Leia Organa Solo (yourhighnessnes) wrote in snapthread, @ 2020-01-31 22:56:00 |
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Entry tags: | galen marek (sw), leia organa |
Who: Leia Organa & Galen Marek
What: An important, but highly awkward talk
Where: Leia's home.
When: Backdated. Not so long after this
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Alright, so Galen had the talk with Dick…Dick... kriff he hated that man. Despite the hatred, he hadn’t a clue who to talk to about what was going on or had happened or anything. What was normal, where was he a failure, and the ultimate discussion point was that he needed to talk to Leia about it. Which was the obvious notion, and he could have known that... if he wanted to know that and not avoid it like he avoided most complicated things. Like this. It was embarrassing really, because his performance for Leia was subpar at best. No, it was terrible. She deserved better than that from him, and he failed her.
It was literally terrible.
After the conversation, he wasted no time to go to Leia’s place. It was close enough after all. Walking right up to the door, he felt a nervous energy. Again. Nervous. HIM?! Fearless able to face down an entire battalion of Stormtroopers, but a simple talk gave him a weak demeanor? Pitiful. Taking a breath, Galen knocked on the door and waited. Impatiently shifting his weight one foot to the next. When the door finally opened, and there she was, the young man caught her eyes, and the smile that crept across his face was genuine, and pleased to actually see her.
“Leia,” He started with a soft tone. “I hope you don’t mind me stopping by, I was hoping to spend some time with you.” And talk. Yes, a lot of talking.
---
Leia’s thought process had never sided toward failure - the evening as a whole had gone well, she’d hoped. They’d been close, and it’d all felt natural, and right - however short lived. But that wasn’t unexpected? It was all so new, exciting. If anything she’d still had lingering concern that she’d not done things the right way around? That she hadn’t gotten too caught up, and let herself be driven by what she’d wanted in that moment, where she’d made efforts to lead them to. Rather consider the fact, perhaps she’d ought to have talked through it first?
That would, without question have ruined the moment itself and she couldn’t have imagined trying to sit him down for crash course in human biology, and ..what went where? But should she have done that? They hadn’t ..really talked after, perhaps a few words about the fact something new between them had happened? Sex. Because, well, that was probably important to know. And he hadn’t seemed uncomfortable? Or that anything unwanted that had happened? He’d still welcomed her close to him when they’d fallen asleep.
The knock at her door had Leia there to answer quickly, she’d just been sitting on the couch with Chewie, reading. She was not so surprised to see Galen, a smile on her lips. Until his strange, unusual manner was immediately evident. She’d seen it before in him, but rarely. He’d ..been like this a little earlier into their Christmas celebrations evening.
Leia felt a sense of foreboding settling in her stomach, that something ..was wrong, that Galen needed to voice how he’d actually felt that evening. He seemed uncomfortable with a nervous energy that almost crackled from him, and now he was asking almost meekly for some time with her - after they’d-? But Leia kept her demeanor as calm she could, despite the concern creeping in on her, the fear.
“Of course- always” She assured with a smile in return, she stepped aside to let him through, and rather than let him move about on his feet, with that tension and energy, she encouraged him to sit with her on the lounge, and decided not to dance around the fact there was very clearly, something on his mind, not just a visit. “Is everything alright?”
---
It was immediate that he could sense Leia, and her uneasy feeling. Her smile was genuine, and she was happy to see him, but there was a sense of dread in her, and that alone made him realize that he probably performed worse than he thought he did. His talks weren’t bad, but he wanted to just be better for her, and what if he ruined that chance already with the first time.
Dick said he’d have to get practice in. What if she didn’t want that? How did one practice without a woman?
The spiral into oblivion was dangerous territory, and Galen even understood where he was more susceptible to notions like that due to the dark side of the Force, so he made serious effort truly push those feelings down and away. This was going to go just fine, and they were going to practice more and she would be happy too. This was just a simple challenge that they could overcome. Simple as that.
With her reminding him that he was always welcome, his smile widened. It was nice being wanted somewhere. Two people in his life always having him in mind, and he had learned to do the same. “Thank you.” He walked in looking around the same house that they had celebrated that weird holiday. His eyes raised towards the bedroom, and he blushed lightly.
Looking over to Leia, he nodded. “Yes. Everything is alright.” He confirmed. “Well, for you, but not me.” Galen looked away in that way he did when he felt he shamed himself, or more importantly in this case - Leia. “I wanted to talk about that night and,” He paused trying to figure out his words. “I failed you.” He ultimately decided to go with. “And I want to do better, and I want you to help me.”
---
She was worried about him mostly. Concerned that she had, in fact taken things too far before he was entirely ready ..or even know that he was entirely ready? That was a factor too, how can you know you really wanted something if you don’t even understand what it is? But she waited, he claimed everything was alright- but not for him? She felt almost a little ill for a moment, her fears churning as if they were going to twist her stomach up. But it isn’t that. It’s more he was feeling the weight of a short lived experience. There’s no denying it - but Leia, really hadn’t thought so much about that fact, or even let it bother her.
