I'm not really sure if this is a planet, actually. Maybe a pocket-universe? I've been to one of those recently, but it was very unstable. I made friends with a talking frog! Let's hope this one isn't like that.
I'm the 13th version of myself. Technically. It's a long story that I probably shouldn't get into with you because of timelines, but the short version is I'm 13.
It makes sense, don't worry. And yes, we appear to really be stuck here. I know other me wants us to meet and explore one of these nearby portals we keep hearing about. You should come, too! Do you know where he is?
Oh. Yes, I think I remember that. Except from what I remember, we didn't end up here. At least, I don't think you did.