InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "I GOT BLISTERS ON ME FINGERS!"

Tony Stark (campusking) wrote in snapthread,
@ 2019-10-12 13:24:00

Entry tags:

tony stark (avac), tony stark (mcu)

Who: T2:Tonyminator
What: He doesn't know it now, but he has just died
Where: Around town
When: Today

It had been a fun kind of break being here, away from tutors and classes and his parents and everything else. Tony would admit he missed Jarvis, but he knew it was okay, even though he didn't really know how they'd gotten here he understood enough to know that they were safe here and that things weren't exactly what they seemed, it was a little hazy when he tried to figure out how exactly it was all different was harder to do, but he supposed it wasn't too important.

But after days spent at his home and playing with his bots and some of the other kids around town he wanted to explore a little bit more, so off he'd gone to look around and see what he could find of interest, maybe he'd find something he could take apart and try and build another little bot, maybe not as big or as cool as Dum-E but something small.

So when he found himself outside what looked like a workshop, that reminded him a lot of the one his dad had. Maybe a little bit cooler, but he wasn't totally sure, there was only one way to know for sure though. He pulled open the door, peering inside a little bit before letting himself in to get a proper look.

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allaboutego
2019-10-13 03:00 am UTC (link)

Yes. This week had, thus far, been pretty fun. Really, it had. Tony loved playing with little Gwen and carting her around everywhere even though it was clearly just spoiling her because she was more than capable of walking (and running and jumping and climbing) all on her own, and he loved offering Natasha freedoms she'd never had before and candied cereal to go with them. And Steve --

Well. Steve was very well behaved and cute, in any case.

Steve was the only part of this week that Tony wasn't enjoying, and it was no fault of Steve's. He really was a perfect kid. But that he was a kid at all was pretty problematic for Tony.

So, while Gwen was out playing with little Peter and Natasha was off doing god knew what, Tony decided now was the best time to get some work done in his shop. It was nice to feel normal, with just his 'Bots and AIs to keep him company.

Until a tiny, tiny version of himself walked in anyway. And oh, boy, Tony had kind of been avoiding that one. For a lot of reasons. "Uh -- hello?"

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campusking
2019-10-13 06:00 am UTC (link)

As he'd come into the workshop, Tony's eyes had gone wide looking around at everything, it was even better than the little work space he had in his own home, which had been the best as far as he was concerned. But this - this was something else entirely. He was looking at everything and hadn't even noticed the man inside in his slow wanderings when he heard the slow greeting and he startled out of his goggling turning wide eyed at the person behind him.

Opening his mouth to respond he stopped almost immediately because there behind him was, "Dad!" He wasn't supposed to be here, he couldn't be here, he was ... well Tony didn't know where he was but he wasn't here. He'd been sure of that much at least.

He'd never have been able to have the party if his dad was really here but there he was and it was all falling apart and everything was wrong and he thought maybe he was going to panic over all of this because if his dad was here then things weren't going to be good. He wasn't supposed to be in dad's work shop. "I didn't mean - I mean... I wasn't going to," He faltered and started backing toward the door. "I'm sorry."

Of course as soon as he'd said it he thought maybe that wasn't right, this wasn't his dad he looked.... different. He was - well Tony didn't really know, just like everything else over the last few days it was confusing.

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allaboutego
2019-10-13 10:12 pm UTC (link)

Oh no. Tony actually had to stop working and settle a hand over his arc reactor for how quickly this had gone too painful. He didn't -- well. He hadn't quite expected that reaction because if there was anyone Tony didn't try comparing himself to these days, it was his own father. Especially lately because Tony would be the first to admit that he had fatherhood kind of on the brain. And on lockdown, frankly. Not that he was going to pat himself on the back or anything, but he thought he was doing a pretty good job, particularly with Gwen. So being mistaken for Howard? It was kind of a blow to the ego.

Not that he didn't get it -- it wasn't like he didn't -- well. He was a Stark, of course he looked like him. It was all logic based, even if Tony was making it more of an emotional affair. He really had to get his shit together.

