InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "Ramen!"

why_is_gamora (why_is_gamora) wrote in snapthread,
@ 2019-09-11 22:13:00

Entry tags:

gamora (mcu), peter quill (mcu)

Who: Peter Quill and Gamora
What: A reboot
Where: Gamora's room in her house
When: September 11th AM

Gamora could feel the wind in her face, it wasn't like falling, not really. She didn't feel like she was moving at all, it stretched on forever and in those moments she lived her life again. The pain and the pleasure, she was born, she fell in love, she found a home and lost everything.

The last thing she saw, or she thought she saw was a stream of bubbles in the air and felt a surge of affection. There hadn't ever been a time in her life when she'd ever really been surprised by someone like she'd been surprised by Quill. Even knowing him as well as she did, his act of utter selflessness, staying true to his promise, maybe he hadn't succeeded but he'd done it and that was everything.

And then she died.

She sat up in bed with a jolt, disorientated but already with a knife in hand. But there wasn't anyone there, well except Quill pressed up against her in the slightly too small and yet perfectly sized bed. Gamora's heart raced and she elbowed him hard in the ribs. "Wake. Wake up."

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absolute_badass
2019-09-11 04:42 pm UTC (link)

Gamora's bed was technically Peter's bed in that when her room had changed to being one from a ship it was... well, it was Peter's ship and this had been Peter's room. But it was hers now and Peter had his own house just next door but sometimes, on really good nights he ended up staying here anyway and everything was perfect and familiar in a way he'd never really thought he'd get again.

Even being woken up with a sharp elbow to the ribs wasn't that uncommon, honestly, despite the fact that it still made him go all sleepy surprised and weird. "Bbzzuuh --" he blurted, eyes blinking open too fast and hand moving from where it was rested on Gamora's hip. "I didn't do it I wasn't touching!" Mind he had no idea what it was he didn't do, but it always seemed wise to plead innocence before anything else. Not that that ever worked, but Quill like the general line of reasoning behind it.

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why_is_gamora
2019-09-11 11:51 pm UTC (link)

It was disorientating to wake up dead. Well to be dead and wake up alive. Or to remember dying and saving the world and Peter's really bad dad and the music and their team and family. To see the room from their ship around them and remember it and recognize it, not just enjoy it because of its familiar dimensions and noises.

And there he was. Stupid and half asleep and assuming he was in trouble, which he mostly was so why not go with it. It didn't quite fit in her head, the remembering not remembering and the now remembering. Seeing how he'd gone so slow, given her so much room and held down his own grief and Gamora put her hand over his mouth so he wouldn't go and do something annoying like talk.

"I- I died," she said as she returned the knife to where she stashed it above their heads. "And you- you tried to save me, you tried to kill me. You actually-" what he actually was wasn't important. Because they hadn't kissed since that morning, the morning he'd lost her and she moved her hand to replace it with her lips.

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absolute_badass
2019-09-12 08:31 pm UTC (link)

Quill was kind of used to things like Gamora covering his mouth up so he couldn't go ahead and be silly at the wrong moment. He was also kinda used to her covering his mouth for other reasons too, but whenever it happened he didn't really think he was in trouble because oh man if he was, he'd get a response far more severe than all that.

But it was serious, this time. At least Quill was getting that from her expression and he tried to push the sleep away, tried to make himself not do something he'd think was hilarious like -- lick at the palm of her hand, maybe.

Which, Jesus Christ, good thing he hadn't because then she talked and --

And Peter's heart broke a little from the reminder but also felt like maybe it'd broken in his throat because how could she remember something she hadn't even lived through, yet?

It was best Gamora leaned down to kiss him because he had questions and absolutely none of them mattered or would make a difference in comparison to being allowed to do something that he hadn't been able to in -- well. Months or years, depending on timelines.

He'd missed it. Her. Even when he'd been here, sleeping in this bed.

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why_is_gamora
2019-09-12 09:01 pm UTC (link)

She didn't know, she didn't know how she could see into the future, to see everything now. It was like a movie, a movie of someone else's life but she could feel it too. The sting of her sister who turned from her again and again, the pride in her team, how she felt about Groot like he was her own child. It was complicated and actually she felt a little nauseated like it all rushed around her and she stood still.

Sleeping in bed wasn't kissing, Gamora had allowed him in their bed and in her body but she'd made it clear that she didn't want him to kiss her. It felt wrong. But not anymore. Not now she knew and not knew like someone explaining it, but knew with the fibers inside of her.

Gamora kissed him, holding his face gently in her hands. In that moment when he'd pulled the trigger she'd been ready to die and for a split second when she'd thought that's what was coming she'd seen him for everything he really was. Peter Quill was the most loyal, devoted being in the universe and Gamora didn't know what she'd done to deserve him. But there he lay and so she kissed him.

The space was small, but Gamora melted into him, in a way she hadn't been able to before like all the fight in her was simply gone.

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absolute_badass
2019-09-12 11:40 pm UTC (link)

Gamora was kissing him like how she used to -- after having traveled together for years and really having gotten to know each other. This wasn't a Gamora who was just learning to like him, or just letting him have a little bit of something just to humor him.

This. This was his Gamora.

Which was actually really confusing because, god, he'd tried so hard separating the two in his mind, had tried not ruining the memory of one by just replacing her with a newer-older model. Or however it was that time travel worked.

But -- well. Facts were facts, particularly with proof. And Peter was loathe to break away just because it'd probably devastate him if this was the only chance he got at it and then went and ruined it. But he had to. He covered her hands with his own and pulled away just a little, just to really look. "Gamora?"

