"I should have been there," He insisted, even when she told him he didn't need to apologize, Stan couldn't help it. "I promised I would be and I just.... Mike called and it all came rushing back and I just -" He still couldn't say it, it didn't matter that they all knew what he'd done, but he couldn't actually say what he'd done. Not when the reality of it shamed him so much.
And when he saw that Bev was on the edge of tears his own emotions began to overwhelm him too, tears rolling down his cheeks. "You couldn't - none of us remembered, there wasn't anything you could have done and I just.... I needed to give you the best chance I could." And it had been the only way he could see to do it - she didn't have anything to do with it. Except that he loved her and he needed her to be safe, the same as the rest of them, he couldn't be the reason any of them got hurt.
Just like he told Eddie he'd have done it again if it meant giving them that chance.
"I just needed to know you had a chance. I'm so - I'm so sorry Beverly." He'd had a good life, there had been so much he was grateful for and as much as he'd have liked more time in it, he was glad to have given the rest of them the chance to have some of what he'd had if possible.