Peter Parker (idontfeelsogood) wrote in snapthread, @ 2019-04-01 21:56:00 |
|
|||
Entry tags: | dick grayson, peter parker (mcu) |
WHO: Dick and Peter
WHAT: Heavy Conversations
WHERE: Heroes Con
WHEN: April 1st
RATING: Lowish
So the con was...a con. Dick managed to somehow grab a hotel room at the venue which meant his credit card worked in this universe so some version of himself was going to have a very confusing bill. More than likely no one was going to notice it or some version of Bruce was and then just not say anything, because yeah that was on brand for him. He hoped it was. The last thing he wanted was some cops coming to find him for identity theft of...himself.
Either way, he was feeling...tired, honestly. Tired and even more like he missed his family. Steph and Jay would’ve had jokes about all of this. Tim would’ve been looking at construction and how people improvised things and had a blast with it even if he wasn’t saying as much aloud. Damian would’ve revelled in telling everyone how wrong they were and basking in his superiority complex. Babs would’ve been so heartened to see the all the batgirls running around.
He leaned against a pillar, still in his sexy Robin costume, people watching the foyer down below. Home. He missed home and he knew he wasn’t allowed to show it for a second to Peter or anyone else because he...he had to be the strong, confident charming one who had endless optimism for everyone. There was a Spider-Man in a different uniform to Peter’s break dancing, a crowd cheering him on. He could be sad and vulnerable for a little bit. There was no one here to see him for him.
---
Peter had gotten a great deal of compliments on his ‘costume’. That had been weird enough, but then there was seeing ten different versions of Spider-Man, it had made Peter wonder if he was starting to lose his mind. Of course, the more he walked around the floor the more it began to sink in that he was indeed at a con and all the different versions of him were just fans. Peter had been tempted to photobomb a few Spider-Man selfies, just to make a show of himself, but he decided against it in favor of oohing and aahing over the merch.
That quickly got old when he discovered that he didn’t have any money on him.
After that he wandered around a bit, eventually spotting Dick and heading up the nearby stairs to join him. “Uh, hey there. Cool cosplay. What are you supposed to be?”
---
Dick was quick to shove his emotions off his face and back into a box, burying them for Peter (and this one was very obviously Peter, not like the other forty Spider-Men he’d seen that day.) He smiled a little. “Sexy Robin,” he said, turning for him. “I know, I know. I should’ve shaved my legs for this.”
---
“Nah, you don’t have to conform. Shaving your legs is just a thing razor companies came up with to sell razors to women, I’m pretty sure I read that in one of my media classes.” He was smiling under his mask. He tried to casually lean against the railing but was pretty sure he looked stupid. “You look great though. And you mean like your Robin thing and not like some sexy bird thing, right?”
---
“Yeah, but everyone likes having nice smooth, soft legs sometimes,” Dick said, managing a laugh. He nodded. “This is a variation of the version of the uniform my sister wore when she was Robin. Seemed only right to take the objectification bullet for her even if she’s not here.”
---
Peter looked him over a moment or two before looking down at the floor and people below. “You miss them a lot, huh? Is this making it worse?”
Aside from the Spider-Men, Peter had seen quite a few of the people he ‘knew’ wandering around. It had felt like a tiny punch to the gut every time he saw a face he was supposed to know but didn’t really. He couldn’t imagine Dick felt any better. At least Peter had the benefit of Tony and some of the other Avengers, Dick was alone.
---
Of course Peter would be perceptive enough to know what he wasn’t saying. He followed his gaze. The Red Hood from earlier was back. There was an Arsenal with him too now and both of them were jumping into what was now a dance battle with the Spider-Man. “Yeah,” he said quietly, knowing he didn’t need to be loud for Peter to hear him.
---
He looked back to Dick, feeling brave enough to pull off his mask. “I’m sorry. It’s rough. Missing people and then- Well, this. This isn’t great, huh? Do you wanna try getting out of here or whatever? I’ve not tried a door yet. Maybe some outside air will help?”
