snarrymod (snarrymod) wrote in snarry_games, @ 2007-04-16 20:32:00 |
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Original poster: snarrymod
Title: Vision in Colour
Author: Anise (anise_anise)
Team: Postwar
Prompt: Sanctuary
Genres: Romance and Angst
Rating: R to NC-17… It's actually pretty tame for me.
Word Count: 7,862
A/N: Thanks to my mooncharm for the amazing beta and for the unending support. Love you sugar.
Disclaimer: I don't own them, I'm only using them for recreational purposes. Harry Potter is property of JK Rowling, no copyright infringement is intended.
Summary: "Severus understood the haunted look in Potter’s eyes. So much so, that he’d have felt sorry for the boy - if he could have felt anything."
Potter was different.
He’d watched him for years; the changes like seasons, flashing before his eyes. A prepubescent cherub-faced boy, cheeks flushed pink as he stared around the Great Hall. An awkward adolescent, gangly limbs and knobby knees, uncertain and unsure and most of all angry at the world around him. A young man, broader in the chest, a spattering of hair against a strong-set jaw, a fierce spark behind those always present lenses.
He’d hated them all, every stage worse than the one before, bringing Potter closer to the memories of his youth and the man who had tormented him.
He’d hated his determination, his drive, his ability to come out on top no matter what this God forsaken world seemed to throw at him. He’d hated him as he’d curled his mind around Potter’s memories, as he’d taught him potions and defense. He’d hated him as he’d watched Dumbledore fall, the pain nearly blinding, his chest an empty void as his one ally slipped away. Even as they’d fought side by side in the end, defending each other, he’d hated him.
He couldn’t find it in himself to hate him anymore.
Potter moved like a wraith through his day, much as Severus did himself. The spark that had resided beyond those eyes had been extinguished with the deaths of Weasley and Granger.
The boy had returned to Hogwarts afterward, battle scarred and sullen, while the world around him erupted in celebration and moved on without him. He didn’t even attempt to keep up.
Severus understood the haunted look in Potter’s eyes. So much so, that he’d have felt sorry for the boy if he could have felt anything.
Numbness was a way of life now, and it should have been a blessed relief from years of pain and fear. It almost seemed as if it were all a horrible dream, one that he wasn’t sure he’d ever wake up from. But it was over. Sometimes, at night, when the shadows crawled across his floor and the dungeon walls seemed to shift inward, he would have to remind himself of that. Then, in the deepest part of night, he could imagine that he felt his arm twinge and fear would sink its cold fingers into his chest. There was nothing but scar tissue left now, a gruesome twisted ruin of a mark that was a constant reminder. Even though the scar was numb, like everything else, there was a lingering fear that one day it would not be. Thankfully the fear only reared its head at night.
It was the only thing he ever felt anymore.