InsaneJournal

Who: Steve Rogers and Tony Stark
What: Epic terrible things
Where: Steve's Gym
When: After this


Steve's head felt like it was going to split down the middle. It was almost an overload of information and it was confusing, trying to rectify what had been with with what was now. All of a sudden there was years there, years he remembered living that when he'd woken up this morning hadn't been there. The support group, the world without Bucky and everyone he cared for so deeply. All that time spent with Natasha, slowly going insane trying to fix it. Going back in time, seeing Peggy and not being able to speak to her. The suffering, the battle, the loss and then the victory.

But at what cost?

It all crammed itself into his awareness, a tragedy that he could do nothing about because it was done and here he was simply remembering. There was that rushing sound in his ears, the sound of far away gunfire and the world got blurry at the edges. Trauma seeped into reality and Steve sat on the edge of the elevated boxing ring, his hands shaking.

He wanted to move, to yell, to do something but nothing came. Steve felt the world shift, a sting as his knees hit the ground and he reached out toward Tony's face. Only to have it turn to dust, blowing away with a soft breeze. He knew he wasn't there, they weren't there but knowing and seeing and what he felt were all such different things. Like how he always heard gunfire, even if there wasn't always a gun. It played from a memory, back when he'd still practically been a boy.

Steve's nails dug into the wood of the floor, splintering under the pressure. Morgan and Pepper and a life left behind, it was all too much and then on top of it all? Steve had been the one to ask him to come back, had practically sacrificed him. Guilt and grief coiled in his gut until he was sure he was going to be sick and all the while the soft sound of gunfire tickled his ear.