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Tweak says, "you make my heart go boom boom"

snapelyhols_mod (snapelyhols_mod) wrote in snapelyholidays,
@ 2010-12-02 00:42:00

Entry tags:

2010_fic, fic4:janus, pg-13, regulus

Gift fic for janus, Demons, PG-13
Recipient: Janus

Author: schemingreader

Title: Demons

Characters: Regulus Black, Severus Snape, Evan Rosier, Rabastan Lestrange, Sirius Black

Rating: Teen

Content Info: Slash, no sex.

Summary: His face, when I finally looked at him, was blank, a little sad. Was he disappointed that I was smitten with a Mudblood? I knew they used that term for her, my shining, perfect girl.

"Ask me if I care, Regulus Black," I thought. "Ask me if I care, who her parents are."

Disclaimer: The world of HP and its characters belongs to Rowling. I make no money on this. I just like playing with the boys. I also don't own or make money with poetry by Gerald Manley Hopkins and he is duly credited in the story.

Word count: ~3000

Author Notes: I had a lot of beta-reading help. I look forward to acknowledging it after the reveal!

( Demons )

(Post a new comment)

spoiler alert for "deathly hallows"

countesszero
2010-12-02 10:33 am UTC (link)

i already loved the challenge of the prompt.

after reading "the deathly hallows" i knew regulus' heroic act was supposed to surprise the reader but still it was hard for me to get a grip on his character.

this story was very lovely because you wrote regulus as someone who had good values but had no real life experience. you also made me understand better how in the future he would come to make his decision.

of course there was a lingering sadness in the story that, if one had read book seven can't be helped, but it added to the beauty of this story!

(Reply to this) (Thread)

	Re: spoiler alert for "deathly hallows" schemingreader 2011-01-22 11:45 pm UTC (link)
	Thanks! I'm glad you liked this and thought it accounted for some of Regulus' later actions. (Reply to this) (Parent)

	miss_morland 2010-12-02 11:09 am UTC (link)
	What a believable portrayal of young Severus! And Regulus was lovely; I really liked his character here. I enjoyed the bit about the demons/elves, too -- very intriguing. "Fine, thank you, and yours?" I looked out the train window, as if to say, "Don't actually tell me, please." Ouch! How Snape-y... (Reply to this) (Thread)

	schemingreader 2011-01-22 11:45 pm UTC (link)
	Thanks! I'm glad you believed this was the real young Snape--rude and angry. (Reply to this) (Parent)

	dandru 2010-12-02 01:53 pm UTC (link)
	Oh, that was lovely. I really enjoyed your Regulus with his fumbling yet strategic wooing of Severus. And I loved the house elf twist. (Reply to this) (Thread)

	schemingreader 2011-01-22 11:43 pm UTC (link)
	Thank you! I'm glad you liked the story. I wish JKR had written that the house elves were demons... (Reply to this) (Parent)

	snapesgirl 2010-12-02 04:22 pm UTC (link)
	Very, very well done, mystery author. Your Regulus is so sweetly naive and Severus is delightfully ambitious. I like the group dynamics and how you've captured the Syltherins at their best. (Reply to this) (Thread)

	schemingreader 2011-01-22 11:42 pm UTC (link)
	Thank you! I'm glad you liked this view of the Slytherins. (Reply to this) (Parent)

	k8bnimble 2010-12-02 05:34 pm UTC (link)
	I really loved the elf/demon take on this in the background. Very clever. And I adored Regulus having a crush on Severus. It's usually the other way around. Nice job. (Reply to this) (Thread)

	schemingreader 2011-01-22 11:41 pm UTC (link)
	Thanks! I like to think of people having crushes on Snape--he'll never expect it! (Reply to this) (Parent)

	torino10154 2010-12-02 06:17 pm UTC (link)
	I really like Regulus watching Severus, especially being there after the incident with Lily. Also that he was partially to blame for them knowing Severus's spell. Bittersweet. Nice job. (Reply to this) (Thread)

	schemingreader 2011-01-22 11:40 pm UTC (link)
	Thanks, I'm glad you enjoyed the story. (Reply to this) (Parent)

	alisanne 2010-12-02 07:33 pm UTC (link)
	What an interesting take on Regulus and the idea of Death Eaters. Sadly, I suspect Voldemort didn't agree. sigh And I may share his impression of Sirius. His actions can in no way be seen as anything other than bullying. And poor Severus. It's hard enough being young but to be poor and awkward too is just hell. cuddles him Very sweet piece! (Reply to this) (Thread)

