Padma squeezed her arm around him, and he clutched her tighter, at odds with the rapid string of thoughts and emotions flying through his head. He didn't even want to think about letting her go, wanted only to feel her closer, but he didn't know how to need her, how to let himself need anything without a million doubts stirring in his gut. He had learned years ago that no good could come of wanting, still had no idea what she saw in him, but she cared that he was safe and whenever he held her he didn't feel like his skin was crawling at the touch. If anything, it felt like a drug, like an unimaginable high, and now, after what they had just been through, his defenses were shattered.
So, even though he knew he should push her away, he couldn't for the life of him think why. And when her hip pressed against his groin, he groaned softly and dropped his forehead to her shoulder, hesitantly nudging forward.