InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "So... this is awkward."

mr. bucket; buckets of fun (sgt_barnesjb) wrote in snapthread,
@ 2019-09-11 11:08:00

Entry tags:

bucky barnes (mcu), clint barton (616)

WHO: Clint Barton (616) & Bucky Barnes (MCU)
WHAT: A little worried, some reassurance, just being good husbands
WHERE: The Barneston Residence (aka Tony the Goat's house)
WHEN: Evening time
RATING: I mean

Getting married in Las Vegas was quite possibly (meaning most definitely) the best thing that had ever happened to Bucky Barnes. He and Clint had been continuously building and growing something very beautiful between them in the form of a healthy, loving relationship that just worked. For people who were kind of really in need of stability and constants, having that bond to really rely on had been so reassuring and just fucking amazing. They were in love, yes, absolutely, and it was a very emotionally deep investment that Bucky hadn't really even been thinking about making until it just sort of happened. He'd seen it coming, could tell he'd been falling, and he'd made the choice to be open and honest with Clint about it rather than hide it for decades and doom it before it could become something great. They'd both put themselves out there and the pay off was so unbelievably worth it.

And the best part? They were just so ridiculously happy. They laughed; god, they laughed so much at the stupidest shit. Those deep belly laughs that kind of made it feel like you couldn't breathe and were a bit light headed. It was just so easy to smile, and anyone who knew Bucky knew that sometimes it could be like pulling teeth just to get his mouth to even twitch. They had their own sort of way of communicating, where they didn't even have to use words. Sometimes they used Sign, but other times they'd just look at each other. They'd kiss, they'd cuddle, sometimes that would lead to a lot more of that with a lot less clothing and other times he'd lead to one of them getting up to get them both something to eat while they watched some shitty Sci Fi movie or Dog Cops or whatever else was within eyesight.

Wedded Bliss was definitely a thing.

But with the ups always came some downs. Both he and Clint had been in Starklandia for a good while. They'd both seen their share of people come and go. And every time it always brought with it the sort of gross, dreadful feeling that no one's time here could really be called permanent. It also brought with it the reminder that none of them were in control of their time here, and none of them knew what happened to a person when the left. Did they die? Did they go back to where they came from? If so, did they retain the memories of this place? The people, experiences, and relationships? Bucky was really good at avoiding things, but sometimes it was hard not to think about what could happen. After everything he'd been through, Bucky was more inclined to live in the moment, but he'd have been lying if he said it hadn't scared him to death when he heard about the loss of so many from town so abruptly, and that the very first thing he did was check to make sure Clint was still there, followed by Steve and even Stark. What would he do if he lost Clint? The thought was suffocating, devastating. And while he was good at compartmentalizing his emotions, sometimes it was just too hard.

Today, it was too hard. And even though Bucky knew Clint would be home from COFFEE soon he still felt anxious. So he set about to making them both a few sandwiches while he waited for his husband to return. To be within eyesight and hopefully within arm's reach the rest of the night.

(Read comments) - (Post a new comment)

today_sucks
2019-09-11 04:31 pm UTC (link)

Some days were harder than others. That was just one of the facts about a place like this -- that sometimes even though the good was so good, the counter balance felt almost unfair. People had gone missing again -- well. Not missing, not really. It wasn't like they were going to be found or come back, and if they did it wouldn't be the same as they'd been in the first place. Clint figured they all only used the word missing because they had no real idea where people went when they disappeared from here. Which was a very stressful way of looking at it, and he sort of just hated that. Not sort of. Totally. He totally hated it.

So it was rough, and Clint was having some genuine feelings about it -- mostly for Peter who was probably his best friend in this place (because Bucky no longer counted, husbands could be best friends but they were also husbands, thank you very much) -- who was missing a few people all at once.

And, well, Clint was too, he supposed. Miles had worked for him after all, and had been sort of like an annoying younger brother too. Everything was kind of quieter and everyone was sort of tip toeing around the obvious.

The logical thing to do would be to lessen the hours that COFFEE ran -- it wasn't like there were a lot of people to serve anyway. But that felt wrong emotionally so Clint had taken it upon himself to pick up the hours that Miles would normally have worked. Asking anyone else to do more felt bad. Anyway, he got a lot of baking done -- mostly all while thinking maybe he needed to get Tony to set up like a computer thing with face time so he could like... be a paranoid weirdo and call Bucky on it to make sure he was still where he was supposed to be.

But finally, finally he was off. And Clint wasn't really ashamed to say that he ran home after locking up for the night. Or that he used the back door to get in so that he wouldn't be accosted by a goat on his way up.

(Reply to this) (Thread)

sgt_barnesjb
2019-09-11 05:41 pm UTC (link)

Being in this place was sort of like reciting wedding vows. For better, for worse, that whole thing. Bucky would still rather be there and endure whatever he had to because it meant he was going to be there with Clint. If one or both of them went back to their worlds, they weren't going to be going together and that was terrifying. Worth it, of course it was, but still terrifying. He didn't really let that get to him often because he wanted to live in the now and not focus on 'what if' scenarios. That was a rabbit hole that if gone down it was damn near impossible to come back from. But every now and then, especially when people vanished, those thoughts kind of crept up and made him worry.

When Miles disappeared, Bucky thought about offering to fill his role at COFFEE. Then he and Clint could be together far more often but that really sounded pretty desperate. Maybe he'd just offer to help. Or maybe he'd just check in sometimes during the day. That sounded more rational.

Bucky heard the sound of the back door opening and knew that was Clint. Who else would it be? There was no denying he felt relief wash over him when he heard the door close and subsequent footsteps. He wiped his hands on a kitchen wash cloth and turned around to see his husband -- fuck, he'd never get tired of thinking of Clint that way -- coming in and he couldn't help but smile. "Aren't you a sight?" He abandoned their dinner and closed the gap between them. Bucky placed both hands on the sides of Clint's face and kissed him.