The thing was, there were parts Steve would do differently if he could. Yes he would still protect Bucky at all costs and he'd still do what he believed was right. But not telling Tony the truth? That had never sat well with him. He'd thought at the time it was the only way and maybe that was because he'd doubted their bond, the strength of their connection and half truths had seemed the only way. But maybe he'd been wrong, maybe he could have gone to him with the truth and they'd have weathered it. It was too late now to know. To say sorry just felt lacking, Tony knew he was sorry, the problem was that it had happened in the first place and how they both felt now didn't seem relevant.
They'd been healing though, taking time together in the quiet like they used to. Steve enjoyed Tony's company more than most, liked to sit beside him drawing something and listening to the sound of him working. Steve washed Tony's shirts with his own, brought coffee and thing were, well they'd been something new. Like a sprout that was now threatened by an incoming hurricane.
Tony's body went wonderfully pliant and Steve let out a soft noise, relief maybe, or fear it was hard to tell.
"I know, I-" he what? Steve breathed deep and Tony smelled wonderful, of spice and engine grease and he'd never let himself have this before, neither of them had and Steve let his thumb move on his chest, stroking back and forth. "I should have been there with you."