejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small} snarrymod) wrote in ![[info]](https://www.insanejournal.com/img/community.gif){kind=small} snarry_games,@ 2007-05-09 21:40:00 |
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Original poster: snarrymod
Title: Hermione’s Diversion (or, How Harry Potter was Kicked Out of the Closet)
Author: rons_pigwidgeon
Team: Postwar
Genre(s): Humour & Romance
Prompt: Diversion
Rating: PG13
Warnings: Drag mouse over space if you wish to know: * also mentions Harry/Kingsley. *
Word Count: 7,000 +/-
Disclaimer: The only thing that belongs to me is the discussion of the thestral’s secretion. The rest was created and is owned by J. K. Rowling
Summary: Hermione discovers a different side of Harry at a dance and determines to change his life by the end of the summer, even if it kills her.
After nearly eight years of difficult, exhausting work, they had finally defeated Lord Voldemort, and it was finally time to relax and settle into the rest of their lives. Ron had begun work as a clerk in the Auror department, though he wasn’t an Auror himself and didn’t plan to be. Harry had purchased a large plot of land just outside Hogsmeade and set up a wildlife reserve. At the moment, he was caring for the herd of Hogwarts thestrals that had been displaced during a battle, when nearly half the Forbidden Forest had been burned down. He lived a quiet life on the reserve, and could only be seen when coaxed out for parties and the occasional Sunday brunch, but from what Hermione could tell, he seemed happy enough. Hermione herself was scheduled to attend university in the fall and was making preparations to move to the only wizarding university in Britain, Merlin College, Oxford, but for the time being, she was simply enjoying her time off between the war and the beginning of the rest of her life.
Most of that time had been spent at parties and balls honouring everything and everyone from Harry himself to Neville Longbottom, and the one they were currently attending had been a particularly good one until it began to fizzle out about half an hour before.
At that moment, the music was mellow and slow and the crowd had thinned to only a dozen couples out on the floor. Ron had been pressured into dancing with Professor McGonagall, and so Hermione was spending her small break watching Harry and Ginny. Ginny had been so happy when Harry had agreed to continue their relationship after Voldemort’s defeat, but something felt off and Hermione was determined to discover what exactly it was. They looked happy enough together, holding each other close with Ginny’s head on his shoulder, but there was still… something. Hermione had first started noticing it a few days earlier when they’d all met for lunch at the Leaky Cauldron. Harry looked ─ not quite unhappy, but not completely besotted as he had been before their original break up either. Watching him now, she saw an absent look in his eyes, as though he weren’t really there with Ginny at all. He was, of course, there physically, holding her close and gently swaying back and forth, but his eyes were off in the distance, staring into space.
She scanned the general area that his gaze was pointed towards before looking back and him, and then it hit her. He wasn’t staring vacantly into space; he was staring at a someone in particular. Kingsley Shacklebolt, or more specifically, he was staring at Kingsley’s arse.
Hermione gasped, squinted to make certain that she was seeing what she believed she was seeing, and blinked. Harry Potter, her very straight best friend, was staring at another man’s arse. And from the way he unconsciously licked his lips, he was rather enjoying the view as well. Hermione didn’t know what to make of this. This was the first indication that Harry had ever given that he was interested in his own sex. Why had he never said anything before? For Merlin’s sake, why was he still with Ginny? Why had he agreed to continue their relationship in the first place? Perhaps he wasn’t aware that he was staring at men’s arses appreciatively. She looked over at Kingsley again and had to admit that it would be difficult for anyone to deny the fitness of that bottom. Kingsley was, undeniably, one of the sexiest wizards Hermione had ever met. And that voice… it made her knickers uncomfortably wet just thinking about it.
She shook the naughty thoughts from her head and turned her gaze back to Harry. So now she knew what was wrong with the relationship. It wasn’t that Harry didn’t love Ginny; it was just that he was interested in men. Perhaps he was worried that they would not accept him if they knew he was gay, or perhaps he didn’t want to hurt Ginny. If that were the case, it was probably best that she disillusion him of those thoughts right away, because remaining with Ginny when he wasn’t really in love with her was going to hurt her more in the end than finding out that Harry was gay and ending things now would. It wasn’t as though any of them had ever shown signs of homophobia. Hadn’t they all been incredibly supportive when George came out last year? But of course, this was Harry, who never seemed to get used to the idea that other people could love him and always appeared to be waiting for the other shoe to drop.