---
“Turns out my credit card still works here and I was charming enough to grab one of the rooms still available because no one here wanted to pay fuck it money for it,” Dick said. “Or they did and then didn’t show. I don’t know. Upstairs?”
---
Peter pushed himself off the railing and nodded, pulling his mask back on since they were moving. “Upstairs sounds great. Less of that con funk up there hopefully.”
---
Dick nodded, pulling his key card out of the front of his costume as they headed to the elevators, swiping it to get to his floor when they got in.
--
“Ooh, fancy.” Peter said, leaning back against one of the walls once the elevator started going up. “So, uh, Dick. You know you can talk to me, right? You don’t have to bottle up or whatever.”
He knew he wasn’t good at this but he was trying his best. He didn’t like knowing Dick was all torn up when Dick’s face was the perfect, unbothered mask of kindness and friendliness that it always was.
--
Dick looked down at his feet, at the pixie boots that were so close to being right if it weren’t for the several inches of heel on them. “In the room,” he said finally. Not now. Not here where anyone else might walk in. “Okay?”
---
“Yeah, sure, man. Whatever you need.” Peter nodded, knowing it would probably be easier for Dick when he was looking at Peter’s real face and not a mask. Something about pouring his heart out to a mask like that felt wrong and more than a little disrespectful.
---
Dick squeezed Peter’s shoulder. They had a lot to talk about anyway. His hurt was only part of it, he was sure. The elevator came to a stop and he walked down the hall to his room, unlocking it and stepping aside to let Peter in first. Wayne money put to good use, right?
---
“Even more fancy.” He said, pulling off his mask as soon as he was inside, trying hard not to marvel at every little thing. Maybe it was wrong of him to try to lift the mood, it felt like what Dick would do though and that seemed like a good lead to follow most of the time. “Super, incredible fancy.”
---
Dick snorted a little laugh, sitting down to get out of the shoes. His calves were not going to be pleased about this in the morning. “What do you want me to talk about?” he asked, getting up to get his stupid costume off, glad he was flexible to contort out of it easily enough. He needed his t-shirt and the Avengers pyjama shorts he got.
--
“Whatever you feel comfortable telling me.” He said, heading over to one of the beds so he could flop down on it. “Oh man, can we keep this? This is nice. Just gonna stay right here forever.”
Of course he did eventually roll over onto his back, looking up at the ceiling, deciding then that he would probably never be able to afford a ceiling like that, let alone a bed like the one under him. “Anyway, I’m here, you know? If you wanna talk. You just seem like you could use an ear or whatever.”
--
Properly changed, Dick went and sat on the edge of the second bed. It was much quieter and much cooler up in the room, no trace at all of the con going on downstairs and outside.
He started to say something and then stopped, clearly thought about it and waited a moment before trying again.
“I think we should get us sorted before the rest of it,” he said quietly, keeping that respectful distance between them.
---
“Oh.” Peter sat up quickly, eyes wide as he cleared his throat. He felt anxious, he really couldn’t explain why when everything else had felt so easy but it took a lot of concentration to keep himself still. “Sure, you’re right. We should be sorted.”
---
“You know I’m not...not trying to pressure or manipulate you into anything at all, right?” he asked, swallowing a lump in his throat. “That I’m not… That youth and innocence aren’t things I fetishize or anything, right?” Those first days in the place (he refused to call it by Tony’s ridiculous name,) were so empty and lonely and honestly terrifying. He’d told himself that it was a connection that had developed naturally for them out of all the trauma and uncertainty. Of all the glimpses of himself he saw in Peter. That they had so much in common despite being from such different worlds.
---
“I mean, I’m still technically a minor so there is like a clear power imbalance even if we were just friends.” They were more than that though, the way they touched and looked at each other. “But you like me for me, I get that. You’d like me no matter how old I was. I mean, if you were like taking advantage or whatever you probably wouldn’t listen when I say no sex yet.”
He shrugged, “I don’t think about the age difference all the time, but it does come up.”
---
“I don’t care about sex that much,” Dick said, “and honestly it’s...it’s refreshing not to be used for my body for once, y’know? To not have that be a...a thing on the table and just be allowed to be close.” He’d said it at the beginning. Everything at Peter’s pace. If it took years, it took years. If it was never, he was fine with that too.
