James. There was no one else in the world he wouldn't correct if they referred to him that way. Not her. She'd called him James before he even knew he had a name. Back then, he was Soldat, the Asset, or just simply, you. He didn't have an identity because they'd stripped him of it. No name, no soul, no heart. Natasha -- Natalia had given him all three back. She'd made him feel like a person, not just a weapon. She'd awakened things in him, restored the capacity for him to feel emotion and act on it. And fuck, he'd loved her so much. Bucky knew it now, he knew he'd loved her with every beat of his heart and breath in his lungs. It was real, raw, passionate love that words couldn't really do justice.
Like her, he'd tried not to dwell upon it too much because there wasn't really any good to come from that. He hadn't had as long of a time to stew and process it, as his memories were still fresh. Those feelings hadn't had the chance to simmer and bury themselves in the deeper parts of his heart. They were, however, clouded with guilt. He'd hurt her, terribly. What must it have felt like for her in Odessa? For him to look her in the eye, feel absolutely nothing, and fire a shot right through her stomach to hit his target? How could it have felt for her to take a bullet to the shoulder, then turn to look him in the eye again knowing if Steve hadn't intervened he absolutely would've taken a kill shot at her? How had it felt when he'd nearly choked the life out of her when Zemo triggered the Winter Soldier? When no, he didn't recognize her then. Fuck, he should have. He should've known.
There'd been a moment, when she was stalling T'Challa and allowing him and Steve passage, where he thought she'd met his eyes. She'd been talking to Steve, but it'd felt at the time that maybe she'd been talking to him too. He hadn't understood it then; but he got it now. And it weighed heavily on his heart.
"Danvers might not have taken too kindly to me coming through the hole in the wall," he said, but stopped short of any other witty remarks because she was moving toward him and before he knew it, she was hugging him.
It felt like the wind was knocked from him. Bucky had shared hugs with Steve plenty of times. But no one else. Clint, most recently, had gotten away with clapping his shoulder. But no one else really ever got that close. No one but her. He took a shaky breath, and without even giving it a second thought his arms were around her, embracing her as his eyes fell shut and he hid his face in her hair.
"God, Natalia," he whispered. "I remember this, you. How we fit."