Hermione sighed to herself. Well then, if Harry was going to continue to delude himself into believing that his family would reject him if he were gay, then she was just going to have to make him see the truth. And that was exactly what she planned to do. By the end of the summer, Harry would be open and, if she had anything to do with it, in a steady relationship with someone who truly made him happy, whomever that man turned out to be. And if he ended up hating her by the end of it, then she could handle that as well. At least she’d have found a way to successfully divert herself from thoughts of university for the time being. Ron would be pleased ─ right after he got over the apoplectic fit he was going to throw as soon as he found out that Harry was gay.
/
A few days after the party, everyone was gathered at the Burrow for Sunday brunch and Hermione decided to begin her probing. With only a minimum of sly manoeuvring, she managed to corner Kingsley on his way out of the loo without actually appearing to have cornered him at all. He looked a bit startled that she was standing outside the door as he exited, but gave her a friendly smile anyway. “Hermione, you’re looking lovely this afternoon.”
Hermione grinned back at him, standing up a bit straighter and doing her best to prevent herself from preening as though she were Pansy Parkinson, but really, who could blame her? Kingsley was gorgeous, and that deep, commanding voice was enough to turn anyone’s knees to jelly. “Thank you, Kingsley. That’s very kind of you to say. How have you been?”
“Fantastic, very busy, but fantastic, and you?”
“Wonderful,” she answered quickly, impatient to get to the point. She’d never been very good at faking nonchalance. “You know, Kingsley, I’ve been wondering about something for ages now. You’re an extremely attractive man, if you don’t mind my saying so. Why haven’t you settled down with a nice woman and begun a family yet? You can’t tell me no one is available, because I’m sure there are women lined up around the block.” Hermione knew she ought to be ashamed of having asked such a personal question, but no one had ever accused her of being subtle and she saw no reason to be when there was something she wanted to know.
Kingsley didn’t appear to mind, as he let out a booming laugh and held onto the doorframe to steady himself. Once he’d settled a bit, he looked down at her with a twinkle in his eye. “Why Hermione, one would think you were propositioning me.”
Hermione was horrified and immediately turned bright red. This was not going well at all; she only wanted to know if he was gay and keen on Harry. “Of course not, I’m practically married to Ron, or I will be once he finally comes to his senses. I’m only asking because I know of several people who are interested and I thought I’d see if they were pining in vain.”
He raised a chiselled eyebrow and smirked at her. “Well, if these ‘people’ you speak of are women, they should look elsewhere, as I am very firmly interested in men only.”
Hermione grinned like the Cheshire cat. “I was hoping you’d say that.”
His eyes flashed in surprise. “You were, were you? Am I to assume that you have a man in mind for me to ‘settle down and start a family with’ then?”
“I was thinking of Harry, actually.”
This obviously threw him for a loop because he stared at her in shock for several moments before pulling himself together. “Harry Potter, Harry? I thought he was dating Miss Weasley.”
“He is, but I happen to have caught him staring at your bum on several occasions. I think he’s hiding, and I intend to pull him out of it. I just want to make sure you’re interested before I do. So, are you?”
Kingsley licked his lips and Hermione felt her knees go wobbly again. “Absolutely. That young man has the fittest arse I’ve seen in a long time.”
Hermione grimaced at the thought of Harry’s bum. “That’s lovely, but please don’t give me images like that again. He’s practically my brother.” She shook her head and then smiled up at him. “Good, then I’ll sit him down and have a talk with him and I’ll let you know when he’s ready for you to firecall. Thank you, Kingsley.” She leaned up on her tiptoes and kissed his cheek before turning away, grinning at the very pleased ‘No, thank you’ that followed her.
/
The next morning found Hermione in Harry’s living room, brushing soot from her robes and calling out for him. After a few minutes, a messy head of black hair poked in from the kitchen, followed by a dishevelled Harry still in his pyjamas. “Morning, Hermione. What are you doing here?”
“I actually have something rather important to talk to you about. Have you had your breakfast yet?” She knew it was useless to try and have a serious conversation with Harry before he’d eaten anything.
