"Believe me, it worries me too thinking about that." He agreed, because it was true - the thought of Patty and Richie together like that and being sure that they would get along so well was a kind of terrifying thought to have. But it was also a kind of comfort, that even when he'd forgotten so much of his life before a certain point there was still something inside of him that sought out someone who would have worked well with their group and yeah Stan liked that. "Probably best we don't think about that too closely." Both because he knew the reality of it would have been different than what Eddie suggested and because it wasn't something they were ever going to have the chance to see for themselves, so it would just be this thing they pictured like this and it was fine to view it from a distance, imagining how good it could be, but also the sort of thing they wouldn't want to get too close to either.
Stan nodded, he got it and maybe a part of him had known, which was why he never really looked at it too much either - because he knew what it meant and he knew what his family would say and what Derry would say and it was just safer to ignore it, to shut off that part of himself so that he didn't have to add any more fear into a life that was already so chock full of it. "It was complicated." Stan said finally and shrugged, so much of growing up there had been complicated, and that was just one more thing.
But he'd always known really, though it had been wrapped up in something unnamable, the way he loved the other Losers it was - it was more than just the way a friend loved another friend, it was like they were all a part of him, like owned pieces of his heart and he loved them all in a way that had never really needed to be put into words, or maybe it was just that he'd been incapable of finding the words then, whatever the reason that much he'd known, he'd have lived out the rest of his life with the Losers and been only too happy about it, but life had a way of making other plans.
"Of course there's a chance," He agreed, he'd been given this second chance and now Eddie and Richie had too, ending up here like this they all had the chance to figure things out as adults with all of their memories back again, they could maybe find their way to being whole and happy people. "I mean this place is - insane," There was no other word for it, "But we're here now, it would be stupid not to try and use the opportunity we've been given." To explore who they might have been if things had gone differently.
Stan shook his head and pulled Eddie closer, "You have always been amazing, Eddie. Richie knows that, I know that, everyone else would say exactly the same. You don't need to be better." The fear though, that Stan understood, maybe not in exactly the same way as Eddie but he carried around so much of that himself he knew what it was to be afraid and to think that maybe it would be too much for someone else. "You are brave Eddie, you went back - you were there with them, you saved me, you are one of the bravest people I know." He was so much braver than Stan had ever been and the idea that Eddie couldn't see that in himself felt almost impossible. "Maybe it is why I'm here," He agreed with a small smile, "Maybe it's just to give you the push you need to trust him. Richie might be .... Richie, but he's not an idiot and he's never been someone to hide what he feels. He'd tell you if he thought there was something missing, you know that."