	schemingreader 2011-01-22 11:40 pm UTC (link)
	I also find Sirius a difficult character to love--bullying and snobby. If it weren't for the warmth Gary Oldman brought to the movie version, I would never have seen what JKR was trying to tell us about him in any way. Thanks for your kind comment! (Reply to this) (Parent)

	fanficforensics 2010-12-02 10:04 pm UTC (link)
	Oh, this is sweet. I love how normal they all seem -nothing out of the ordinary at all, and still... Your Regulus is just beautiful. If we'd have seen more of him in canon, I hope he would have been just like this. House elves just got a lot scarier, though. imagines Black family summoning Dobby from the depths of hell, hides (Reply to this) (Thread)

	schemingreader 2011-01-22 11:38 pm UTC (link)
	Yes, you have to wonder about the Dobby and Harry relationship in light of this story! Though if Regulus has it right, compassion even works on demons. (Hey, if it works on Snape...) (Reply to this) (Parent)

	leela_cat 2010-12-03 12:19 am UTC (link)
	You know, Kreacher became a whole lot nastier after reading this story. I loved this slice of life that only included the Marauders by reference. You Severus and Regulus felt very much like they could become the characters we see in canon. Very well done. (Reply to this) (Thread)

	schemingreader 2011-01-22 11:37 pm UTC (link)
	Ha ha, you'd better believe it--Kreacher is a demon! Also Hermione turns from a stand-in for all of us to a total dupe. Thanks, I'm glad you could believe that this was a view of the canon characters. (Reply to this) (Parent)

	secretsolitaire 2010-12-03 01:23 am UTC (link)
	Quite an intriguing read. :-) (Reply to this) (Thread)

	schemingreader 2011-01-22 11:35 pm UTC (link)
	Thanks, glad you enjoyed it. (Reply to this) (Parent)

	verzinae 2010-12-03 02:39 am UTC (link)
	This is heartbreaking (-ly wonderful!). It feels so close to canon - giving Regulus that spark he needed to consider looking at the world on his own, not just through his parents' eyes. Amazing job. loves (Reply to this) (Thread)

	schemingreader 2011-01-22 11:35 pm UTC (link)
	Thanks! I'm very pleased you liked it. (Reply to this) (Parent)

kelly_chambliss
2010-12-03 02:53 am UTC (link)

I like the way you connect the story to canon at the same time that you give us a new pov: a world where Slytherin, not Gryffindor, is the main character, where Regulus is not Sirius's brother, but Sirius is Regulus's brother (a subtle but immensely important change). I also like the way that you keep young!Severus consistent with his older self: bookish, bright, conflicted, not always kind, yet appealing.

(Reply to this) (Thread)

	schemingreader 2011-01-22 11:30 pm UTC (link)
	Thanks for the great comment--I'm really pleased you saw all these things in my story. (Reply to this) (Parent)

r_grayjoy
2010-12-03 07:27 pm UTC (link)

Wow. I think it's going to take me a little while to fully absorb this one. There's just so much here, both in what's said and what's not said, in so few words.

Regulus' misguided ideas about pureblood ethics and what Voldemort is all about are both fascinating and heartbreaking, given what's to come in canon. His little opening statement is so right yet so wrong.

There are just so many inventive tidbits in here. House-elves as summoned and enslaved demons/djinn; the justifications behind pureblood politics; the explanation of how James et al. learned Severus' spell. Oh, and of course the double (or triple?) meaning in the title...

I love the insights into Severus' character. His almost complete denial that he likes Regulus is fantastic. Then his fishing, and finally his, "Oh just-you idiotic-fine." LOL Fantastic.

(Reply to this) (Thread)

	schemingreader 2011-01-22 11:25 pm UTC (link)
	Thanks! I'm very pleased you liked how this came out. If Regulus was a good person who was duped, there had to be some kind of justification for pureblood prejudice...and also, some explanation of why all cats hate Sirius that doesn't involve letting everyone know he's a dog animagus! (Reply to this) (Parent)

	irena_candy 2010-12-03 09:56 pm UTC (link)
	What a wonderful explanation for the existence of house elves! That is really ingenious. I like your insight into Snape's thoughts too; very well handled! (Reply to this) (Thread)

	schemingreader 2011-01-22 11:24 pm UTC (link)
	Thanks, I'm glad you liked it. (Reply to this) (Parent)