“You didn’t fail me.” Leia corrected quickly, her tone not dismissive of what he was feeling, but warm and reassuring. In some sense she was relieved he wasn’t asking for space because she did something wrong, or that he’s confused by what happened, in a way that would make her feel like an utterly terrible person. “There ..wasn’t anything to fail-. It wasn’t a test.” She assured firmly without hesitation, hoping that made some kind of sense to him? He’s a perceptive man when he wants to be, and regardless of his knowledge, to have said he failed her? He wanted more for her. Not always a given with a partner. Plus, Leia assumed maybe he’d looked for some sense of better understanding what’s ‘supposed’ to happen, where and how she had no idea. “All I wanted, was to share something with you, and that’s what happened.” She was perfectly genuine about that too, his gaze was hard to catch when he felt ashamed, but she still tried to encourage him to look at her, reaching for him gently.
“It’s ..often that way- with anything so new. Unavoidably so, but that can change.” Not, just that. Whilst Leia had enjoyed the intimacy of her own first time, it’s also been a fumble, it’d hurt and it’d ended quickly with her wondering what the big fuss about it all was, really? But time, growing accustomed, learning and understanding. It changed matters a great deal. She would share that with him too.
But- he’d come here to talk to her, and she wanted to encourage that, not talk over him too much, plus she didn’t really want to crush the gravitas of what it would have taken for him to one, consider he needed to learn, and two ask for her help - she only admired him more for it, and she would certainly let him know. She nodded to his request. “Of course.” she smiled, but she also wanted it to be on his terms. “However I can?” she seemed to be encouraging him to go on, awkward though it might be, his agency in how to proceed with understanding one’s own body, and such was most important.
---
There wasn’t a situation that Leia had moved to fast for Galen. Sure he was mostly uneducated in things that she was taught at a younger age, but that was the nature of his life. Something that the people he was meeting were attempting to readjust so that he was more functioning as an adult and not some Sith Murder Boy. Despite his desires to end the existence of a few people in the town.
“You say I hadn’t, but it certainly feels as if I did.” Starkiller muttered while closing the distance between the pair of them. “I can sense that things are fine, I can sense that you weren’t mad or the like..” Galen acknowledged to her. “But, I know it wasn’t as pleasant for you as for me, and that,” He sighed at her. Galen understood her words, but it didn’t change he didn’t like it any. It was something that the pair of them did to bring themselves closer to each other, and that was something Galen had enjoyed. Well, WELL, honestly he enjoyed the entire thing and he only wished it to have lasted longer than it had, but that was sort of what Dick had told him. It had to be worked at. Done more. Practice. Just like how he did as a Jedi now. Just did it more and learn from the experiences.
While Leia kept reassuring him that the experience wasn’t poor for her, and she would help him. That was something at least, and that was the best something. “I don’t know how to go about this further.” He stated honestly. “Do we just,” With a quick glance away, he smirked the smallest of smiles. “Just keep practicing?” How weird to feel a notion of excitement for a simple act between the pair of them? Was this what people talked about when it came to feelings? Just something as easy as this, and she just made him feel comfortable with the uncomfortable situation, or awkward conversation.
“I guess, I need your guidance..” Galen looked to her. “I am lost in this situation - it’ uncharted territory for me.”
---
There was an amount of truth to his words, in a way? It wasn’t that she hadn’t enjoyed it, just ..well, she hadn’t wanted it to end so soon. And, it wouldn’t. This was a beginning of sorts.
Leia couldn’t help a soft laugh at Galen’s mildly hopeful, but also daren’t been too certain manner, when he supposed that to just keep practicing, as with most things, was the path to understanding, and improving. It was different to most situations, where it did indeed require a willing other-half, and it was clear he didn’t want to seem too overzealous or presumptuous that she was it. “Yes. We keep practicing.” Leia assured without a falter, amused because his coy sort of attempt not to seem too pleased by the prospect, deserved confirmation and one that was a very certain thing, in her mind.
She nodded as he spoke of guidance, and she would be more than willing to, taking his hand, just idly running her thumb over it. “You have it, there’s no reason be afraid to ask.” Anything. Of course, in their more intimate moments, there were plenty of wordless ways to show encouragement, indicate things were right, or felt right - but she didn’t want him feeling lost in moments where he might not be certain of things. She had done so, in trying her best to make certain she wasn’t going too far without him wanting such. Or in times like this, when he’d initiated a talk, and wanted clarification and how to do right, by them both - she couldn’t be more encouraging of such a thing.
The slightly awkward, only slightly stumbling vibe wasn’t completely gone, but this seemed to be going alright, so far? She looked at his hand in her’s briefly. “And, honestly, that’s- just how it works, it’s not just you. Guidance is something we’ll both need from each other-” The princess mused, thoughtfully. “To some degree- anyway.” Leia shrugged slowly, wondering how to word it. “You can have plenty of ..uh- experience, but none of them are going to be exactly the same. The person you’re with should be making some effort to understand you.”