“I was just making it. Come, have a seat in the kitchen, you can tell me whatever it is you need to in there.” He disappeared again and she followed the sound of pans being shuffled about only to find him over the stove, scrambling eggs. A thestral colt lay on a nest of blankets in the corner, staring at her with its unnerving white eyes, a plaster cast encasing his right front leg.
“What happened to him?” she asked, moving over to pet the skeletal creature.
Harry turned and rolled his eyes with a wry grin. “He’s only a few weeks old and not particularly steady on his legs yet. He fell into a hole out in the forest and broke his Canon bone. The hole was only six inches deep, though, so I think he was just being rowdy and knocked himself over. The vet said he’d be fine in a few days.” Hermione nodded and patted the colt on the head before going to sit at the kitchen table. Harry joined her a few minutes later with his breakfast and two cups of tea.
“So what is it?” he asked, looking up at her as he began to eat.
She studied him for a moment, hesitant, before stating, “I know your secret, Harry, and there’s no reason for you to hide it any more.”
Harry froze, fork in mid-air, and stared at her. “What do you mean…what secret?”
“I know why you aren’t happy with Ginny; I’ve seen you looking.”
“Looking at what?” His voice was slightly shaking and she felt horrible for having to do this, but she had no other choice. If left to himself, she knew Harry would never admit to being gay, and both he and Ginny would be miserable for the rest of their lives.
“At other men.” The colour drained from Harry’s face and he looked away from her. “Harry, there’s nothing to be ashamed of. I’m not judging you. I just want to know why you’re hiding it. Why you’re with Ginny if you’re not interested in women.”
“I am interested in women.”
“Harry, you spent half an hour staring at Kingsley Shacklebolt’s bum the other night at the Auror party, and don’t try to tell me you didn’t. I watched you.”
“But that doesn’t mean I’m not interested in women. I’m just… attracted to men, as well.”
“Then, why don’t you act on it? Why are you with Ginny? I can tell that you aren’t happy, Harry.”
“I love Ginny, why shouldn’t I be with her? We’re meant for each other, everyone says so.”
“You aren’t in love with her, though, are you?” She gave him a stern glare when he looked as though he might protest. “Don’t you dare lie to me, Harry Potter, you’re worse at it than I am.”
He sighed and stabbed at his eggs. “No, I’m not in love with her. But that doesn’t mean I shouldn’t be with her, does it? It makes her happy, and it makes the Weasleys happy. And I’m not unhappy.”
“But you aren’t fulfilled and you aren’t in love, and you deserve that, Harry. And Ginny deserves to know the truth, even if it’ll hurt her. It’ll hurt her more in the end if you continue to lie to her and make her believe that you’ll have a wonderful life together.”
“Why couldn’t we have a wonderful life together?”
“Because you want to be with a man, and don’t deny it. Your eyes wouldn’t wander off if you didn’t.”
“You aren’t going to let this go, are you?”
“No, I want you to be happy, Harry. I know you don’t like to talk about it, but you’ve sacrificed more in your life than anyone else, and I think you deserve to be happy.”
“So what do you suggest I do? Break Ginny’s heart? It’s not like anyone’s even interested in me, Hermione. I’d just end up alone.”
“No, you wouldn’t. There are several blokes who are very interested in you, including Kingsley Shacklebolt. I’ve already spoken to him and he’s waiting to find out when he can floo you.”
Harry turned bright red. “Why did you do that?”
“Because he’s gorgeous and extremely keen and I don’t see why you wouldn’t get on splendidly.” Harry didn’t say anything, choosing instead to return to his breakfast. They sat in silence for a while before Hermione decided to speak again. “If you don’t tell Ginny now, you’ll only make it harder for her when she finds out later, you know. You won’t be able to hide this forever and if it comes out in five years, when you’re married and have children, everything will be much more painful.”
Harry nodded reluctantly and put his fork down. “I know that, Hermione, but it’s a lot easier to keep things the way they are.”
“I’ve never known you to take the easy way out, why start now?”
“I…” Harry sighed, defeated. “I don’t know, Hermione. If you think it’s best, I’ll tell her. I want her to be happy.”
“I do think it’s best, but because it will ultimately make you happy, and as much as I love Ginny, you are my concern.” She leaned over the table and kissed his cheek, patting his wrist. “I love you, Harry, and I just want you to be happy. Let me know when you’re ready and I’ll tell Kingsley to floo you, all right?”
