InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "By the power of Greyskull!"

Oliver Wood (die__trying) wrote in snark_n_bark,
@ 2009-02-16 20:40:00

Entry tags:

faelan, oliver

He ain't heavy
Characters: Oliver and Faelan
Summary: The Wood brothers have a chat

Oliver stopped just outside the nursery and pulled the oft-refolded notes from an inside pocket. The owl post with Harry from last week. He felt like a big girl about it, rereading the notes they'd sent back and forth, but that hadn't stopped him from doing it. In the absence of actually being able to see Harry, it was the next best thing.

It was going to be fine. He'd touch base with Faelan and see if there was anything he could do to help him through what had been, undeniably, an incredibly rough few months. Then he'd get his brother's opinion on carrying on with Harry, and if it was early enough, Disapparate straight to Haven's Loft to give Harry the news in person.

On a deeply inhaled breath, Oliver tucked the notes away and made his way inside, looking around for his brother.

"Fae? You here mate?"

(Read comments) - (Post a new comment)

runaway_cub
2009-02-16 08:21 pm UTC (link)

Faelan shrugged, tossing the crisps aside, which he'd found under a pile of papers, a muddy shirt, and a dying leaf he was trying to practice his rejuvenation skills on. A pair of his jeans stuck out from under a pillow, piles of balled up, barely started sketches littered the floor and he didn't know the last time he'd taken a real shower. He was really lucky he had a lenient boss.

Flopping down on the edge of the divan and staring at his folded hands, he said, "I'm managing fine." He knew he was isolated, but even in the best circumstances he'd never been good at socializing. He wasn't really sure how he was supposed to reach out again.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	die__trying 2009-02-16 08:25 pm UTC (link)
	"Of course you are," Oliver said, the sarcasm practically dripping from his voice. "I've never seen anyone more fine in my life. Why you're practically the epitome of fine and dandy, holed up here with your clothes, your crisps and," he stopped and sniffed, "that new aroma you've discovered." He gave Faelan a hard look. "You have a house, you know." (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

runaway_cub
2009-02-16 08:33 pm UTC (link)

"I know," Faelan said, his tone more defensive than he intended, although he really didn't care that much. "I've been home." But for some reason, he didn't sleep well there. Haven's Loft was big and full of quiet sounds, and here it felt more like being outside. The only thing that made noise were plants and bugs and Trevor.

And Padma had never slept here.

"Neville needs me right now. He can't do as much work anymore and he needs me to stay close in case anything happens here."

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	die__trying 2009-02-16 08:36 pm UTC (link)
	Oliver took a deep breath. "Yeah, from what I hear you pass through there from time to time." He ran a hand through already disheveled hair. "Don't get me wrong in what I'm about to say, Fae, I'm glad you're helping Neville and everything, but have you ever thought that Harry might need you as well?" (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	runaway_cub 2009-02-16 08:43 pm UTC (link)
	Faelan shifted, pulling one leg up to his chest. He had thought that. In a way. "I think...Harry needs something." He did worry about the man, a lot. But he didn't honestly think there was anything he could do about it. "He misses Sirius." Genuinely confused, he reasoned, "But I'm not Sirius. I'm just...me." (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	die__trying 2009-02-16 08:48 pm UTC (link)
	"Yes, you're just you. And you're a link to Sirius," Oliver said, almost dismissively, "but you're his friend as well, yeah? And probably one of the few people who understand the loss, who feels it about as deeply as he does. Don't you reckon it might help both of you to work through it together?" (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

runaway_cub
2009-02-16 08:53 pm UTC (link)

The thought made him frown. How were they supposed to do that? "What would we do?" He asked, shaking his head. "We can't bring him back or undo anything that happened. Why should we talk about it and just remind ourselves of...of how much it hurts?" He said this last part quietly, the words strange on his tongue. He didn't usually admit when he was in pain. The statement seemed to echo loudly around them.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

die__trying
2009-02-16 08:59 pm UTC (link)

"Sometimes you need to do just that, though. Talk about how much it hurts, what you miss, what you don't." He stopped and took a deep breath, running his hand through his hair again. "It took me so long to do that, and my first real lover to draw it out of me. But I did, and I found I could live again after all. And without the pain I'd been carrying around since you...," he stopped there.

"I don't want to see you hurt that way, Faelan."

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

runaway_cub
2009-02-16 09:06 pm UTC (link)

Faelan looked down at his foot, fingering the frayed edge of his jeans. He knew how much it hurt losing people, and although he still didn't really get why it had hurt Oliver so much to lose him, he still felt immensely guilty about it.

"Maybe I'll try to spend more time at home," he said, although he knew it would be hard to resist the lure of his shut door and the heavy blankets Sirius had bought him that were so good for curling up under. With another person. But Harry was always there for him, so if Oliver thought he needed to be there in return, he supposed he did owe it.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	die__trying 2009-02-16 09:09 pm UTC (link)
	He sat back a little, feeling somewhat more at ease. "I'm sure Harry will be thrilled if you do. He misses you, Faelan. I've missed you, too. I mean, I know I'm not around as much as I'd like, especially now the season's in swing, but I have." (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

runaway_cub
2009-02-16 09:19 pm UTC (link)

Faelan wasn't really sure how to admit that he'd missed Oliver too, when he still felt like he barely knew his brother. There was always, still, the deep down fear that his brother would leave him, or that Harry would, and that terror, which had sharpened substantially when Sirius left, was so agonizing now that he could hardly breathe. Padma had left too, and it felt like he was always holding onto people with invisible strings, impossibly thin, which could snap irreparably at any moment. It never occurred to him that some people could be just as desperate to hold on to the string at the other end, when others had let it go so easily.

Life was always so confusing.

"I haven't been following the scores very well. I'm sorry."

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

die__trying
2009-02-16 09:25 pm UTC (link)

"Don't worry about it," Oliver said with a smile, waving his hand. "The league standings are hardly vital to the well being of anyone. Except the sports writer for the Prophet perhaps."

He felt the notes in his pocket practically burning their way through his shirt and tried to decide if he should broach the subject or not. Half of him was tempted to keep it for later, but the other half wanted answers, wanted to move forward. Still, he wasn't about to blurt it straight out.

"You do know that any time you want to come see a match all you need to do is owl me, yeah?"

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

runaway_cub
2009-02-16 09:34 pm UTC (link)

"Yeah, sure," Faelan answered with a smile. It was actually funny to think of how resistant he'd been to the idea of Quidditch only a little over a year ago, when the idea of a match now seemed like a non-event.

Silence fell for a moment and Faelan looked up, feeling his brother's deep concern like a breath of air. It felt better than Faelan ever could have admitted, or imagined. Maybe he did need people more than he thought, but it was still so hard to trust anyone other than himself. How could he learn to balance such conflicting emotions?

"You sure you don't want some tea or something?" A few minutes ago, he hadn't wanted to see his brother at all, but now he found that he wasn't quite ready for him to leave.

(Reply to this) (Parent)

(Read comments) -