“It’s no secret how Tony feels about me,” he said. The conversation they’d had in full view of everyone was example enough. “But I can’t exactly come out and say to him ‘Hey, I’ve been shouldering the emotional weight of the doom and gloom of Gotham and her heroes since I was ten.’ Or that I’ve been through that kind of predation over and over again without it sounding like I’m trying to deflect or make excuses.” He kept his gaze on the floor. Easier that way.
---
Peter scooted himself closer until he was sitting across from Dick, eventually reaching out to touch his knee in an effort to show him a little support. “I love Mr. Stark, you know? He changed my life. Does what he can to be a good father figure and role model, but he isn’t actually my dad, you know? He doesn’t get a say. Well, I mean, he’ll give me his opinion or whatever, but in my personal life, he’s not like legally responsible for me.”
He shrugged, “I mean, he’s just trying to look out for me. At the end of the day you’re both trying to do that. I think he’d come around if he got to know you, if he got to see us together and see that nothing is really going on and that you’re not trying to groom me.”
---
Dick took a deep breath and nodded, meeting those warm brown eyes. “I mean, we’ve already acknowledged that this...that there’s a thing here.” A thing between two people who had been through so much so young, who felt like they had a responsibility to keep everyone around them as happy as they could. He wasn’t touching Peter back, yet, not until they were fully on the same page and not just somewhere in the same chapter.
“You don’t...you don’t have to call me man and treat me like one of the boys or something, y’know? It...it just adds to making this feel like something we need to bury and be ashamed of.” He looked down again. “I don’t want to do wrong by you, Peter. Not now, not ever. It’s just...it’s hard to...to be so alone. To have no one here who knows me that I can just make those kinds of quick references to shared experiences with or...or anything like that and I’m not like begrudging you having those connections. Not at all. I’m glad you do. I’m glad you’ve got family and friends and that kind of potential support network absolutely. But I’ve got no one. Just shadows of my family wandering around downstairs and I miss them so much.”
He put his face in hand, trying to compose himself. He had no one and the person most important to Peter there probably thought he was some kind of monster. It wasn’t exactly a recipe for emotional wellbeing.
---
“I don’t know if you want to hear this or not, but you’ve got me and maybe you could try reaching out to more people? I know it’s exhausting, but who knows how long we’re gonna be stuck in that place with the name nobody seems to like. Maybe open yourself up to making a new family? And you never know, maybe someone you know will turn up.”
He shrugged, “I- I don’t know what I’m supposed to say otherwise, that’s all I’ve got, Dick. I’m sorry.”
---
Peter had asked him to talk about the things that were bothering him, the things that hurt. So he did. He swallowed hard, doing his best to keep his voice as calm as possible. “You can look at Tony and Steve and whoever else from your timeline right and just have this shared understanding of your world and your experiences in it. Of how that world works. What I’m saying is that it’s hard not having that for myself. Making a new family is all fine and great and I’m doing my best on that front, but the new doesn’t make up for the absence of the old, y’know? Looking at Tony doesn’t make me alternately wish Bruce was here and be just a little bit bitter and annoyed that Bruce wasn’t half as protective over me as he clearly should’ve been and didn’t bother getting protective over anyone until Jason died and Babs ended up in a wheelchair and that through it all I was the one who had to fucking hold everything together.
“Or that his inability to communicate got Steph brutally tortured and his decision was to just fake her death for years so she could recover in peace while we all had to mourn her because he couldn’t be bothered to at least let the people who love her know that she wasn’t fucking dead. Or that I’ve spent the past...it doesn’t matter how long being Batman because Gotham needs one and he got caught through time and I was doing that while trying to raise a psychopathic child he fathered and took no responsibility for into being something of a decent person because his mother sure as shit wasn’t only for him to just show back up and decide he was going to be dad now and to do anything but be ashamed that the only person among us who had the fucking balls to not only call him on his bullshit but actually clock him one for it was Steph and-”
Dick cut himself off and shook his head again, needing a minute to catch his breath so he didn’t start sobbing.