“I will. I love you, too, Hermione.” They shared a brief hug and Hermione flooed out, leaving him to his thoughts.
/
It took a week for Harry to gather the courage to tell Ginny, but Hermione found out almost immediately after he did. Ron burst into his flat, spitting angry, yelling about how he was going to kill Harry and how dare he hurt his little sister like that?! After a long, heated debate, Ron finally relaxed enough to accept what was being told to him, though he was still unhappy about the situation.
It was another month before Harry indicated to Hermione that he was ready to start something with Kingsley. He spent that month secluded on his reservation with little contact with the outside world except for visits to the local vet and one run-in with Professor Snape in the Forbidden Forest while retrieving a wandering thestral.
Snape sneered at him as soon as he saw him and made a snide comment about letting his beasts roam free. Harry tried to brush the comment off and continued to amplify the scent of blood coming from the small clabbert he’d brought to entice the lost thestral. “Shouldn’t you be terrorizing First Years or something?”
“I don’t have Gryffindors of Hufflepuffs on Wednesdays; a wonder I owe a great deal to Minerva for, I’m sure.”
“Still doesn’t explain why you’re walking in the forest.”
“As foreign a concept as this may be for you, this forest is teeming with potions ingredients. I am harvesting what I can.” There was a rustling noise and both men turned to see the missing thestral poke his head out of the brush. He appeared to sniff the air for a moment before seroing in on the carcass.
“Afternoon, Albert,” Harry greeted, moving to pet his beak. Snape eyed the creature warily and Harry smiled at the weariness. “He’s harmless, Snape, you don’t need to be afraid of him.” He got a sneer for his effort and turned back to Albert. “As soon as you’re finished, we’re going back to the reserve. I know you like the forest, but it isn’t safe anymore.” He made sure that his voice was soothing and that he kept stroking the velvety spine. Usually the thestrals were self-sufficient enough not to need this sort of comfort, but Albert was older and seemed to enjoy the coddling. He was startled to feel a warmth behind him and turned to see Snape standing close, reaching for Albert’s ribs. Snape’s eyes were focused on the thestral, so Harry tried to ignore the heat of having a body so close to his and turned back to Albert, who was nearly finished eating.
“What made you take in these thestrals, Potter? They are not exactly popular animals. In fact, one might make the case that being surrounded by such creatures is decidedly morbid.”
Harry turned back around, surprised by the question. After Voldemort, no one had questioned his motives for moving to his secluded house and taking in the thestrals. He was unsure of how to answer, but something in Snape’s patient gaze made his lips loose and he was suddenly speaking. “They make me feel closer to Hagrid. He was my first friend and, in a way, my saviour, and I miss him a lot. Taking care of the thestrals feels like something he would want me to do. He cared a lot for them and now that he’s gone, they don’t have anyone to take care of them. I had all that money from the Ministry and I liked the solace of the reservation. It’s peaceful. I know they look like creatures out of Hell, but I think they’re beautiful.” Snape raised an eyebrow at the last and Harry hurried to explain. “Not conventionally beautiful, but their fur is like velvet and they’re so graceful when they move. I can’t keep my eyes off them sometimes.”
“They distract you from everything else, don’t they?”
“Yes.”
“Is this why you’ve left Miss Weasley?”
Harry averted his eyes back to Albert, who had long-since finished eating. “We should go. Matilda will need to eat soon.” He climbed onto Albert’s back, nodded goodbye to Snape, and they were headed back to the reserve. In the back of his mind, Harry knew that it was rude to have left so abruptly, but he wasn’t ready to talk about Ginny or his bisexuality.
It was a few more weeks before he was comfortable enough to let Hermione talk to Kingsley, but it wasn’t four hours before Kingsley firecalled and asked him to dinner. They were to meet at a small restaurant of Diagon Alley the next night, but Harry was so nervous he nearly cancelled three times before Hermione showed up at his door an hour before he was to go. She shuffled him into his bedroom and immediately picked out the tightest pair of trousers in his armoire.
“But I haven’t worn those since Fifth Year!” he protested as she bodily wrestled him out of his loose-fitting work jeans.
