InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "Our last, best hope for peace."

Eddie Kaspbrak (ekaspbrak) wrote in snapthread,
@ 2019-12-09 10:20:00

Entry tags:

eddie kaspbrak, richie tozier

Who: Reddie
What: Cuddles
Where: Loser House
When: Now
Rating: TBD but low. Richie is sick.

Keeping his distance from his sick boyfriend had lasted as long as it could. He’d told Stan that he would end up slipping into the room on his own after a while, but he had sort of assumed there’d be a little more time between the initial freak out over Richie’s cold and the desire to be around him. He’d still spent a night moping in Stan’s room while curled up next to their friend, but he did miss Richie’s snoring. He did miss having the comedian wrapped around him or wrapping himself around the comedian. Despite being shorter Eddie was occasionally the big spoon. Everyone needed to be held now and then.

He knocked on the door and poked his head in, just to make sure he wasn’t interrupting anything. Beverly had taken it upon herself to care for Richie. Eddie was glad. His own trauma and upbringing meant he had to work up the nerve to willingly go anywhere near a sick person, but he couldn’t help feeling like absolute shit for that deeply ingrained fear. Once he left the room, he’d probably go shower in hand sanitizer or something. For now, however, he just wanted to be near Richie and that drive was overpowering any instinct to run away and any thought about the high probability of him getting sick from this visit.

Finding Richie asleep and no Beverly around, Eddie let himself in. He carefully climbed up onto the bed, dragging the extra blanket he’d found along with him, and curled as much as he could into the other man. Fingers slid through tangled, messy dark hair and he couldn’t help but smile. He could’ve never done this as a boy. He would’ve been too scared or… maybe he wouldn’t have. Maybe he would’ve been there right from the start. He’d always happily shared ice cream and popsicles with Richie even if the other had warned him about germs. He was crazy for this idiot, germs and all. He leaned over and pressed a kiss to the other’s head before settling back and relaxing, humming some old song softly as his fingers continued to pet through Richie’s hair.

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trashmouthloser
2019-12-09 11:18 pm UTC (link)

Richie would maintain he didn't snore, but that probably wasn't really the case -- Eddie would know better than him, anyway. Just like Richie knew that Eddie twitched in his sleep. Not a lot. Just, like, a little. Like how dogs did it when they were dreaming about running, or something.

He was slow to wake, which was kind of weird, because in general lately Richie -- and probably all of the Losers -- were light sleepers at best. Bad dreams and reliving even worse memories would do that, after all. But this time -- well. He felt warmer than he had in a while, at least since the last time he'd thrown all of the blankets off of himself in a rush of heat, only to pull them back on a half hour later in a fit of shivers. But this time the blankets felt weighted and warm and ---

Eddie.

Eddie was curled up around him and petting his hair and Richie felt such a rush of love and warmth he had to open up his eyes to blink back tears. It was dark enough in the room where he might be able to get away with it anyway, but best to avoid it if possible. He tipped his head back a little further toward Eddie's hand and made a noise, a congested hello or maybe a sorry. Richie wasn't really sure and didn't feel particularly lucid enough to figure it out yet.

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ekaspbrak
2019-12-12 04:25 am UTC (link)

"Go back to sleep, asshole." Eddie murmured fondly. His fingers kept slipping through Richie's hair gently, kept occasionally twirling into the messy ends that seemed to curl into themselves just a little. He hadn't actually meant to wake the other. Richie needed to sleep. To sleep and drink lots of water. The thought had Eddie uncurling himself for a moment to search the room and seek out whether or not Richie had a glass or anything around that indicated he was doing that at the very least. If Beverly had been in and out of the room then there was probably nothing to worry about. He was sure she'd brought Richie whatever he needed.

"You need to start feeling better soon." He murmured. "Stan's great. He cuddles and smells nice and everything. I love him but... he's not you." And Eddie was in love with all his friends in a way. He knew that. He'd admitted it to himself and to Stan but there was a difference between all of that and the way he felt about Richie. He was in love with this idiot. Richie was the one he could see himself marrying in a perfect sort of world. Richie was the person he should've married back in their not so perfect world. Maybe he would've if he wasn't so scared back then and if Derry's magic hadn't erased the other man from his mind. It didn't matter anymore. They couldn't change the past but they had a future here.

Once he was sure Richie had settled down a little again he returned to humming, to singing softly under his breath. He returned to anything that could possibly offer the other man comfort and help settle him back to sleep.

