Is this the real life? Is this just fantasy?
Characters: Debi, Zach, and a few others Status: complete
"And this is Baby Snooks," she said, politely introducing the toddler-sized child to the wolf, her mother, and a smiling Vulcan and his extremely tall partner. "Isn't she adorable?"
"Hey! I can talk for myself!" The baby, who sounded an awful lot like a New Jersey cab driver, threw a cigar over her shoulder and sat up. "This is the world, huh? Wow. Lot less red than I thought it was."
"That's because you were inside Mommy's tummy, dear, and - "
"That's my girl! She'll be Keeper for England one of these days, won't you?" Zach picked up Baby Snooks with a whoop of delight. "Nice job, Debi! You're a wonder, you are!"
"Oh, it was nothing! I just opened my legs and out she popped!" Debi giggled at how easy it had been. "Here, Remus, would you like to hold her? My, what big teeth you have!"
The wolf, which suddenly could stand upright, held out its front legs and began to howl a lullaby as the Vulcan turned to his twin and said "See? I told you logic had nothing to do with it - "
Debi woke with a start. Her dreams had been getting weirder and weirder lately, but this took the cake. Serenus and Severus as Vulcans? Baby Snooks?
Be glad they weren't the Wonder Twins, Deborah Anne. Be glad you aren't having twins.
She closed her eyes and tried to go back to sleep, but now she had to pee again, for about the fortieth time. Junior shifted in place as she carefully removed Zach's arm from its protective drape over her belly and heaved herself out of bed. She'd been feeling achy and slightly crampy all day, except for a few minute after Zach had come home (and just what had happened to him? He usually didn't head straight for the gin and tonic, and she wondered just what sort of oozing sores he'd seen today) and she'd managed to coax him into the least romantic, most awkward sex of her life.
At least the cramping had stopped for a while, but now her back hurt. Debi rolled her eyes and wondered if it was possible to be pregnant for the rest of her life.
She waddled to the bathroom on autopilot and switched on the light. The lights over the mirror made her belly look even larger than it was, and she shook her head at yet another kick.
"Come on, kiddo," she murmured. "Haven't you baked enough? Honestly, you'd think you didn't want to be born."
There was no answer, and she rolled her eyes as she sat down on the toilet. Baby Snooks? God, what was next?
She wiped herself and stood up, and practically groaned as warm wet trickled down her leg. Add "poor bladder control" to the list of things no one ever told you about late -
Without warning, the trickle was a flood that drenched her legs and the floor. Debi stared down at herself, then up at her reflection in the mirror.