“They’ll fit; you haven’t got any taller.” He shot her a glare at that, which she dutifully ignored. Before he knew what was happening, she’d squeezed him into the trousers and stepped back to admire her handiwork.
“I can’t move,” he complained, trying to take a step but only succeeding in nearly toppling over.
Hermione rolled her eyes and waved her wand at the trousers and suddenly his circulation returned. “Kingsley’s going to be salivating over you.”
Harry scowled and moved over to examine himself in the mirror. “I look ridiculous. No one wears trousers this tight, Hermione, you can’t seriously think I’ll wear them tonight.” A minor argument ensued, but still, half an hour later Harry found himself standing in front of the restaurant in his painted-on trousers. He tried to block out the image of Hermione’s smug face as he’d left and was successful only when he caught sight of Kingsley and nearly swallowed his tongue. Kingsley visibly checked him out before moving to his side and right into his personal space. “Good evening.”
“Hi,” Harry all but whispered, so nervous his hands were shaking.
“You look amazing. Thank you for agreeing to come; I know you’re probably very nervous, but you needn’t be. I plan to take very good care of you.”
Not knowing how to respond, Harry only smiled and allowed Kingsley to escort him into the restaurant. The dinner went well despite Harry’s nervousness. Kingsley did most of the talking, which gave Harry plenty of time to relax and get used to being on a date with a man he’d been having sporadic wet dreams about since he was fifteen. By the time Kingsley was asking to escort him home, he was settled enough to ask him inside for a drink. Before he knew it, he was sitting on the couch with a glass of firewhiskey and Kingsley was leaning in to kiss him. The entire date had felt like it went speeding by him, but this, this felt as though time had stopped moving. He felt Kingsley’s tongue trace his bottom lip and opened to him, kissing back in earnest.
Kingsley’s kiss was like a fire, intoxicating, all consuming; it felt like flames were spreading out through his bloodstream to engulf his entire body. His hand moved to the back of his partner’s neck and was struck by the strength under his fingers. Kissing Ginny had never felt like this, this intense, this… right. That was it; it felt right to be kissing another man like this, to be pressed into the couch cushions, to be guided there. As Kingsley deepened the kiss, Harry found himself becoming lost.
/
Harry woke the next morning to a nudging at his elbow and peered up at little Emmy’s sharp beak poking at him. He sighed and lazily petted her, trying to gather his thought before getting up to feed her. He felt a hand brush against his side and turned to look at Kingsley, sprawled out next to him, still asleep. His dark skin glowed in the morning light peeking through the blinds and he looked like the most delectable thing Harry had ever seen. He was tempted to stay in bed, but another poke from Emmy reminded him that he could not. Careful not to wake his bed partner, he slipped out of bed and pulled on his pants before taking Emmy into the kitchen to fetch her a few rats.
He leaned against the counter, blindly staring at Emmy eat, distracted by his thoughts. He had been certain that everything would change as soon as he slept with a man, but the only difference he felt was soreness in his bum. He was still himself, still being woken up at the crack of dawn by his insistent thestral colt that refused to move back out onto the reserve; nothing had changed. But was this the right decision? Was the way he felt when with Kingsley worth the pain he had caused Ginny? And what about the media attention this was going to bring to him? He had managed to dodge the media after the war by moving to his remote home and surrounding himself with supposedly ‘dark, evil’ animals, but Kingsley lived in London and worked at the Ministry. There would be no hiding a relationship between them.
He was distracted from his thoughts by a sharp knock at the door and went to open it, unconscious of his near nudity. He was stunned to see Snape standing at his door, looking uncomfortable. “Yes?” he asked.
“Potter,” he greeted, nodding at him before averting his eyes. Harry was too confused to try and figure out why. “As much as it grieves me to say so, I am in need of your assistance. I am brewing a potion that requires thestral blood and the apothecary I normally go to is out of stock at the moment.”
Harry stared at him in shock. He hadn’t had enough sleep, he was sure of it. He hadn’t really just heard Snape admit he needed his help. “You want thestral blood?”
Snape looked as though it pained him to have to communicate with such an imbecile. “Yes, I believe I had just stated so.”
“How much do you need? You aren’t killing any of them.”
“Of course not, I only require a quarter of a pint. Hagrid used to procure it for me regularly.”
“Then, why haven’t you asked me before?”
