The wooden floor was always going to have scratch marks in it now, Steve's nails having dragged across it. Like a living memory of the trauma. He'd been through so much, they both had and darn it Steve felt like they deserved more than what they'd been given. Steve had never told him how he felt, never got to feel the softness of his mouth or the strength of his thighs, all of the things he now loved with his entire being.
Losing Tony felt so real, that it was almost a surprise to hear him there, even if he'd known he was coming. Steve wanted to argue, the floor wasn't a good place to be, but it felt like the only place he could be right now. He looked up at him, Tony's face not blackened around the edges, his reactor bright and Steve reached up to lay his shaking hand over the light.
"I'm so sorry, I- I'm so fucking sorry for everything. You deserve so much better," Steve choked out, moving forward on his knees to press his face to his stomach.