It definitely got stupider. Sirius wanted to think that maybe it got stupidest, but he wasn't actually sure.
Somewhere along the way he stopped really processing how stupid it all was and started registering just how horrifying and bad it was, instead. He wanted to protest that he wouldn't, that he'd never suspect Remus to be anything other than what he was but -- well. Actually, it made sense. The last thing he'd be able to handle was his best friend lying and keeping secrets from him. Especially in so trying a time. It'd sink into his bones, something like that. The heartbreak of it, and the feeling of being left out. Remus didn't hide things, wasn't supposed to anyway. They'd picked him as their favorite. Sirius had picked him as his favorite. Something special and different than the brother that James was to him.
And --
It was
Too much.
His eyes felt bothered, like they were too hot, or there was something in them and Sirius had to blink rapidly to get that something out, or maybe keep something in. He didn't know what to say. It was too heavy. And he -- he didn't know what to say.
"No -- he didn't. What do you mean gone," he said, but it wasn't really a question because he wasn't stupid. He simply could not imagine a world that didn't have James and Lily in it. And he could not imagine a world where he and Remus had not been together enough to stop something like that happening in the first place. "Who," he asked, because there was more than dread mounting at the back of his throat and in his eyes. Watching Remus cry was nearly enough to push him over an edge he hadn't known existed before now. "Who was it. Who was the keeper, Remus?"