“I believed you despised my presence and would rather assist the Dark Lord.”
Harry rolled his eyes and nodded inside. “Come on, then. I have to go and check on the herd anyway.” He turned back into the house and went to change into his work clothing only to realize to his horror as soon as he walked into his room that he’d answered the door and spent five minutes talking to Snape in only his underwear. No wonder Snape had been uncomfortable! He quickly pulled clothing on, making sure to remain quiet, and went back out to meet Snape. He was surprised to find that the professor was petting Emmy, who was nudging her beak into his stomach and making contented whining noises. Kingsley had been wary of the miniature thestral and had avoided her even when she made moves to get him to pet her. Harry wasn’t sure how he felt about Snape’s apparent ease with the animal.
“You can’t use Emmy. She’s only three months old and she’s just got over an injury.”
Snape looked up at him, obviously relieved that he’s dressed. “I need an adult sample. Why is this one not outside?”
“She refuses to go. I think I might have spoiled her by keeping her inside while her leg healed,” he explained as he led his former professor to the back. Emmy followed as far as the back door, but turned away from stepping outside. “See? She acts like she’s allergic to grass or something.”
“Perhaps if you levitated her and then locked her out, she would assimilate to the outdoors.”
Harry stared at him in disbelief. “I couldn’t do that; she’s just a baby. It would traumatize her.”
“Potter, this is a thestral, not a puppy. You cannot traumatize a thestral. You act as though the thing were your pet.”
Harry glared at him, but ignored the last of his comment. Thestrals weren’t pets, but little Emmy held a special place in his heart and he wasn’t about to deny her comfort. “I’m not doing it. She’ll grow out of this and join the herd when she’s ready. For now, I kind of like having her in the house.”
“She doesn’t make a mess?” He sounded surprised to hear it.
“No, she’s fairly quiet most of the time, doesn’t get excited often.”
“I was rather referring to her excrement, actually.”
“They don’t produce any, at least not in the usual way. They sweat everything out, something to do with their magic, though what I couldn’t say. It’s rather convenient for having her inside, though.”
Snape nodded and the conversation died out as Harry concentrated on looking for fresh tracks. He knew the general area the herd would be in at this time of the morning, but it took recognizing fresh hoof prints to actually locate them. Within ten minutes, though, they’d discovered them and Harry indicated the strongest one, not certain how Snape intended to draw the blood. He only hoped it didn’t involve a knife.
Snape stunned Reginald and approached him cautiously, aware of his agitated fellow thestrals. Harry reassured them with gentle words, but a few of the younger females still looked as though they might bite. “I would work quickly. His mating partners can be a bit aggressive.”
Snape didn’t indicate that he’d heard him, but he pressed the tip of his wand to Reginald’s throat and held it there for a minute before backing away and releasing the stunning spell. He turned to Harry with a nod. “That is all I need, thank you.”
Harry was confused. Where had the blood gone? “Did you get it?”
“Yes, I did.” To Harry’s surprise, he reached into his robes and pulled out a full vial of red liquid.
“That was easy. Mind waiting a few minutes while I check everyone out and then I can walk you back to the house?” Snape nodded and stood back while Harry wandered among the heard, cautious of their agitated state. Ten minutes later, he’d assured himself that everyone was in good health and turned back to Snape with a smile. “Everything looks good; let’s head back.” Suddenly Snape’s eyes went large and before Harry knew what was happening, he was tackled to the ground and felt the sensations of apparition. He stared up at Snape, whose tense, panting body covered his, eyebrows raised and unable to speak.
“You should have been paying more attention. One of the more agitated females was about to tear a section out of your stomach.”
Harry’s eyes widened in horror before a grin spread across his lips. “I knew you had a thing for saving my life,” he joked, grinning up at Snape like a loon.
Snape made a derisive sound in his throat and pushed off of Harry, scowling as he stood and brushed off his robes. “Don’t be ridiculous; I would have done the same for anyone.”
Harry held back a laugh at the glare he was receiving and climbed to his feet, accidentally moving closer to Snape than he’d intended. “I’m sure you would, what with your unending compassion for the human race, and all.”
“Indeed,” he deadpanned, but his expression had softened considerably and from Harry’s position he almost looked pleased. There was a tension in the air, Harry could feel it, but he wasn’t meant to find out what exactly caused the tension, because at that moment the back door opened and Kingsley stuck his head out.