“And it’s just me when I should be there. With them. And instead of that I’m sitting here being quietly jealous of everyone else here who has someone from home even though I know it’s stupid and ridiculous and I should be more mature than this.” It felt so much like the one time he really, really needed his family he was just...alone. Because Gotham wanted the shadows, not the sun.
---
Peter wanted to reach across the distance between them and hug Dick.
He needed love and support and the comfort of knowing he wasn’t alone. A hug should have worked, maybe a long one if Dick was willing and if they had the time for it. But that was part of the problem.
Peter didn’t hug Dick. Peter didn’t think he wanted that, not with the way he didn’t respond to his touch before.
He blinked a few times, mostly trying to hold back what tears he felt coming. “You’re not being immature, Dick.” He said softly, swallowing hard after. “It- It’s hard not to want something everyone else seems to have, especially when you want it so badly. There’s nothing wrong with wanting a connection or the people you love. You can let yourself be sad about it, it’s okay to feel serious stuff.”
---
It was funny really. The sad sort of funny, not the actual kind. Dick spoke ten languages fluently, two more passably and still couldn’t seem to get what he was trying to say across. Words clearly weren’t working for them.
He leaned forward, closing the distance between them to kiss Peter softly- the same kind of goodbye kiss he’d given too many times before.
After it broke, he pressed his forehead to Peter’s for a moment in silent thanks for his attempts and then got up to go into the bathroom.
---
Peter watched Dick leave, all wide-eyed and worried. The kiss had been sweet but sad in a way that Peter couldn’t put into words. Not that words would have been easy anyway, not with the way he felt his throat trying to close up and all the swallowing in the world didn’t seem to help.
Softly, he sniffed and ran a hand over his face, a little surprised not to feel any tears on his hand or cheek. He cleared his throat and spoke again before Dick closed the door. “What should I do? I don’t know how to help.”
---
Dick’s fingers rested gently on the door knob. “The person most important to you here thinks I’m a predator. And, y’know, I get it. But he’s also the person here who seems to be most connected and with influence and ego enough to name the place after himself. Ask yourself, Peter. Whose word would they believe? Yours or his?” Dick looked down at the couple pale scars on the back of his hand. “If he wanted to ruin me, he could. Whether it was the truth or not and I get the feeling he’d do everything in his power to protect you if he believed that’s what he was doing. I am alone and vulnerable in this place. He wins.”
---
“I don’t think he’d do that, Dick.” Peter said, another swallow and his throat started to feel a little less upset. “I know he cares about me, but I don’t think he’d try to ruin you. I- Not to be all pragmatic about it, cause that isn’t me, but he really couldn’t afford to do that. There’s not enough of us that he can start throwing people away. Not that he would, he’s more reasonable than that. Sure, he’ll worry and frown or glare like any father-figure would, but I don’t see him doing something that horrible.”
It was now his turn to look at the floor and give a small shrug, “I- Is this really just about Mr. Stark?”
---
“To him, I have nothing at all to contribute. To him, I’m pretty sure I’m less than dirt. All he’d have to do is wait until I go through a door on my own to scavenge for things and just make sure that door never opens again and bam. Gone. No more problem. No more danger. I’m just some guy in a town full of people with super powers, which really I’m more than used to being, but I don’t matter to him in the slightest and if I’m someone he perceives as putting you in any kind of harm then the zero he decides I’m doing for this place means that’s another mouth to feed or body to keep warm that he doesn’t have to worry about.” Yeah, okay he knew that was Bruce level paranoia, but he’d grown up with it.
“I know how men like him work, Peter,” he whispered. “I was raised by one. Stark. Wayne. Same bullshit different universe.” He didn’t need to have said a word to Tony to know how things were probably going to play out.
“What else do you think it’s about?”
---
“You don’t know Mr. Stark.” He said, sighing softly. “I’m sorry, this Bruce guy sounds really awful. I’m sorry you had to grow up the way you did,” Dick didn’t tell him much of anything but there were clues in what he did choose to tell him. “But Mr. Stark is not him. He doesn’t think the same way, he wouldn’t do that kind of thing. He’s not the same. I think you’d see that if you took some time and got to know him.”
