$1 for every fic or art with snape bottoming. (you didn't see this coming, did you?)
$1 for every fic that involves snape in an unusual profession. (he doesn't need to be a contortionist - i define unusual as: not a potion master/dada teacher or headmaster of hogwarts.)
$1 for every fic featuring snape in a sexual/romantic relationship with one of the marauders. (yes. ANY of them, any era ok.)
$5 for every fic that involves snape as a hooker. (i won't give up on that one. unless it's forbidden to be that specific. in that sad case please feel free to delete it.)