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trashmouthloser
2019-12-12 04:44 am UTC (link)

There was no one else out there that could call Richie an asshole and have it feel like a term of endearment. It was like Eddie's secret talent and Richie was incredibly fond of it, even if it probably came across as weird to others. But there was no one around to observe them just now anyway.

Rich huffed out a laugh, and half of it got stuck in the stuffiness of his nose but it didn't send him into a burst of coughing or anything so it was a win. Not as much of a win as Eddie's fingers in his hair -- or the fact that he was here at all, despite being pretty averse to situations like these. Rich probably should have felt worse about it, but it was hard not to be pleased when all he really ever wanted was Eddie to be around in the first place.

"Stan is a delight," he agreed after too long of a time to really consider it a reply so much as Richie zoning in and out. "I get it." He did. Richie also loved Stan and Beverly with all of himself. But it wasn't Eddie style love. Hell, Stan could wear whatever short shorts he wanted and Richie would probably just make fun of him.

"Sleep's dumb." Sure, being sick made him tired but Richie'd never been all that great at sleep in the first place. It was hard to shut off, hard to be still for so long. "Tell me stuff. What's goin' on out -- there? Has the war ended?"

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ekaspbrak
2019-12-13 12:28 am UTC (link)

It was probably something of a miracle that Eddie was there at all. He was a hypochondriac, after all, and had spent his entire life in fear of getting sick or thinking he was going to die for one reason or another. After being terrorized be a leper there was a little bit of trauma there too. He could joke about it from a distance but had honestly panicked after awhile. He felt terribly about it. Eddie loved Richie. He didn't want to avoid him or make him feel like he was someone that needed to be avoided. Being around him while sick wasn't easy. Eddie didn't feel as calm as he probably should've but he didn't want to leave either. He actually had missed the other and that was probably a little pathetic considering they hadn't been apart that long.

"Yeah. Stan's a delight." He agreed. Maybe it wasn't really a response to what he'd been talking about but they could both agree that Stan was great. Bev too even if Eddie had been avoiding her for awhile there. He loved her too. He just didn't always love the subjects they discussed. It had been a long time since Eddie had had to discuss those sorts of things with anyone. He'd spent the past 27 years avoiding a lot of stuff, he was pretty good at it now.

"Sleep's not dumb." He sighed. It seemed like Richie wasn't going to go back to sleep anytime soon so they might as well talk. "No." He said, shaking his head and giving Richie a serious look. "The war still rages on. Everything beyond this house is a desolate wasteland of white. Casualties are in the tens... which, you know, considering how small this place is..." He laughed at the thought. It was probably funnier to him than it would be to the comedian.

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trashmouthloser
2019-12-13 04:17 am UTC (link)

Richie wouldn't have dealt with being avoided very well, as it was. Bev was a life saver, yes, but being ignored (or, more accurately, avoided) by Eddie always felt bad and made him go all weird. And maybe it didn't seem like a long time, but after twenty seven years apart, any amount of time they weren't together sort of felt like a long time.

Richie was, of course, very dramatic. And also sort of stupid in love. So that was just how his thoughts shook out at the best of times.

"Yes. But don't leave me for him." Rich burrowed a little further under the blankets until it was just the top of his head (not like he could see anyway) poking out and shivered away while Eddie pet at his hair. "Yeah it is." Sleep was dumb, and there wasn't even any NyQuil to bring on the really good shit, the dreamless kind of heavy sleeping. He did laugh at Eddie's joke though, a shake of his shoulders and a snuffled sort of noise. Eddie was funnier than he thought he was -- the natural kind of hilarious. Not everyone was so lucky with quick wit.

"Hey," said, rolling over a little so that he was on his back, peeking out over the blankets in Eddie's direction. "You okay?"

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ekaspbrak
2019-12-14 02:32 pm UTC (link)

Any other time that plea may have received a little teasing in return. He could've said something about how Stan wasn't sick. He may have even teased about their similar thoughts on making the bed, winter attire, vegetables, and cleaning. The point was that Eddie and Stan had things in common. That was great. It made things easier when the three of them had found themselves living together under one roof. It made it easier to fall back in sync with him after 27 years of knowing nothing about their friend. This was different. He needed Richie to know that. "I'm not going to." He said softly, stopping to tug on those curls as if he thought Richie was being a little stupid. "You're stuck with me."