Peter frowned, “I- It feels a little like maybe you’re a little more worried about the age thing than you’re saying. Like you’re scared, like maybe making Mr. Stark the bad guy is easier for you than thinking about whatever little voice in the back of your head is telling you that you’re turning around and doing the same thing someone did to you. You’re not a bad guy, Dick. You’re not doing me harm. Mr. Stark isn’t going to hurt you.”
---
“Bruce isn’t awful,” he said, “He’s not. And I’d defend him the same way you are Tony.” Dick looked back at him. “And there’s no point in trying to get buddy buddy with him when it’s painfully obvious he doesn’t want anything to do with me.” Tony absolutely would do that to him. He was sure of it. He didn’t need to be a world class detective to see that.
He shook his head. There wasn’t any point in having this fight.
“I’ll move house when we get back.”
---
Peter fell a lot. It was part of swinging. Since the bite he didn’t feel that stomach drop anymore like most people did when they pulled a few Gs or caught some air. For the first time since the bite, he felt his stomach and all the rest of him, drop out from under him and he was glad he was already sitting down.
He took a deep breath and then another.
Eventually he was breathing fine again but he still felt like he’d been kicked hard in the chest. He did eventually look up and in the direction of Dick, not getting higher than his hip before he felt a tear roll down his cheek too quick for him to wipe away. “I thought the point was making an effort for the sake of whatever this is- Whatever this was.”
He cleared his throat and grabbed his mask, getting up to his feet. “Don’t worry about moving. I- I’ll just go move in with Mr. Stark and Cap, they’ve wanted me to stay close since we met back up.”
---
Dick hated this part. He hated it so much. Every last one of his relationships broken and ruined by his own… He didn’t know what to call it anymore. Jay would have a good name for it. And probably also a very firm smack upside the head.
“I love you,” he whispered, letting his own tears fall freely now. “I love you and I can’t let myself be a monster but here we are. What am I supposed to do, Peter? Not recognize the twelve kinds of fucked up power dynamics inherent in all of this? Ignore the feeling in my gut that tells me he absolutely will hurt me one day because nothing about this world feels better than waking up with my nose in your hair and your fingers refusing to let me go right away?”
---
He wiped his cheek before finally getting his eyes as high as Dick’s shoulders. “Maybe we need to change things a little. I- I really like our morning cuddles and all that. They’re the best. But maybe it would be better if we didn’t live together? I mean, maybe we need a little buffer or something, something to show you and everybody else that we do have self-control and that you’re not taking advantage of me. We- We’d still spend time together as much as we could, but no one could accuse you of taking over my life.”
Another sniff, “I think if you got to know him, maybe you’d not be so worried about him and he wouldn’t have a reason to be the person you think he is. I just- I thought it was worth trying, cause I love you too, you know?”
---
“We live next door to them, Pete,” he said. “I can’t- If we stop this, I can’t stay that close to him.” He swallowed. “I mean shit, he’s already practically banned you from going exploring with me anywhere. What makes you think going to live with him isn’t going to make him more strict? I- Fuck, listen to me…” He shook his head. “See? Terrible human being Dick Grayson. He’s right. The only way I get out of this safely is if I let you go, but if I let you go I lose the one person who can look at me and actually see.”
---
“He didn’t ban me from anything. He didn’t give me an order, demand, command or anything. He asked if I would stick around more and I agreed, not because I’m some kind of obedient little soldier, cause I’m not. If you asked him, he’d tell you that I don’t really listen to a word he says at least when he thinks he’s trying to help me. I agreed because, well, how do you tell the man who held you in his arms as you turned to dust that you care more about playing around in some post-apocalyptic worlds than you do about the obvious anxiety he has.” He briefly glanced up at Dick’s face. “I want him to be okay, you know? Maybe he’s not been okay since even before he had to build that suit and save himself, but if I can help his anxiety instead of adding to it, I feel like I should do that.”