“There you are. I was getting worried you’d left without waking me.” He looked surprised to see Snape, but smiled in greeting. “Morning, Severus. What brings you here this early in the morning?”
Snape raised an eyebrow at Harry and Harry’s stomach floated into his throat. He hadn’t come out to anyone not in his immediate social group and he’d blatantly avoided telling Snape his reasons for leaving Ginny when he’d asked. This wasn’t precisely what he’d envisioned for Snape finding out. Snape didn’t appear to be too perturbed, though, just surprised. “I was in need of thestral blood for a potion and Harry was kind enough to allow me access to his thestrals.” He turned to Harry. “Thank you, again. I’ll leave you to your guest now. I apologize if I’ve interrupted anything.”
“You, er… you didn’t interrupt anything. And you’re welcome. You can come back any time if you need more.”
“Indeed, I might be back soon. Good day.” He turned and nodded to Kingsley before apparating away. Harry stood in tense silence for a few moments before Kingsley joined him on the grass, naked but for his pants, and pulled him in for a good morning kiss.
“Why do you look as though you’ve just seen a boggart?”
Harry furrowed his brows for a moment in confusion before smiling and shaking his head. “Nothing, I just hadn’t told Snape that I was gay. I didn’t know how he was going to react.”
“Well, you needn’t have worried. He’s of our persuasion himself, you know,” Kingsley murmured back before sucking Harry’s ear into his mouth. Harry gasped in surprise and clung to his shoulders, feeling himself harden at the contact.
“He is? I didn’t know that.”
“Indeed, but enough talk about Severus. Why don’t we return to bed? I wasn’t finished ravishing you last night and I would very much like to continue.” He squeezed Harry’s bum for emphasis, making Harry squeak and cling to him harder.
“Inside sounds like a good idea.” Kingsley had picked him up and was heading back for the house before he’d even finished his sentence.
/
The relationship moved steadily along as the weeks and then months went by. They miraculously managed to keep out of the papers for several months before they were outed by a restaurant worker late in January and were forced to endure dozens of reporters and cameras at every street door or window of Kingsley’s London flat until, finally, they decided to only meet at Harry’s home. For reasons Harry chocked up to his thestrals, the reporters rarely came to the reserve, and secluding their relationship to the remote location ensured their privacy for a while. Unfortunately, the reprieve was not enough to keep the mounting pressures of the media at bay, and they soon parted ways, deciding it would be best to remain friends. Kingsley returned to his usual life, while Harry secluded himself at his reserve once more and rarely saw visitors.
In his seclusion, Snape had become his only companion. Hermione had been disappointed to hear that the relationship had failed, but as she had moved to Oxford months earlier and began her study, she was too busy most of the time to visit or talk, even by floo. The Ministry kept Ron busier than was probably healthy, but he invited Harry to the pub every once in a while. He often had to decline, though, as reporters still had a tendency to follow him about (more than ever, if truth be told, while they all fought to be the first to discover any possible new love interest of his), and he didn’t like the exposure.
So Harry was left to weekly visits from Snape to keep him company, and he’d taken to inviting the man to tea whenever he could. It was rare that Snape accepted the invitation, but on occasion he did. During one such occasion they were sitting in the living room, talking about the changes Hogwarts had gone through, when in a lull of conversation, Harry became compelled to ask his guest about his love life. He hadn’t planned to do so. He hadn’t even been aware that he wanted to know, but one minute he was silent, and the next his mouth was moving without any thought from his brain.
“Aren’t you ever lonely?”
“Lonely?” came the surprised response.
“For a companion. I realize I don’t see everything or even most of what you do, but you’ve never given any indication that you might have a lover or even a close friend. Don’t you get lonely living all alone in those dungeons with only the students to keep you company?”
For a moment it appeared as though he might not answer, and Harry was beginning to regret having asked, but then the older man set down his teacup and his voice was almost uncertain. “I get along very well with several of my colleagues, and you and I have developed a… friendship of sorts, at least I like to think so. I don’t need much else. Why do you ask?”
“I was just wondering. I know it gets lonely here sometimes without anyone to talk to, especially at night. Haven’t you ever wanted to be with anyone?” Harry knew he shouldn’t be asking these questions, that they were none of his business, but he somehow couldn’t stop himself from asking and found that he truly wanted to know.