Sleep wasn't dumb but Eddie wasn't going to try and argue with Richie. He needed to sleep but he had a point. None of the Losers slept too well. Dreams turned into nightmares too quickly. Eddie had found himself jolting awake in the middle of the night, having to remind himself that he was okay. That Richie and Stan were okay. That Beverly was okay. There was no clown here. No house on Neibolt street. They were safe. It didn't always work. Sometimes he found himself pacing the halls, focusing on his breathing to avoid working himself into a panic he might need to wake someone else up to help him with. Sleep was kind of dumb but it was necessary especially when you were sick.

He was drawn out of his thoughts by the sound of Richie's voice, by the man rolling over to peek at him over the blankets. He assumed he looked blurry but Richie was trying to focus anyway. "I am." He said softly. "Well, no, I'm a little tense. You know how bad I am with this sort of thing. It's why I never could've been a doctor." Which was kind of sad. He liked taking care of the Losers as a kid. He liked that the knowledge he gained from his overbearing mother could be put to good use with the people he loved. "But I've missed you more than I'm afraid of this. I love you more than I'm afraid of getting sick. Just, you know, be prepared. If I do get sick I'm going to be an absolute nightmare."

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trashmouthloser
2019-12-14 09:44 pm UTC (link)

Well. Richie was being a little stupid. It wasn't like he didn't know, exactly. He and Eddie had been a package deal since they were tiny idiot children, after all. But it wasn't like Richie wasn't occasionally prone to awkward bouts of insecurity, particularly when he felt a bit powerless to do anything else beyond sitting (or laying, in this case) around and thinking of all the stuff he occasionally felt concern over. Sometimes worry was unfounded, that was all. "More like blessed with your company," he said, fluttering his eyelashes in Eddie's direction in play flirtatiousness. Which probably would have been more effective if the fluttering didn't result in slow, heavy blinking at the end, like maybe he was too tired to really keep his eyes open.

"Mm," Richie said, clearly turning the words over in his head even as he squinted up at Eddie who was difficult to see in the dark and without his glasses, but putting them on wouldn't result in anything but a scolding because it'd only wake him up more, and give him a reason to stay up. Richie might not have cared for being stuck in one place, but he got it. Recuperating was best done in bed, and it wasn't anyone's fault they didn't have a tv or netflix account in which to make it go by quicker. "You're doin' good," he murmured, and meant it. So it took Eddie a lot to get here. But he was here, and he was sitting close. Richie wasn't going to push it by cuddling up any closer, though. "Missed you." Richie always felt, a little bit, like he missed Eddie. He'd be concerned about codependency except, like, that was an obvious thing they all had going on, and Richie didn't think that was unfair. You watch someone get murdered in front of (right on top of) you, you had free fucking reign being clingy after that.

"Absolute nightmare, okay. Whatever. I'll take care of you, Eds."

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ekaspbrak
2019-12-17 03:57 am UTC (link)

"Yes, exactly. You're blessed with my company." He laughed, playfully pushing at Richie as he attempted to bat his eyelashes. It didn't work. The other man just looked tired. He really should be getting some more sleep and Eddie wanted him to try but he also knew that Richie was stubborn. He was stubborn and, physically, could not stand sitting still even at the best of times. Being forced to stay in bed was torture for him no matter how terrible he felt. Eddie just hoped that lying in bed with him for awhile helped. Maybe he'd still hate being stuck there but with any luck he wouldn't be so focused on those insecurities that had him asking Eddie not to leave him for Stan. "I like spending time with you though. Even when you're sick."

Maybe Richie wasn't going to cuddle up closer to him but Eddie was feeling brave enough to do just that. He wouldn't get under the covers but he did move until he could tuck himself against Richie's side and toss an arm over him. It just felt better to be close to him. It felt warmer and safer even if he was risking his own health by being that close and breathing in the same air. Look, Eddie knew a lot about this stuff. He knew there was a high probability that he was going to catch whatever Richie had but, for a moment, he didn't care. It didn't matter. It wouldn't matter when he decided he might just sleep in the room later or when he decided that he wanted to cling to Richie while he slept. It would all matter later, of course, but that was a problem for future Eddie.

"Of course you will." He murmured, smiling at Richie's words. "But first you'll send Stan in and let me get him sick. If I'm catching this then we're all catching it."

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trashmouthloser
2019-12-18 09:22 pm UTC (link)

"Oh," Richie said, which was not the best response he might have come up with, but he thought he could be given a pass in cleverness considering his brain was half filled with snot and the other side had always been a bit stupid anyway. "Good. Because I am -- so into you."

