That’s exactly what I mean. Some things don’t go away, exactly. But they do quiet eventually. Sometimes they’ll flare up. You learn to make things a part of you. It won’t take centuries. The worst part of it is when you’re living in it, though, and that’s where you are now.
As far as the me of it all goes: I love you for loving me that much. I do. There are people I wish I could have saved. But I’m here now. And if Tony does figure out how to send us all back, and the only way to do it is to go back to the moment we came from, we’ll still have always had this, now, and that’s more than we were going to have. I don’t expect you to just be okay with it, though.
To be honest, it means - more to me than you know, that you’re not okay with it. You and Tony and James being angry at me is...thank you for it.
And I don’t think there’s a way to know, if you lost control. I can tell you that something similar happened where I’m from, though. We were all very divided. It came to blows - Steve and Tony included. We all took sides. We all hurt each other. Maybe you can do a little more damage than the rest of us, but no one’s immune.
I think the important thing is that if you’re aware of it now, you can learn to watch for it. Control it.