“I learned a long time ago not to delude myself with fantasies of the flesh. I am… unappealing to those of either sex. There is no reason for my to believe that anyone would want me.”
Harry was surprised that he would say so and even more surprised at what came out of his own mouth next. “I don’t think that’s true. You’re very attractive, in your own way. No, you don’t look like those blokes on the cover of Wizard’s Quarterly or Spellpot, but you’ve got your own appeal. I don’t see why anyone able to see past the obvious wouldn’t find you quite handsome.” Snape looked as shocked by his statement as he was, and had apparently been rendered speechless. Dread filled Harry as the realization of what had just spilled from his mouth caught up to him and he stuttered out an apology as quickly as he could. “I’m so sorry, that was completely uncalled for. I don’t know what I was thinking; I hadn’t intended to say that. I had not right to speak to you that way.”
There was a minute of silence before Snape responded, in which Harry hung his head and began worrying a rip in his worn, work jeans. “I thought we’d come to an understanding, Potter, a… friendship. I should have known that you’d only invite me to tea to insult me. I’ll be on my way, now.” He moved to stand and Harry, suddenly panicked, grabbed his wrist to stop him.
“No, don’t go. I’m sorry I was forward with you, but I wasn’t trying to play a joke.” He looked back down at his lap nervously. “What I mean to say is I hadn’t known I thought that way, but now that I’ve said it, I realize I do. You aren’t conventionally good looking, no, but I like you. And I don’t see why, with time to get to know you, anyone else wouldn’t find you attractive as well.”
There was another pause in which Harry fidgeted, but he didn’t let go of Snape’s wrist. “Potter, are you coming on to me?”
Harry’s head snapped up at search his face, confused. Was he coming on to Snape? Did he want Snape? Was this really what he’d been looking for all along? He was only a little surprised by the answer he gave. “Yes.”
“Potter, if you’re doing this as a joke…”
Harry smiled. “My name is Harry.” He leaned in and pressed his lips to Snape’s before Snape could respond and a rush of warmth and excitement went through him. This was exactly what he wanted and exactly where he was supposed to be. Snape kissed back, pushing against him, demanding entrance to his mouth, hands buried in his hair. Harry climbed into his lap, unable to control himself, but it was all right because Snape seemed out of control as well. He pulled Harry closer by his arse and pressed their bodies tightly together, grinding their hips together and Harry moaned into his mouth, grinding back.
Neither heard the floo connect, both so distracted with each other, but they couldn’t ignore the screech that followed. “FOR FUCK’S SAKE, HARRY! IS THAT SNAPE?!” Ron’s disembodied head shrieked from the green flames.
Harry was shocked out of their embrace and twisted in Snape’s lap to look at Ron in shock. “What are you doing? Shouldn’t you be at work?”
“I got the afternoon off, wanted to know if you’d come round the pub with me. I didn’t think you’d be fuckin’ round with Snape! What are you doing?!” His face was snarled into a disgusted look and Harry scowled right back.
“Who I choose to spend my time with is none of your business, Ronald Weasley. Now sod off before I call Hermione and tell her you’d skived off work.” His voice was trained to imitate Hermione’s authoritative tone, one he knew worked on Ron, and it did this time as well. Ron’s head quickly disappeared and they were once more alone. Harry knew he’d have to deal with Ron later, but right now he’d just like to get back to getting the life snogged out of him. “Where were we?” he asked slyly as he turned back around. Snape looked uncertain again, almost hesitant to touch Harry, and whatever erection he’d had before had clearly wilted to nothing.
“I should go,” he said, moving to nudge Harry off so that he could leave, but Harry was determined and stood (or in his case sat) his ground.
“You should stay exactly where you are.”
“Mr. Weasley’s disgust has made it clear to me that anything between us would be ridiculous and futile. Let us agree that this was a mistake so that I may go and we can forget the entire incident ever happened.” He moved once more to expel Harry from his lap, but Harry only sighed in exasperation and clamped his hands onto Severus’ shoulders.
“Severus.” He waited until they had full eye contact before continuing. “Shut up.” He kissed him again, pushing him against the back of the couch, and this time, Severus didn’t try to push him off.
-END
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