We are in receipt of your manuscript and have thoroughly reviewed it. Unfortunately, the market for cookbooks is limited at this time, and as our publishing schedule is booked through to the end of the year, we must unfortunately return it to you at this time
We would encourage you to resubmit the manuscript in January, when we anticipate several openings in our calendar....
"At least this one's telling me to resubmit," Debi said to her daughter. "I guess that's progress, isn't it?"
"Yeah!" proclaimed Junior. She hauled herself upright by grabbing Snitch's collar and pulling herself to her feet. The dog whined, gave Debi a plaintive why me? look, and sighed as Junior began smacking her neck in an attempt at petting. "Mama goo!"
"I hope that means 'Mama good,' young lady, or it's strained beets for you tonight." Debi sent the rejection letter fluttering to the wall above her desk and tacked it up with a Reversible Sticking Charm. "Well, it's quitting time. Let's get dinner started for Daddy, okay? We have it easy, working at home. He's the one who has to put up with oozing sores and stuck animagi and Uncle Hawkins - "
"Unca! Unca!" Junior waved her arms until Debi scooped her up onto her hip with an apologetic shrug at the dog. "Dada?"
"Not yet, sweetpea. He'll be home soon, and then he can read you a story before beddy-by. And maybe tomorrow we can visit Uncle Remus - Remus and Winslow, and you can play with Gaia for a little while. Would you like that?"
"Unca," said Junior. She stuck her hand in her mouth and began chewing on her own fingers as Debi settled her into her high chair and turned on the radio. "Unca Rema?"
"Just 'Remus,' darling. He's not your uncle." Debi washed her hands and summoned the cooked chicken from the refrigerator. She really did have to come up with a better name for Remus unless she wanted Junior to grow up with some really unpleasant racial stereotypes, and -
"Hello, darlings. This is Ligeia Dawson, substituting for Davina Tyson." A rich, plummy alto filled the room. "I hope everyone is having a lovely summer day. I know I have! We're harvesting the early strawberries and making the loveliest scones - "
"Ha!" Debi hacked off a chicken leg and waved it at the radio. "I tried that recipe! It tasted like you used Bisquick! And it wasn't the only one! Those squash blossom things were so bad even the dog wouldn't eat them!"
" - but first, I want to tell all of you about a wonderful opportunity for all the talented home cooks out there in Radioland!"
"Radioland? Who does she think she is, Kate Smith? Honestly!"
"Ka'smi?" said Junior.
"We're having a cooking contest! And the winner gets a thousand galleons, plus a chance to host this show!" Ligeia Dawson paused as a song about a cauldron full of love began to play in the background. "We'll have all the details right after this message from our sponsor!"
Debi stood rooted to the linoleum as advertisement for U-No-Poo began. Cooking contest? A chance to host Davina Tyson's show?
"Accio pencil and paper," she said between her teeth, and waited for the contest information. "I'll Bisquick you, you overpaid fraud!"
Junior made an approving noise and returned to chewing on her own knuckles.