He finally closed the distance between them and wrapped his arms around him, resting his head against his chest. “Being with you is different than sticking around a little more, you know? I don’t think he cares as much about you and I as you think, but if he does, the only way he’s
gonna know that he’s being unreasonable is if he gets to know you. And you’re great, Dick. I mean it. You’re the best person I know.”
---
Dick rested his nose in Peter’s hair, trying to let his closeness calm him. “You turned to dust in his arms,” he said softly, all too clearly remembering all the times he’d seen Batman carrying another fallen friend regardless of whether they stayed dead or not. “And now you’re back and you’re with someone that he doesn’t like the idea of.” He was sure Peter could follow the rest of that train of thought just fine.
“And he has lived his life as a very wealthy, powerful white man. One who gets his way one way or another.” Another pause as he tried to focus on the smell of Peter’s hair and the warmth of his embrace. “And I have never been allowed to forget that I am none of those things.”
---
“He wouldn’t like the idea of anyone, no matter who they were.” Peter pointed out. “The only way he would grow to like anyone I like is if he was giving time and opportunity to know them. Why would he like anyone who wasn’t willing to try? He thinks I’m special, he wants everyone else to think that too.”
He tilted his head up a little, “He won’t care that you’re not white, he won’t even be able to tell.” Because Peter hadn’t, or so he was implying. “Money doesn’t mean anything now, not for the way we have to live. Sure, he’s super smart and all that, but outside of his suit, he’s still just a person like you. He’s even funny like you, sometimes, you know?”
---
He thinks I’m special, he wants everyone else to think that too. God, that sounded a great deal like someone who was being groomed and Dick couldn’t look at Peter.
“It doesn’t matter that money doesn’t matter here, look at him, Peter. The cultural implication is all still there. The social status he has he’s clearly carrying with him. He’s a rich white man who gets what he wants. I’m a Roma circus boy who had my parents murdered by a man like him and then my culture taken away from me by another.” All things he never would’ve dared to admit out loud to any of his siblings, because that wasn’t his place. He had to be the shield between them and Bruce, the peacekeeper. The good son.
He pressed his lips tightly together and looked away. He never should’ve said that and now there was no taking any of it back. No burying it.
“Tony might not have personally wronged me,” yet, “but he was the one who met me with hostility first, Peter. He’s the one who made it very clear where he stood. Don’t put the onus on the one of us without any power in the situation to be the one who builds the bridge. I can’t. I’m sorry. These shoulders can’t carry any more weight.”
Why was Tony allowed to be broken and anxious and he wasn’t?
----
“You don’t think I’m going to say the same thing to him?” He frowned a little. “It has to be mutual. You both have to be willing. Maybe I don’t understand everything you went through but I do understand how you could be afraid of him even though he hasn’t done anything wrong.” He wouldn’t add or even think a ‘yet’. He didn’t believe Tony ever would.
“I don’t know how to tell you that he isn’t the man you think he is in a way that you’ll believe.” Peter admitted. “But maybe if you were just open to the idea, just open to it, that’s all, maybe we can all get what we need.”
---
Oh so very much of the way Peter was phrasing things about Tony sounded like someone in an abusive relationship trying to convince their friends that everything was okay and their partner really wasn’t all that bad. Look at the fancy clothes he got for him! How could someone so caring be bad? Look, see, neat gadgets. Gifts and things to buy affection and have tangible proof of care.
And Dick had done enough trauma work and helping people to know that he couldn’t just point that out.
“I don’t trust him,” he said. “I don’t trust him. I don’t like him. This is on him. If he wants to make nice, he’s welcome to try, but I’m not doing outreach to him.”
He kissed Peter’s forehead. “If we’re going to do this together, this you and me thing, we can’t be hiding like there’s something to be ashamed of. I don’t want to give up our morning cuddles. Or our night time ones. He lives next door. If he wants to come visit, the door’s always open for him to do that. And I need you to remember that you can’t go through life trying to please everyone, okay? Please, don’t be me, Peter. You’ll break yourself like that. He and I might be at odds for the rest of time, and that’s not something you’re responsible for.”