---
Well, this talk had gone incredibly well. Where he wasn’t sure exactly what to say or expect, he at least got there and she didn’t shy away or send him packing. So whatever the experience was, as brief as it was, it wasn’t all about the act as Leia was telling him. It was a deeper impact than that. That was something that Galen could feel and get behind.
Galen really was just a simple man in his logic. Through understanding what was happening and the ins and outs of each of their bodies, he was eager to explore those aspects with Leia. Sure, he was a boy and what boy didn’t figure out simple things about his own body. Starkiller understood very well what his body did when he did certain things to himself, but the logic of what was behind when Leia did those things and why they felt so different than when he did them. Now those were the delicate differences that he wanted to explore. Did this mean, the same with Leia?
“I’m not afraid,” Galen countered. “I just am not wanting to fail you.” He reiterated with Leia. Sure she had told him he wasn’t a failure in their time together, but he knew that there was a faltering in the length in which it took. There wasn’t a world that Galen would believe that Leia was able to feel the same satisfaction he had, and the greed of the situation where he had all of that satisfying end to himself - well Galen wanted to be sure in the future Leia was able to have hers.
“I want to learn how to do… uh… what you did to me but for you…” Galen said in a stagger with a blush to match. Well, that was weird.
---
Whilst she wasn’t about to voice it yet, lest he feel even more self-conscious, but there was a certain sort of enjoyment of her own, to know that there was a lot more for Galen to discover when it came to intimacy, and that they would do so together. Already, she had the notion that they’d only grow more comfortable together, and Leia was quite content to let that take it’s course.
She couldn’t help a soft sigh as the word fail was on his lips again, and she knew well enough, the easiest way to make it all a lot less fun, or even cause other issues was to put too much pressure on oneself, particularly what Galen and possibly taken on board as something he had to now achieve? ..Sure Leia wasn’t about to tell him otherwise, it was a goal she would certainly encourage most heartily, but she didn’t want this desire not to ‘fail’ cause more problems than it solved.
“I’m not going to argue with that. And- I have no doubts that you will.” She couldn’t help but grin, a slight heat in her own cheeks; Leia certainly hadn’t based that one evening on the future she wanted with him, she knew better than that. They were learning to work well together and she had no reason to think this would be any different, she wanted to guide him every bit, as much as she’d said. Plus stroking his ego a little, wouldn’t do any harm, nor were her words remotely untrue. His nerves, and desire to do ‘better’ were clear, and well, she only wanted to do her best to help him not to focus too much on them. “But, let’s just focus on- the guidance part.. for now? Just- let the rest happen.” Leia wasn’t so focused on how long it took either, he’d seemed heartened by the idea of practice, after all.
---
It wasn’t that Galen didn’t understand Leia, but simply - he felt he failed her in their first time. Not that he had much ability to not fail her, with his limited knowledge, but he felt it. So with their agreed concept of more practice - for the both of them, so they could learn more of each other more thoroughly, Galen simply smirked about it. The intimacy that they had felt that night was something Starkiller wanted to achieve again, and soon. The things he felt were intense, both emotionally and physically.
Their hands were connected, so this motion was easy when he pulled her close right towards him. “I’d like to be guided by you.” He whispered softly to her before feeling the pull in his chest. “Do you think we could possibly..” His eyes dipped obviously catching the slight ‘V’ of her cleavage before he averted his eyes back to her face. He had to focus, despite his own immediate desires pulling at his mind. “Could we spend the day together, and see what were to happen.” Okay, he really hoped that they would in time land back where they ended up on that night.
A smirk on his face. “I mean, if you’re not interested, I can just go find something to do.” Galen teased.
---
Leia made no resistance to being tugged close to him, pleased to see that as stumbling as their talk had been, and though it had been awkward in moments and even somewhat concerning - she’d seemingly reassured him, enough that he had some confidence in moving forward - in what she hoped had become less about ‘correcting’ anything that wasn’t deemed right in his eyes, and more ..just having a desire to see where things led, how their time together progressed. Learn some new things.
There was no question his mind had strayed there, from being so focused on getting words out, and speaking of ‘failures’ and his gaze was taking her in, rather than being almost ready to avoid meeting her, to focus on elsewhere, with a sense of shame.
His tease was a more familiar state, one she knew better - but of course she was glad to see him however he was feeling, and honestly something she liked, that he had been so honest.
“By all means, if you have other things to attend to, don’t let me stop you.” The Princess replied almost haughtily, as he noted he could find something else to do, and it was no skin off her nose if she simply wasn’t on that list. But she didn’t let those words stand, and she tried to push aside the tease for the moment. “I’m glad you came to me.” She assured him, letting her arms slide up around his neck, so she could better draw herself up for a kiss. “That you could talk to me about this.” Of course his reward for working though these things with her, had to be excellent motivation.
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