"Wait," he said, a little strangled. "You can stay."

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campusking
2019-10-14 07:27 am UTC (link)

Truthfully it was the call for him to wait, that he could stay that really got it into his head that he wasn't his dad. Dad would never have said that, it wasn't like was mean, not really, Tony knew he was busy, that he had things that he needed to take care of, that he couldn't stop just to see what Tony wanted or whatever. It was fine. He knew it was fine. It was even more fine because this wasn't his dad, this was -

Well Tony wasn't totally sure, he looked like someone he should know but he couldn't quite place it.

But with that permission he'd gotten Tony steeled himself and crept forward again, moving over to where he was working, reaching up to grasp the edge of his work table and stand up on his tip toes to get a better look at what he was working on. "What are you building?" He asked, because obviously that was more important than who he was after all.

"I've got a work shop at my house, but it's not like this." He explained. "I'm Tony." He added because maybe he should do that, because this wasn't his dad. "Why do you look like that?"

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allaboutego
2019-10-14 09:58 pm UTC (link)

It was a little heartbreaking to see the way that the younger version of himself had to deliberate on whether or not he should actually be here -- on if he was allowed to be or not. It'd been a long time ago now, but he remembered that feeling pretty clearly. It'd been a lost cause, getting into his dad's workshop just to talk or show off or even watch. The feeling of wrong, not belonging and being unwanted -- yeah. Those things stuck. Maybe Tony should have sought out this little version of himself earlier. Hindsight.

"I'm working on miniature furnaces. For heating the buildings and houses since it's been getting colder out." He didn't want to get caught in a lurch, not the way they all had this summer with the extreme heat. This time, he'd realized it was coming and was working on it --- well. Ahead of time was being a little too generous. But to his credit, Tony had been pretty busy.

He flipped the diagram so Tony could see it and play around with it if he wanted. "It's my face. I'm supposed to look like this," he said a little dryly, because he knew why Tony was asking, but it was hard not to be amused by it. "Why do you look like that?"

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campusking
2019-10-15 12:38 am UTC (link)

Miniature furnaces, that sounded smart. Now that he was in the work shop and he'd been given permission he wanted to look more to see all of it, because it looked so neat. Different than the space where his dad worked, it was brighter maybe? He couldn't quite put a finger on it, but it was something and he liked whatever that was. He wondered if he'd be allowed to come back again? Or if this was it. Maybe he'd ask, but not yet - he didn't want to spoil it yet.

He loved the diagram though, he reached out to turn it this way and that a little bit, to get a better look at the design and make sense out of it. He could have just focused on that part of it, without actually talking about much else, but that was the thing about Tony, he didn't really know how to stop, and he had questions so holding them back didn't really feel right.

"Are you sure?" He asked about his face, because it didn't seem quite right, even though it felt familiar. He made a face at him when he directed the question at him next. "I've always looked like this, it's my face." He said but then paused because he wasn't sure that was totally right. "Maybe I looked different before?"

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allaboutego
2019-10-16 03:53 am UTC (link)

Tony was patient -- it was hard not to be with the way that his smaller self seemed so uncertain about everything. He'd remembered being like that once, too. Confident, but not all at the same time. Because he'd built engines and cars up from the ground by this age, but he'd been unable to find a way to get anyone to care and had worried about it endlessly.

So he let him play with the diagram and settled his chin on his palm, content to just watch for the moment. "Pretty sure," Tony said with a thoughtful sort of hum. "I suppose I was younger once, so looked that way. But it's still my face." And wasn't it funny that the smaller version of Tony was pretty much saying the exact same thing? He had to wonder, briefly, if now-small-Steve had met this boy yet. Now that might be something to worry over. "It's your face," he agreed. "That fact hasn't changed, Tony."

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campusking
2019-10-16 06:31 am UTC (link)

"That's weird," He admitted, because of course he knew that adults used to be younger at one point, they were all kids like him before but it was still weird to think about people that were so old being kids. Like everything went fuzzy around the edges a little bit and it didn't quite fit. A little like the way things felt whenever he tried to remember how he got here actually. Which was also weird. "Did you like it?" He asked next, "I mean being younger."

