There was just a lost look on John's face. It wasn't a thing that he was willing to accept yet. It still floored him how this place just robbed the people here of people. Sure he was shocked when Carol vanished, but they were just socially friendly at that point. Able to relate at a poor experience. Kitty on the other hand, she was his rock. His support.
Was.
"...she was really the only one who gave me an opportunity when I got here." John whispered. "Sure Stark is kosher, or the others.." But he didn't exactly have the most swimming review of a life story being the criminal he was.
"You say live." John looked her right in the face. "I'm not even supposed to be alive."