---
“Yeah, the two people I care most about here not getting along, totally not something I’m gonna feel responsible for.” He sighed softly. He was sure he could fix this, fix whatever animosity there was between them. He was sure that if he didn’t he was going to end up being forced to choose between them at some point and he didn’t want to think about being in that position.
He finally looked up to Dick, meeting his eyes. “I’m not asking you to trust him, I- I want you to trust me, okay?”
---
“I do trust you,” Dick said, touching his cheek gently. “And I trust the goodness of your intentions, but you can’t take all of that on you. You aren’t responsible for everyone.”
---
“Not everybody, sure. But maybe a little bit for him and a little bit for you. That’s what happens when you care about people.” He shrugged. “But maybe we can help each other with that. Open and honest, right? Open and honest helps.”
---
“Open and honest,” Dick agreed, pressing their foreheads together. “I love you,” he whispered again, glad they were both calm even if he felt very, very raw about it all. Peeled open with all the feelings he couldn’t even bring himself to share with the people closest to him back home.
---
Even with their foreheads touching, Peter had to lean up a little to give Dick a little peck on the lips. It was light and sweet, the sort of mood he was desperate to get back to. Of course he loved Dick and he knew this was a talk that was a long time coming, but the nicest part of their relationship was how easy it was. Beyond the occasional disagreement it was comfortable in a way they both needed.
“Love you too, Dick.” He forced himself to smile. “You need like a nickname, you know? I always feel like I’m low-key insulting you when I throw your name on the end of things. Oh, and I’m not calling you Richard.”
---
“God, please don’t call me Richard. If I wanted to go by Richard, I would,” he laughed. “Alfred is the only one who can get away with calling me by that.” He kissed Peter’s forehead. “There’s a big hot tub. You wanna have a healing soak with me and we can have happier talks about our...us?”
---
Peter nodded, “Yeah, that sounds great… All I can think of are bird jokes or acrobat jokes and you’re still in the closet hero-wise and the big rule in school was always don’t out anybody and that’s kinda stuck with me. That and always claim that Uggs violate shatnez so you won’t be tempted to buy them, when really they’re just ugly and we can all do better.”
---
Another deep chuckle. “I’ve seen you eat non-Kosher, Parker. You’re not gonna pull that one on me.”
Finally, he pushed open the door to the massive bathroom and went to get the big tub filled.
---
“That doesn’t mean I’m gonna wear Uggs for you, not even the thigh-high ones.” He chuckled, moving to stand in the doorway and watch Dick. May had tried so hard to keep him in touch with his roots, even when his uncle wasn’t exactly being helpful in that regard, the older he got the more he’d drifted away from it but that had been his choice not hers.
“So, are you gonna wear that home?” He asked.
---
“The dress or these pyjamas?” he asked back, looking over his shoulder at Peter as he went to grab some of the bubble bath that was sitting on the shelf with all the fancy soaps. “I was gonna buy some more clothes as long as I was here.”
---
“I mostly meant the dress.” He said. “Not that I mind it, but I don’t know if our neighbors could take the thrill of seeing you like that.”
---
“Our neighbors are from New York. I’m sure they can handle it.” He winked at Peter. “Didn’t grab any swimsuits though. You want me to run downstairs and get some or are you okay with being naked?” Always important to check in.
---
“I’ve got my boxers on under this,” he motioned to his suit. For a moment he stopped to consider the possibility of Dick not wearing anything under that dress and he wasn’t sure if it was rude to bring it up or just assume. “But I still kinda feel like it might be best if we didn’t go naked.”
---
“Do you want me to go get swimwear or do you want to be in underwear then?” he asked just as calmly and supportively as he always tried to be.
---
“I’m good with underwear.” He said quickly. He was fine with it. He also didn’t want Dick spending money on him he didn’t have to. He would get home eventually, he was sure, he didn’t want to potentially leave him with a broken heart and possibly a credit card bill. “Thanks though.”
---
“Alright, but we are not leaving this con without getting you some souvenirs,” he said. “The house needs some random fun stuff and I never get to buy Bat things back home.” He stopped the water when it was full and turned the jets on low to help get the bubbles going.
