They were in the same boat, Steve knew the reason hearing about Natasha hurt so badly was because he'd loved Bucky all his life. He was jealous, but he was also mourning for something that would never be. They'd missed their chance, their epic love story that had crossed time and the world wide wasn't meant to be and if it was, well it was lifetimes away. It was heartbreaking, but Steve was used to that, sometimes it felt like his heart had been fracturing slowly, more with each passing loss.
That night sitting alone drinking after losing him, even though it hadn't worked, Steve had pictured his face in his head, those beautiful eyes and longed for him. But as long as they had each other, some version then really that's what mattered. They were going in two different directions, Steve had built something with Tony over the years that Bucky had been gone and that was important but he wasn't about to sacrifice his family for it.
Why couldn't they have it all?
Their foreheads came together and Steve felt the fight drain out of him, leaving his stomach empty and a hollowness to him. Anger was easier, he rarely gave into the temptation of it, but there was no denying that it helped the hurt. Because he loved her and both of them were going to have to watch the other find happiness with someone else when it had alluded them both and it was going to be hard, maybe harder than anything they'd had to go through together. "Never with you," Steve agreed as his hand came up to rest on his neck, mirroring the other man.
There was a long moment, where the pain peaked, like it was a tangible thing between them Steve could reach out and grab. But instead he tilted his head slightly to one side and their lips met in something soft but fierce. It said everything Steve couldn't, about love and loss and hurt just like the bullet to the gut had all those years ago. Kissing Tony had been like the start, this on the other hand felt like the end of a chapter, it felt like goodbye.