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why_is_gamora
2019-09-13 11:51 am UTC (link)

And it had taken a while for Gamora to get to kissing. Sure she could have, she knew how to do it. But to want to. It was intimate in a way she had to be ready for and she hadn't been until all of a sudden she had been. Because Quill made her crazy, about eight kinds of crazy and Gamora absolutely loved him and now she remembered all the reasons why.

He'd always looked at her in a way that felt like too much. Like he saw her as more than she was capable of being, like he saw things that weren't there and she'd resisted for so long. Both of her, then and now. When Peter pulled away and said her name he just looked so damn hopeful.

"I was also Gamora before," she reminded him, but she gave a slight nod of her head. Leaning in she butted her head lightly against his, affectionate for her. "I died, I don't know how I'm here I- hello," Gamora said with a little tick of a smile.

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absolute_badass
2019-09-15 02:20 am UTC (link)

"You're always Gamora," Peter agreed in a rush of breath, because he never wanted her to think he liked one more than the other even if both were her.

But he had, and that was -- well. It'd been years of being together and all that. And he'd have done it all over again without complaint because no one else got chances like this. Not really. Peter hadn't wanted to waste it or to be stupid about it.

Now there was this though. "Hi," he said, and it was such a short little word, but his voice broke on it anyway and he couldn't stop himself, had to reach up and put his fingers through her hair. "I fucked up. Gamora. I'm sorry. I -- hi."

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why_is_gamora
2019-09-17 10:35 am UTC (link)

Quill's voice broke, so much feeling there that he couldn't say one word without it fracturing into beautiful little pieces. He was just so damn earnest and Gamora had found it annoying, always found it that way really. But there were times and this was one of them that it was allowed and she wouldn't scoff at him about it.

She covered his mouth again, this time just with her fingers gently across his lips. "Shhh," Gamora said and it was soft, forgiving. Because things happened, feelings happened and he'd done the best that he could. Everyone had.

"I died," Gamora said again and this time it was the reason, the cause of his grief and his mistakes. "And not the way we wanted me to, not where I belonged."

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absolute_badass
2019-09-18 02:46 am UTC (link)

It was barely even a word she said, but it wasn't hard to hear the forgiveness in it, see it in her expression and it had all the tension seeping out of Peter in just a tiny amount of time. It felt -- it was such a relief to know that she hadn't died bitter with him. He'd worried. Even if their last words to each other had been proclamations of love -- it. Well. He had messed up. In more than a few places. He'd blamed himself for a lot of things, and wouldn't have been shocked if other people did, too.

But here she was. Saying it was okay.

"I told you to go right," Quill murmured. But that wouldn't have changed anything -- they shouldn't have sought out to end Thanos on their owns. They'd walked right into his trap and it had been the beginning of the end. They should have known better. "I'm sorry," he said, and this time it wasn't an apology for himself, but for what she'd been through. "That you were alone."

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why_is_gamora
2019-09-18 10:45 pm UTC (link)

It was an awful thing to remember. The ground rushing up to meet her, the swoop in her stomach. It hadn't hurt, over so fast there was no time for pain. But those long moments knowing what she was leaving behind, the evil and the misery. No good came from her death, she'd achieved nothing, succeeded in nothing. Gamora closed her eyes a moment, just to blink it away, to firmly plant herself in now where her father was dead and she was not a trophy of his love and power.

But there had been something so intensely comforting knowing the lengths Peter was willing to go for her. The sacrifice of living with her blood on his hands and she'd had that, right at the end.

She leaned over him and her hair fell around his face in a curtain as she leaned down to kiss him again. "We didn't know what else to do," Gamora assured him gently.

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absolute_badass
2019-09-19 02:56 am UTC (link)

Of course he would have made that sacrifice. He'd have hated himself for it every day, probably. But it'd been what she'd asked for, what he'd promised her. And he'd have done it. He'd tried doing it.

The only thing that made Peter feel worse than the idea of doing what Gamora had asked was not doing what she asked.

That'd sat with him. For a long time.

But maybe it'd lift a bit now. With this-- well. With Gamora. Because kissing her felt like forgiveness more than her words did even, a revelation. And he melted into it, tucked her hair behind her ears and kept his fingers tangled in all the rest of it. "And now?" He asked, soft. "What do we do now?"

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why_is_gamora
2019-09-20 10:59 am UTC (link)

Other people would have promised, they would have sworn it and when it came down to it they wouldn't have been able to do it. But Peter? Peter could do it. For no other reason but for her, to save her from further suffering, to do as she'd asked. That kind of love wasn't something normal people ever got to experience. But they weren't exactly normal.

It was strange, this place and all it was and wasn't. She knew more now, more than she had any business knowing and it had brought them closer.

After what felt like lifetimes apart they melted together, his mouth soft against her own. "Now? Well we move your things in here," Gamora said as she glanced around. "And you with them."

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absolute_badass
2019-09-22 03:08 pm UTC (link)

He hadn't wanted to do it. But he would have. Had tried to. Had hated himself and that fucking reality store for forever now, because it'd gone and fucked everything up and he should have expected it. He really should have.

But. It felt a little less important now that she was here. And somehow pleased with his work, as if he hadn't failed spectacularly. It'd always been a little hard to tell when Gamora was going to approve of his behavior though, so maybe he'd just take her at her word about it for now.

"Oh," he said quietly, feeling rather pleased with that response. Because it'd been about what he wanted since forever. At least since she'd shown him around town, pointed out the empty house next to hers. "Well," he said, leaning up a little more to press their lips together again. He'd never get enough of that. "Maybe we can wait a while on packing. Since we're already here."

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