No. With one word the game they were playing where no one talked about it, where they pretended there was nothing to talk about shattered. Steve swallowed again, breathing out slowly through his nose. No. Steve had gone and Tony had been alone, he'd done this to both of them. Part of him felt like it was for the best, that Tony deserved Pepper and a baby and a life, because Steve? Well everything he brought to the table tended to end in loss.
There was a long pause, deafening silence falling over them before Steve moved. Tony's back was warm against his chest and Steve wrapped around him, his hand coming around to rest on his chest where the reactor had been. They were both tired, they were both so tired and Steve held to him tighter than might have been strictly comfortable.
"I was waiting for you," Steve told him and the words caught and pulled at his insides but he forced them anyway. Sometimes you had to get it out, like poison. Until then they'd been keeping it on the inside, just hoping to live with it. Maybe that wasn't working anymore.