Dick stood up and took off his t-shirt and the shorts, revealing that he was, in fact, wearing underwear.
---
Peter tapped the empty spot where Droney was supposed to sit, his suit coming undone. “Oh, you don’t have to do that. Stuff for the house sounds good though. I was told that you were never supposed to wear or have your own merch, but that’s silly.”
It was silly because he knew Mr. Stark would put up Iron Man art wherever he liked, and probably wore t-shirts with his own face on them. But he wouldn’t tell Dick that.
---
“Since licencing things means outing yourself, we just kinda have to deal with bootleg Bat stuff everywhere,” Dick said, shrugging. “And because most of us are very, very visible members of society who can’t be seen supporting vigilanties for political reasons and, y’know, personal safety…” He let that finish on its own and got into the tub, sighing as he closed his eyes and relaxed.
---
“I just heard it was tacky.” He said, dropping his mask and stepping out of his suit before moving to join Dick in the tub. “But that does make sense.”
---
Dick kept his eyes closed so Peter could get as comfortable as he wanted, not wanting to push him in any way. “We live in a weird town now. I think we can get away with being flagrant nerds.”
---
He settled in beside Dick, pressing a small kiss to his shoulder as he did so. “Like anyone is gonna keep me from being a flagrant nerd. I mean, come on, you’ve seen the older me by now, right? I only get worse where nerdom is concerned.”
---
Dick moved his arm out of the tub so Peter could cuddle in the water if he wanted. “I’ve seen a man named Peter Parker who is older than you, sure, but that’s not you.”
---
“I think we have the same social security number, which is kinda wild if you think about it because he’s like almost forty and we were taken from the same year. I mean, like the only big difference between us, other than the age thing, is the fact that he’s noticeably taller than me.” Peter told him, cuddling close.
---
Arm wrapped around Peter’s shoulders, Dick gently rubbed his upper arm, idly enjoying the closeness. “You know giving your social security number to a strange man who claims he’s also you is a real quick way to get your whole life stolen,” he teased.
---
“I didn’t say I gave it to him.” He pointed out, smiling up at Dick. “Also, I love and appreciate you forever for not making a short joke there because I was prepared to pout and look sad.”
---
“Why would I make a short joke? Other than to see if it’d somehow summon Babs or Steph to give me a broken nose for it.” He kissed Peter’s hair.
“So...this us thing, huh?”
---
“Well, you’ve got your shirt off, seems like they’re missing a prime purple-nurple opportunity.” He teased.
Peter pressed his lips together and pulled them apart to make a popping sound, “Yeah. I know, right?”
---
“How about you tell me what you’d like from it, what you want it to be so we can both have an easier time presenting it to Tony?”
---
“That kinda makes it sound like we’re writing out an experiment or doing one of those essays some places ask you for when you apply to college, but sure. Uh, I like how we are. We’re here and we’re a comfort to each other. I guess- I guess we’re kinda doomed, aren’t we? One day we might just wake up back home and not be able to reach each other. But we’ll have had each other while we’re here.”
He shrugged, “And while you’re like, super hot, I don’t think I could do more with you than the kissing and cuddling we do, at least until like a year has gone by and I’m not a minor anymore.”
---
“I know I’ve said it before, but if sex or anything like that isn’t something you ever end up wanting, I am forever fine with that. Nothing about us is about sex for me. I don’t need it.”
---
“Don’t get me wrong, I like the idea of sex. I generally think about it as much as any average bisexual teenage boy does, which is to say, probably a lot. But, well, once it happens it isn’t something that we can take back, you know? I don’t want to be that underage kid you slept with and now feel guilty about forever.” He shrugged again. “I don’t want my first time to have any kind of shame attached to it, you know?”
---
“Can I kiss you for that?” he asked.
---
Peter nodded, turning his face up to Dick’s so he could lay whatever kind of kiss he wanted on him.
---
Dick kissed him slow and sweet, wanting it to be the kind of healing he was sure they both needed after the heaviness of earlier.
---
Peter wrapped his arms around Dick’s neck and hugged him close even after the kiss ended. He was more relieved than he could say that everything seemed like it was going to be fine for them.