Maybe even more so when Eddie decided to bite the germ laden bullet and snuggle with him which was -- great. And not just because Richie was shivery. Mostly just because it definitely added on some feelings of safety and maybe got him to settle in a way he wasn't really good at, particularly not on his own.

He shifted slightly, curling in closer until he could press his forehead up against Eddie's shoulder. "Deal. I'll be the downfall of us all," he murmured, not even bothering with a huge reaction about how Eddie was maybe treating this like the black plague or chicken pox or something equally daunting. Which, maybe fair. Because Richie was dramatic, too. "Tired now," he admitted, like it hadn't already been obvious. "Stay for a while."

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ekaspbrak
2019-12-19 06:34 pm UTC (link)

"I'm going to let you in on a little secret, Rich." He chuckled before leaning closer to the other. He wasn't going to whisper just in case Richie was the special sort of stuffy where even his hearing suffered a little for it. "I kind of already knew that." While Eddie had been sure, at one point, that he was just imagining things or reading too much into certain interactions it was impossible to deny any of that now. Richie had always returned the affection that Eddie had tried so desperately to hide.

He allowed Richie to move until his forehead was pressed against his shoulder and smiled a little. "At least we're all going down together." This time. All of the Losers would be sick. They'd all fall victim to whatever it was Richie had managed to bring in out of the cold. He let out a sigh and moved to nuzzle against that messy mop of dark curls.

"Just for a little while?" He asked teasingly. "I was pretty sure you and I agreed I was staying forever." Look, he knew it wasn't what Richie meant. He knew the other was just asking him to lie around with him in bed while he slept or whatever but there was a little more meaning behind it. Eddie loved him. If that meant he found a way to work up his courage and be around even when Richie was sick then he'd do it.

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trashmouthloser
2019-12-19 07:34 pm UTC (link)

Yeah, it wasn't really a secret -- Richie was a sap if the carving on the door and his endless dreamy expressions had any say in the matter at all. But years of pining sort of just made him want to say so all the time, because he hadn't for so long, because he'd nearly missed his chance at all. So he just. Made sure Eddie knew. Even if sometimes I love you came out more like Hey, asshole, your face is pretty alright today. It was the meaning behind it that mattered.

"Oh good," he said, muffled by Eddie's shoulder but not exactly quiet so much as more nasally than he normally was. "That's a big fucking relief for when I propose." The knowing and the staying forever bits both, in fact. Of course, that was a topic for some other day. Maybe after he fretted in both Stan and Beverly's general directions for a bit, trying to figure out a proper plan or whatever. Today was just for sleeping while his brain oozed out of his ears.

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ekaspbrak
2019-12-19 08:30 pm UTC (link)

He was a sap. A total and complete sap. One day, when Eddie wasn't unreasonably charmed by it, he'd tease Richie about the entire thing. That day was probably a long time off. He'd liked Richie since they were little idiot children. Maybe he'd covered it up and denied it at every opportunity but the feelings had always been there. Then again, they were Richie and Eddie. There was a chance he'd tease the other about his sappiness as soon as he was feeling better.

"Yeah. I might even say yes when that happens." He teased. Look, it wasn't really a question of whether or not he would say yes. This was probably something that was just a fact as far as Eddie was concerned. The sky was blue. Water was wet. Richie was going to propose. Eddie was going to say yes. It was a universal truth or some shit. That didn't mean he couldn't have a little fun. He couldn't tease and pretend there was some far off distant possibility that he'd entertain any other answer.

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trashmouthloser
2019-12-25 09:24 pm UTC (link)

Richie wouldn't mind the teasing. Eddie's wit was biting and Richie liked him that way -- when he was too kind for any given period of time, Richie started worrying that something weird was going to happen. Maybe someone was going to die, or worse, Eddie was going to let him down easy. Something like that. It was hard to know exactly because most of the time that was just Richie's imagination and anxiety running away with him instead of Eddie actually doing anything.

"You'll say yes," Richie said, feeling warmer than he had all day, certainly calmer. Eddie could tease all he wanted, but Richie wasn't going to believe it. They'd had conversations. Names had been picked. Richie had worn a tie for the sake of romance and carved their initials onto so many surfaces at this point, it was ridiculous. "It's gonna be great. I can't wait. Mr. Fuckface the Dapper will be the officiant."

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