As for his own face, well he supposed it was his, he'd said it was after all, it changed a little bit as he got older but it was always just his no matter what. He was thinking about it too much, chewing on his lower lip and frowning as he tried to make sense of it but couldn't quite get there. He just knew it wasn't quite right.

So instead he played with the little diagram a bit more, "What kind of power source are you going to use for your furnaces?" He wondered curious about that too. "Things are strange here," He said after a beat, finding a connection that didn't really track but managed to fit in his mind somehow. "I live alone, but that's not right, mom and dad should be there and Jarvis too, but they're all gone and they're not really supposed to be here. And it's all just a little bit..." He frowned not really able to come up with the right word for it. "It's frustrating. I'm supposed to be smart, s'what dad is always telling everyone, when he makes me stay up late for his parties, but I don't know."

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allaboutego
2019-10-16 10:37 pm UTC (link)

"Not especially," Tony said honestly. Because his childhood hadn't been great by any measure unless having money counted (and he was aware, yes, that sometimes it did, but in this instance he was going to say it didn't). "But it got better."

Tony didn't really know why everyone was keeping it a secret from the kids -- that they hadn't always been that way, and that just a few days prior they'd been a different age altogether. Probably because it felt easier, because explaining something like that to children was complicated and difficult and would be hard to really fathom. But Tony -- the younger version -- was clearly struggling here, and he felt like, maybe, if the situations were reversed, he'd be mad if no one had told him.

"Modified arc reactor," he said after a beat, pulling up a new display for Tony to see. "It's good for a lot of uses." He figured it'd be, if nothing else, a very familiar design. An intro into this new conversation, maybe. "You are smart, and you know it. Not being able to remember something isn't the same as not knowing it. Your dad isn't here, or your mom, or Jarvis. And you're usually a little older. Anyway. I didn't introduce myself, did I?" He held out his hand for a shake, even though he wasn't usually fond of that sort of thing. "Tony Stark."

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campusking
2019-10-17 05:38 am UTC (link)

Tony thought maybe that he could relate to that. It wasn't really the best being a kid, especially all things considered, but he hoped things would get better. He thought they would, Jarvis always said they'd change eventually and Tony hoped maybe they would. It had for this guy, maybe he could get it too.

The modified arc reactor ticked at something in the back of his mind, he'd seen this design before. It was like something he'd dreamed up once before maybe, something he'd imagined building himself, like he could remember the motions but wasn't quite certain that it was real. He bunched up his mouth to one side while he looked at it trying to place it.

Thankfully there was some small bit of mercy in the world and he got something of an explanation for it all. He was older usually, that was - well that would explain the fridge full of cheese that he didn't want to eat. Of course the introduction of one adult Tony Stark really did just kind of short things out for a moment, even as it made things sort of slot into place all at the same time. "We're not really kids." Well they were, but not really, they had been before and they were older usually. But Tony couldn't quite remember it all, but he still took the hand that was offered to him, tugging a little bit to pull Tony down toward him to get a better look at him.

"You're not me though, are you?" He asked examining Tony's face a little bit more. He'd pieced together some of it, but not everything, but things were becoming more and more clear the more he talked with Tony.

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allaboutego
2019-10-19 08:26 pm UTC (link)

It'd taken maybe longer for things to get better than Tony would have liked as a kid -- but he knew that this other version, this younger version -- had fallen in with friends and Avengers at a much younger age than he had. He had a lot to look forward to. Or to remember. Whichever.

"No, you're not really kids," Tony agreed, tone careful. "Or, well, you are. But you normally aren't. It's a little weird." Which surely even as young as Tony was, he had to be aware of.

He flipped his screen back around again and then waved it away, so that there wasn't really anything between them and the Tony could get his fill with his looking and curiosity. "I'm you from a different reality. So no, not really. Not in any exact way. Do you remember?"

