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Tweak says, "It either is or it isn't"

snapelyhols_mod (snapelyhols_mod) wrote in snapelyholidays,
@ 2010-12-22 00:37:00

Entry tags:

2010_fic, angst, fic4:miss_moreland, snape/peter, ust

Gift fic for miss_morland, The Boy With the Thorn in His Side, PG-13
Recipient: miss_morland

Author: arcadian_dream

Title: The Boy With the Thorn in His Side

Characters: Severus Snape/Peter Pettigrew, unrequited Severus/James and Peter/James.

Rating: PG-13

Content Info: *ANGST*

Summary: He remembers when Wormtail was Peter, and he was Severus, and they were kids, both lost, lonely; and in love with James Potter.

Disclaimer: It's Rowling's playground, I just like to muck about on the swings.

Word count: ~1,630

Author Notes: I may have gone a bit OTT on the whole Snape's-unpleasantness-being-acknowledged angle. I'm crossing my fingers it's not too detrimental overall. Thanks to the Mods for their patience - this would, in no way, have happened otherwise. miss_morland, I enjoyed writing for you (more than I've ever enjoyed writing Snape, actually!), and I hope you enjoy reading

( The Boy With the Thorn in His Side )

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	countesszero 2010-12-22 10:51 am UTC (link)
	i loved this. i also love that song! you described that silent pain so well, that desire and the sadness! and then knowing their end - it becomes much sadder! i love stories that give peter a voice and make him more real as a character! (Reply to this)

	lookfar 2010-12-22 12:58 pm UTC (link)
	This is so lovely and minimalist and sad. Beautifully done. I love when Severus excoriates James, yet he feels the burn from his touch nonetheless. And James is so unworthy. (Reply to this)

miss_morland
2010-12-22 02:37 pm UTC (link)

Oh, as soon as I saw the title, I knew I was going to love this. <3

I love the tight painfulness of this story, the bitter feeling that things can never be fully right -- both Severus and Peter are such wretched, lonely boys, each intent on destroying the object of his want. I love how Severus sees right through Peter, and I can only imagine the reverse is true, as well. So tangled and complicated and painful, and just perfectly in keeping with what I imagine these relationships must be like.

Some of the lines I love:

It burns within Severus, and when it does, Severus thinks: he has taken something from me.

With quill in hand, he pauses mid-stroke and the scratching of the nib on parchment fades, like a strangled cry against a backdrop of eerie silence.

And the entirety of this paragraph: It is not long after when he seeks out Peter: Peter, who has been closer to James than Severus could ever hope to be (it makes him sick; he's so pathetic is Peter) and if Severus shuts his eyes tight enough and Peter doesn't speak and he forgets (forgetforgetforget) it could almost, almost, almost -

But it never quite is.

And the ending, of course, lingering on a desperate, lonely note of not-quite-right -- so perfect.

Thanks so much, Mystery Author! I truly love my gift. <3

(Reply to this) (Thread)

	miss_morland 2010-12-26 12:42 am UTC (link)
	Also, I've recced this over at my LJ. :-) (Reply to this) (Parent)

kelly_chambliss
2010-12-23 10:38 pm UTC (link)

Very well-done indeed; I really like this. Such insight into both Peter and Severus. The present-tense, spare style works quite well to suggest the limitations of their lives and how tight a rein Severus must keep even on his thoughts, lest they overpower him. The details are so well-observed: the painful, burning blush, Peter's attempts to be intimidating. And that powerful ending. Excellent story.

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	fanficforensics 2010-12-23 10:50 pm UTC (link)
	This made me wish Snape/Wormtail weren't such a rare pairing. Your Peter is wonderful, understated and still a follower, but with some sense of agency about him that ensures he doesn't come across as pathetic at all. I love that Snape seems to have some kind of respect for him, too. Part of the charm of this piece is that it's brief, but I want more :) (Reply to this)

	farad 2010-12-25 08:59 pm UTC (link)
	Lovely - very nice angst and perfect tone. Thanks for writing. (Reply to this)

	atdelphi 2010-12-26 05:15 pm UTC (link)
	Beautifully done. This Peter and this Severus are painfully real. This is angst at its best—ouch. (Reply to this)

	cardigrl 2010-12-27 01:46 am UTC (link)
	He remembers when Wormtail was Peter, and he was Severus, and they were kids, both lost, lonely; and in love with James A very powerful start, and the rest certainly lives up to it. Tragic and painfully bitter. Well done. (Reply to this)

	torino10154 2010-12-27 05:39 pm UTC (link)
	Oh, that's sad and makes perfect sense really. Well done. (Reply to this)

	k8bnimble 2010-12-30 10:42 pm UTC (link)
	Very poignant and sad that they turn to each other in their obsessive need for James even after all that time. Well written and compelling. (Reply to this)

r_grayjoy
2011-01-12 02:11 am UTC (link)

Oh maaaaaan. The writing thoughout this entire piece is dark and flowing and melodic, right from the first word. Of course it makes total sense that Peter's behavior as a student could be the result of unrequited feelings for James, and it puts his betrayal of the Potters into a whole new perspective. And it doesn't take much to shift Snape's hatred of James to something a little more complex. The understanding between Snape and Peter is so well done here; delicate and painful. I love Snape remembering "when he was Peter," and the use of the same final line for both past and present -- the cycle repeating itself. Gah, bleak and lovely.

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