	(Anonymous) 2010-12-04 03:39 am UTC (link)
	what an interesting theory about the enslavement of house elves! i liked your fic a lot.:D (Reply to this)

	iamisaac 2010-12-05 08:48 am UTC (link)
	Oh, this is absolutely - hasn't quite found the word yet - incredible. Young!Severus, likable and unlikable in (almost) equal quantities; Death Eaters as real people, not just !evil; background for House-Elves which may very well become part of my personal canon. So much in here. Just wonderful. (Reply to this) (Thread)

	schemingreader 2011-01-22 11:23 pm UTC (link)
	Thank you, I'm very glad you liked it! I like a Snape who is equally likable and unlikable! (Reply to this) (Parent)

	janus 2010-12-05 04:02 pm UTC (link)
	What a beautifully written story. There are many lovely and eloquent turns of phrase. The idea that House Elves are Demons is so interesting and original. I am always interested in new aspects of magic. Thank you so much for writing this story. (Reply to this) (Thread)

	schemingreader 2011-01-22 11:22 pm UTC (link)
	I hope you enjoyed the story! It was a challenge, especially after I took a look at the beautiful things you've written that do better with the happy ending part of the prompt. It's hard for me to bite off a chunk of Snape's life without recalling his later regrets...but I hope you liked what I succeeded in doing in taking a shot at it. (Reply to this) (Parent)

	atdelphi 2010-12-05 10:02 pm UTC (link)
	Yes. Oh, well done, Mystery Author. I love this portrayal of young Severus and Regulus. The dialogue between them, especially, is just so believable in the way of smart young men parroting their elders. Brilliant. (Reply to this) (Thread)

	schemingreader 2011-01-22 11:18 pm UTC (link)
	Thanks! I hope it is really surprising that I wrote this, though I doubt it, somehow! It's great that you can hear how they're imitating other people. (Reply to this) (Parent)

	cardigrl 2010-12-06 03:41 am UTC (link)
	Wow. A good portrait of both Regulas and Severus. It's easy to see the men they became in the boys (both so heartbreakingly naive -- boy scouts, indeed), and the last two lines are just perfect. (Reply to this) (Thread)

	schemingreader 2011-01-22 11:17 pm UTC (link)
	Thank you! I seem to like to put sarcastic words about scouting into Snape's mouth in my stories! (Reply to this) (Parent)

lookfar
2010-12-06 07:37 pm UTC (link)

This is such a great, sad story. I find the voice you've given Severus - the worldly wise adolescent - very believable, and the incident is absolutely believable as you've inserted it behind the scenes in Rowling's story.

If he hadn't been there, it would have been me sobbing at that thought. Instead, he stood there and quietly, gracefully, cried for me. "You're so noble," he said. It was absurd and incredibly gratifying. This is a terrific evocation of the extreme emotional vulnerability of teenagers.

I love the concept of demons as house elves, or rather, that house elves are actually demons; it's very clever.

(Reply to this) (Thread)

	schemingreader 2011-01-22 11:17 pm UTC (link)
	Thanks for your kind words on this one, and for your help with the story at earlier stages. (Reply to this) (Parent)

	ensnarryed 2010-12-23 05:21 pm UTC (link)
	This is great! Magical!Theory!Fic and Wizarding!Ideas!Fic! goes to add to Memories (Reply to this) (Thread)

	schemingreader 2011-01-22 11:16 pm UTC (link)
	Thanks! I'm very pleased you liked the magical theory and the ideas I brought from our world's politics to theirs. (Reply to this) (Parent)

	bethbethbeth 2011-01-12 06:19 pm UTC (link)
	(catching up finally!) What a great take on the dynamics of Slytherin House, and especially between Regulus and Severus. (and I'm absolutely intrigued by the idea of house elves as demons!) (Reply to this) (Thread)

	schemingreader 2011-01-22 11:13 pm UTC (link)
	Thanks! If they're demons, we don't have to knit them hats, right? (Reply to this) (Parent)

	sealcat 2011-01-20 11:32 pm UTC (link)
	It is very nice, but after thinking what happen at Deathly Hollows, it is also a bit sad.... (Reply to this) (Thread)

	schemingreader 2011-01-22 11:12 pm UTC (link)
	Thanks--I'm sorry it still seems sad--I was trying to get the sweetness in there too. (Reply to this) (Parent)

	venturous 2011-01-22 08:02 pm UTC (link)
	lovely fic. you give such depth to slytherin culture the way you write Reg as a young Pureblood with pride and compassion, but still so naive. It is such a tender moment when he calls Severus 'noble' - I just loved that. (Reply to this) (Thread)

	schemingreader 2011-01-22 11:12 pm UTC (link)
	I'm so pleased you enjoyed this! I stepped a little outside my comfort zone on it--I'm glad Reg's sweet nature comes across. (Reply to this) (Parent)

	etrangere 2011-05-06 04:50 pm UTC (link)
	Lovely work. Very interesting characterisation of Regulus and young!Snape :) (Reply to this)

	(Anonymous) 2013-11-07 12:45 pm UTC (link)
	So beautiful. (Reply to this)