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campusking
2019-10-20 11:41 pm UTC (link)

"It's really weird," Tony agreed with a frown, but he'd felt like things were weird when he'd first woken up in a house alone. But he'd been running with it despite that. Things made a little bit more sense knowing that much at least, well maybe saying they made sense was a little generous, but he understood a little more why things felt so weird all the time no matter what he did, why people felt familiar even though he didn't think he knew them.

He was disappointed at the loss of the little display screen, but well he was interested in looking at this other Tony Stark who was both him and not him. He wanted to touch him a little bit, just to push his face this way and that and get a better look, but he knew he wouldn't like that and thought this older version wouldn't either so he kept his hands to himself.

"Sort of," He said finally frowning, "It's all sort of there but like... did you ever get sick?" He asked trying to explain it. "When you're sick and all you can think about is how bad it feels and not all the other things you know." It wasn't a perfect comparison, but it was about as near as he could get at the moment.

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allaboutego
2019-10-26 02:20 am UTC (link)

Little Tony thought right about the touching thing -- Tony might have been getting better at it, maybe especially this week because Gwen had absolutely no problem throwing her arms around his neck or poking at his cheeks or even very helpfully feeding him marshmallows from her cereal -- but he wasn't normally into that kind of thing, wasn't touchy feely by any means. Probably neither was this little version of him. Still, Tony wasn't going to push away completely either. He knew what it was like to be ignored as a kid, and he wasn't about to do it to another version of himself.

"Yeah," he agreed. "I know what that feels like. Like it's hard to focus past the moment, like this is all there is, even though you know that's not true." It was a good analogy actually, even if it took a little more talking to find it. "But," he went on, serious. 'You shouldn't worry about it too much. Have fun."

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campusking
2019-10-26 04:31 am UTC (link)

Tony nodded, glad that he was understood as he tried to explain a little bit of what it was like. He half expected the older Tony to just try and get rid of him, kind of the way his dad would so often whenever he started talking to him for too long. But Tony didn't do that, he just agreed and it was - well it was kind of nice to meet an adult that would do that for a little while, or at least an adult who wasn't Jarvis.

"I had a party," Tony admitted with a kind of shy pleasure, grinning at Tony. "It was great, so many people came, they had fun." And well if they did then he did too, and he'd gotten to show off the bots and his hot tub and it was just a fun time. The sort of thing he'd never been able to have before - not like that. "Are you gonna have some fun too?" He asked, concerned now for this older version of him - if all the kids were having fun he should too right? That was fair.

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allaboutego
2019-10-26 07:11 pm UTC (link)

If nothing else, Tony had learned from his own father how to not be a parent; how to be an adult that was good with children, who knew not to talk to them like they didn't matter or that they didn't have valid opinions. Hell, talking to them at all was important.

Of course, Tony knew that there'd been a party -- Steve and Natasha both had gone to it, and he suspected they'd had fun for all they talked and giggled about it in private, now. There'd been drinking, he was sure, but not enough for anyone to do anything stupid and Tony wasn't the sort to police that sort of thing. "Sounds like it was a blast, I'm glad," he said with a smile. "And yeah. Don't worry about me. I have plenty of fun." It wasn't really true. Mostly he was stressed and missed Steve, but it wasn't like he was suffering either. He had Gwen and when all the kids went to bed, the adults went out drinking and sighing loudly, so there was that.

"Alright," he said, clearing the topic away because he didn't care to focus on it. "You wanna build some stuff?"

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campusking
2019-10-26 11:49 pm UTC (link)

Tony grinned, it was maybe a little weird seeing a version of himself so grown up when he felt like he'd never be that old himself. But it was kind of nice too, a little like talking to his dad without all of the fear that usually came along with something like that. Maybe he could have another party again, that'd be fun, or maybe not - he didn't know. He'd have to think about it. "Good." He nodded firmly like it was an important thing that the big Tony was having fun too, and not just the kids. He thought maybe that was his dad's problem too, he never let himself have any fun.

And then the offer to build something and Tony's eyes lit up and he nodded eagerly. "Yeah!" He clutched at the table's edge practically vibrating with the idea of doing something like that. "Yeah let's build something really cool!"

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