Cat and Bear Are Friends Characters: Regulus, Sekhmet Summary: While deciding what to do with Gaius' teddy bear, Regulus realizes something about himself.
It was late when Regulus returned home; there was still a great deal of work to be done at the new shop, and he still dragged his feet a little when it came to returning to the flat. Sekhmet was there to greet him, of course, but it wasn't quite the same, and he had resisted the temptation to respond to her greetings as he had Anubis'. It was too dangerous, and it would lead to an attachment he wasn't certain he wanted.
He arrived with the box Gaius had brought in his arms, and he set it down carefully on the hearth rug, not wanting to damage any of the dinnerware. Running the tip of his wand along the seal, he opened the box - and found the teddy bear on top once more. He pulled it out and sat down on the floor, holding up the bear.
"What am I going to do with you?" he asked with a sigh.
Sekhmet had been waiting all day for Stormy-Eyes to return, and she was glad when he finally walked in the door. She greeted him with a friendly chirrup, which he barely acknowledged before he moved to sit in front of the cold fireplace with a box she didn't remember him leaving with. Curious, as all cats couldn't help but be, she followed after him, perching on the closest chair so that she could peer over his shoulder to look at the contents. He removed something that looked soft and furry, and then he spoke to it as though it could understand him.
That annoyed her, and she hopped down, placing her paws on his leg and staring up into his face. She caught a whiff of a familiar scent, and realized it came from the furry thing in his hands. It smelled like Changing-Cat, only this wasn't him; this wasn't even alive.
"Mrrraow!" she said in a tone that conveyed both inquiry and censure, and then she bit down onto one of the furry thing's legs, grabbing it from Stormy-Eyes and backing away, worrying the dusty tasting fur as though it were prey, head snapping from side to side.
"No!" Regulus exclaimed, alarmed, and he grabbed the teddy bear's arm and tried to wrest it from Sekhmet's jaws. "You can't play with this. It isn't mine, and..." He faltered, unsure why he was so concerned about the toy not sustaining any damage when it meant nothing to him and if he was supposed to keep it until he and Gaius were comfortable with each other, he might very well die of old age with it still stuffed in his closet. But it meant something to Gaius, and Gaius had put it into his safe-keeping, thus Regulus now felt a sense of responsibility for it. "Just don't tear it. Please," he added, remembering the last time she had taken something from him.
The look of horror on Stormy-Eyes' face showed that he wasn't amused by the game, and the entreaty in his voice was real. Since Sekhmet had only been playing, rather than seriously trying to do harm, she released the furry thing, and then she sat back on her haunches and regarded Stormy-Eyes with her head tilted to one side. Why he would talk to the thing and not to her, and feel protective of it was a little confusing. She stood, walking forward slowly, then butted her head against Stormy-Eyes arm, rubbing her cheek against him in apology. She just wished he would explain to her what he was thinking and why he didn't like her very much.
Grateful that she had released the toy, he inspected it to make sure there were no tears that needed mending, and then he reached out hesitantly and scratched her head. The bear lay in his lap, staring up at him, and the cat was beside him, rubbing against him, and he sighed as he realized he had chattered away to Anubis, and then he'd spoken to an inanimate object. Clearly, he needed to voice his thoughts aloud, and if there was nothing alive to hear him, the bare walls would do. It was, he supposed, another step on his path to mad old hermit-hood, but he couldn't deny he needed an outlet any longer.
"Gaius gave this to me today," he said, picking up the toy in his free hand. He didn't know exactly how much Sekhmet could understand of what he was saying, but he realized he hadn't known how much Anubis had understood either, and it hadn't mattered; he simply needed to get his thoughts out of his own head. "Another attempt to make amends. I suppose he thinks I need something to cuddle."
Sekhmet leaned into the scratching gratefully, glad that he was at least willing to acknowledge her in a positive way. She listened to him speak, understanding a bit of it: Changing-Cat's human name, which she'd heard several times, and the word "cuddle", which she liked very much. But she didn't think he meant he wanted to cuddle Changing-Cat, or, if he did, he wasn't very happy about it from the look in his eyes. Sorrow and pain she knew very well, for so many of the people who came to the Temple seeking solace looked as Stormy-Eyes did - lost and unhappy.
Temple cats were good at giving comfort, and she purred as she leaned against him, letting him know there was another living creature there, one who cared how he felt.
"Needing something... that isn't a comfortable idea," he murmured, trailing his fingers along the length of her back to the tip of her tail. "Not as a Black or as a Slytherin. I'm not supposed to, but... perhaps I do. It just seems the things I want... the things I need... are either impossible for me to have or they don't stay. It's easier to stop wanting, if all you get is disappointment." He smiled mirthlessly. "Suddenly, I understand Serenus, only things turned around for him." He fell silent, lost in thought and idly continuing to stroke her.
Sekhmet stepped up the purr a bit, pleased that he was speaking. She knew about need and disappointment, and she ached for knowing that he felt it, but it seemed that he didn't wish to allow anyone to help him through it. It was no crime to take comfort from others when needed, anymore than it was a problem to accept food if one was hungry or warmth when one was cold. Humans often made the most simple matters extremely complicated. It was natural to want to feel good rather than bad, but humans often seemed to forget that.
She knew it benefited a human to stroke her almost as much as it pleased her to be stroked, so she arched under his hand to encourage him to keep doing it.
It was different, the feel of Sekhmet's bigger, stronger body beneath his hand, but Regulus had to admit it wasn't unpleasant. The feel of fur and the soothing purr were comforting, and he released a long, slow breath, relaxing a little and letting himself be comforted; perhaps this was safe, if nothing else was, and he had missed it so much. Weak, perhaps, but true, and he had to admit it, if only to himself.
Giving in at last, he began to stroke and caress her with a surer touch, as he had once stroked Anubis. The familiarity made his throat tighten a little, but it was welcome too.
As Stormy-Eyes' caresses became longer and and more certain, Sekhmet stepped up the level of the purr, daring to move closer, stepping carefully until she was in his lap. She pressed into his abdomen, rubbing her head against him, glad to offer at least some level of comfort to him. Humans needed cats, even if they didn't always know it.
Regulus moved the bear out of the way, making room for her in his lap, and he continued to stroke and pet her gently. "So much for strength and will-power," he murmured, scratching behind her ears. "Ah, well. If I'm going to succumb to my own neediness, at least you won't tell anyone."
Sekhmet gave a soft buzz of agreement; she never betrayed secrets, and she didn't care how needy or damaged someone was. She wanted to make Stormy-Eyes feel better, to help him to get through whatever doubts and pains he was suffering. She liked him; for all that he hadn't paid as much attention to her as she felt she deserved, he was a good man. She was never wrong about people, and Stormy-Eyes deserved better than he'd apparently been given by the world.
In for a penny, in for a pound, Regulus thought. Now that he had lowered one wall, it was easier to let another crumble, and he gathered her up in his arms and cradled her against his chest, wanting to feel as well as hear the comforting purring. He sighed quietly, a knot in his chest loosening a little, and he found himself smiling.
Stormy-Eyes picked her up and cuddled her, and Sekhmet was very glad of it, nuzzling into his arms with a great deal of satisfaction. She purred so hard that she vibrated with it, ecstatic that he was at last seeming to accept her. She saw the smile curving his lips, and she lifted her head to nuzzle his cheek with hers. Hopefully now that he was accepting her, she could help him heal some of the pain that haunted him so.
Still smiling, Regulus nuzzled his cheek against hers in return. "I suppose I have reason to be genuinely grateful to Gaius after all... although I still don't know what to do about him. He wants things to be like they were, and I've no idea if that is even possible." He sighed and nuzzled the top of her head. "Baby steps, I suppose. Some things can't be rushed."
"Mroaw!" Sekhmet agreed, arching up under his chin so that his facial fur slid through hers. She turned so that she could look directly into his face, green eyes intent on his pale ones. Possibilities, she knew, were endless; it was one of the things that had lured her out of the comfort and security of the Temple to accompany a stranger to a far away land on behalf of someone who needed her help. Stormy-Eyes simply needed to open himself up to those possibilities, to permit himself to heal with the help of those who cared about him. She cared about him, and she knew that Changing-Cat, his Gaius, cared about him more than he realized. It might take time, but she was there to help him see the truth.
That she was obviously listening and responding, even though he couldn't know how much she understood, was heartening; it helped him feel as if he could have a companion like he'd had in Anubis. He scratched under her chin and smiled. "I'm glad you agree," he said. "But if nothing else, at least I have you, right?"
Sekhmet gave a chirp of agreement, understanding that comment completely; he did have her, and she wasn't going anywhere. Leaning forward, she nuzzled his cheek again reassuringly. For all that humans thought they were smarter than cats, it often took answering in several different ways to make them really understand.
Winding his arms around her tighter, Regulus cuddled her close and returned the nuzzling affectionately. "Thank you. That is very reassuring." He lowered her to his lap and picked up the teddy bear again. "I suppose I could hold on to this for a while. It has been quite some time since I had a stuffed toy in my possession. I gave up my stuffed turtle at an early age because Sirius made fun of me." He nodded firmly. "Yes, a turtle. Bears were too common."
Stormy-Eyes put her back in his lap, picking up the furry toy and looking at it once more. She couldn't resist batting at it playfully, although, mindful of his previous upset with her game, she kept her claws sheathed and only popped it gently. She did, however, growl playfully, as though agreeing with his comment about the commonality of bears. Of course, Temple cats were even more rare, and she intended to make certain he didn't forget it.
This time, he wasn't worried she would damage the bear since he could see her claws were sheathed, and he didn't pull it out of the way, letting her bat at it. He felt better, oddly enough; for the first time since losing Anubis, he didn't feel quite so empty and lost. The pain of losing both his brother and his cat so close together was still there, of course, but it wasn't as sharp an ache as it had been.
"Is it dinner time now?" he asked, smoothing his hand along her back. "I have new plates to try out, and there is fish in the cold box if you don't want to go out and hunt."
Dinner, and fish... Sekhmet licked her lips, looking up at him and purring again. She liked to hunt, and while rodents and rabbits and such were all very well and good, Stormy-Eyes had introduced her to the wonder of fish, and she liked it very, very much. "Mmmmrrrrrrooow!" She agreed, arching against his stomach again before hopping down to the floor. She trotted forward toward the kitchen, then stopped and looked back over her shoulder at him, twitch her tail in an obvious "well come on, then, slow poke!" gesture. Fish was no joking matter, at least not in her book!