Entry tags:

2009_fic, angst, au, fic4:leela_cat, snape/regulus, violence

*bonus fic* for leela_cat 'If They Only Knew You, Angels Would Fall' (Snape/Regulus)

Fic for: leela_cat
Title: If They Only Knew You, Angels Would Fall
Author: hamimi_fk


Pairing: Severus/Regulus
Rating: soft R
Warnings/Content Info: highlight between brackets if you prefer story warnings:
[HBP/DH spoilers, AU, angst, hurt/comfort, implied past abuse, violence, character death.]
Summary: The world of HP and its characters belongs to Rowling. I just like playing with them from time to time and making them do 'fun' things.
Word count: ~2,190
Author Notes: I've never written Regulus before, but I've always wondered about what kind of person he was, which helped this fic along greatly. Title is inspired by lyrics from Melissa Etheridge's 'Angels Would Fall' song. It's actually symbolic of what Severus eventually ends up thinking of Regulus (and I highly you hear the song or at least read the lyrics to better understand this symbolism). Other than that, I hope my recipient enjoys this. (:

If They Only Knew You, Angels Would Fall

From the moment he had been touched by the Dark Mark, Regulus knew he had made a critical error with his life. Still, his mother beamed with satisfaction when he showed her the tattoo and all a person, young or old, wants is the approval of their parents. So for a time, Regulus pretended that what he was doing righteous and just. Fighting the good fight to protect his kind against the muggles and others who might oppose them. Until he was forced to kill his first muggle, a young woman, no older than himself, and the Deatheater way of being really hit him like a troll's club to the face.

On the other side of the coin, when Severus had first joined Voldemolt's cause, he had been young and full of anger and resentment against so many people that the harshness of being a Deatheater was more of a stress relief than a moral dilemma. By the time Regulus had received his Dark Mark, Severus was seen as a bloodthirsty monster with more than two hundred deaths under his belt. He was quite literally, the poster boy for being a loyal Deatheater. Trusted thoroughly and constantly sought after by Voldemolt for tasks and missions. Severus was there when Regulus had killed the muggle woman and something about the blank look in his eyes afterward struck the bloodthirsty monster down to his very core.

The majority of those that joined up as Deatheaters were true monsters in their own right. Respectable appearances and families, but more than thrilled by violence and killing then they would ever let on. It took a while for Severus to notice that Regulus was not like the other men and women who joined with fervor in their eyes and hate dripping from their lips. He was even different compared to his cousin, Bellatrix, who delighted in using the Unforgivable Curses whenever she could, whether it be on animal or man. No, Regulus was nothing like his cousin. He was nothing like any of them and perhaps that's why he struck out so much to the older man. There was something quiet and oddly gentle about him. For outward appearances, he paraded about as if he was rough and hateful, all for the Dark Lord's ideals, but Severus could see something through the facade. Regulus had a gentle soul and every pool of blood or corpse he came across made him pale as a ghost.

"She was a muggle," Severus said, watching Regulus carefully as the younger man put his arm down.

"She was a person," Regulus corrected, staring down at the corpse. "Why do we have to kill?"

"This is war." Though the very concept of war meant little compared to the morale debate they were having.

Tears in his eyes, Regulus looked up at the man, someone he knew better by reputation than through actual conversation. For an instant, Severus saw a younger him reflected back through those blank, teary eyes. "It's foolish," he said in a whisper.

Struck momentarily by surprise, the older man felt the two words pull at something deep within. Something he thought long ago died with his youth and innocence. Compassion. Scowling, Severus grabbed the young man by the back of his neck and yanked him toward himself. He meant for a hug, but caught himself in time.

"What you say is mutiny, don't let the others hear you. You joined this cause to help protect the pureblood way of life and you will do so without speaking as if the muggles wouldn't hurt us if they had a chance!" Anger flared within Severus, washing away the confusion Regulus had begun to instill in him. "If you speak like that again, I'll have to report you to the Dark Lord. You know he does not take weakness lightly. Much less well does he do with mutineers."

There had been a demonstration just the week prior of a man who decided he had made the wrong decisions in life and tried to unveil Voldemolt's plans to the Ministry. He had been caught in time and brought back to have his tongue jinxed from his mouth and his eyes sewn shut. Afterward, they destroyed his wand and Apparated him into the middle of a desert, or so they been told. Regulus blanched paler than he had already been and clenched his jaw tightly as he gathered his wits about him.

"I'm no mutineer," he said in a strained voice. "But she was still a person, muggle or not. We've no right to do the things we do."

Seeing no other way to shut the man up, Severus hit him hard in the stomach, more fearful than angry. "Do not let me hear you speak as such again. You knew what you were getting yourself into when you received the Dark Mark! Why are you so consumed by the death of one meaningless muggle?"

In pain from the blow to his stomach, the younger man took a moment to answer and when he did, he looked Severus square in the eye, his soul plain as the nose on his face. "I don't know."

--

For some reason, for some time after that exchange, Severus found himself thinking over his own actions. He had killed people for Voldemolt, without pause or remorse, never thinking about the person he was killing. In his mind, he saw the faces of those who shunned and shamed him in school and laughed behind his back when he stepped out into the street. It made killing easier somehow, imagining himself striking down those that had hurt him before they could hurt him more.

However, he now found himself questioning his decisions.

The next time he went out on a patrol, he took Regulus with him, wanting to learn more about him. Break the code of the younger man's mind. What he found was someone who was genuinely intrigued by Voldemolt. He described how he kept clippings of incidents involving the Dark Lord before he became a Deatheater and how happy his parents had been when he showed off his Dark Mark. Severus asked about Sirius, not out of actual interest, only to gauge what the man thought of his brother.

"He's a blood traitor," Regulus replied curtly and busied himself with adjusting his robes.

It was a practiced line, a mantra that had long ago lost it's meaning and only seemed important by the one who had coined it.

"That's not what I asked. I want to know what you think of him."

There was a long time where neither spoke, Severus waiting, Regulus thinking.

"He's my brother. Mum says I should despise him because he's a blood traitor."

"But you don't." It wasn't a question.

Regulus shook his head, ducking it as if frighten by the threat of a beating. When none came, he released the breath he had been holding. "My brother is my brother. It doesn't matter what his alliance is." Scowling, Regulus looked at the other man. "It's Sirius who doesn't seem to think that way."

Severus recalled then Sirius commenting on his 'mother's boy' little brother once while they were still in school. He had seen Regulus run off down the hallway, tears streaming down his face as Sirius turned a heavy heart away from the sight.

"Sirius is an idiot, but I think he does it out of fear more than hatred," Severus said, resting his hand hesitantly on the younger man's shoulder. "If he pushes you away, then he thinks he's protecting you from the same prosecution he's received for being different."

They'd stopped walking by then and Regulus stared up at the sky, watching clouds shift silently overhead, his look far away as he thought hard about what Severus had said. Without looking back at the older man, he placed his hand over Severus', lingering longer there than would have been considered normal.

"Thank you, Sev."

For the first time in a long time, Severus Snape smiled as a warm flutter filled his chest.

--

Voldemolt was talking about objects of great importance. Relics he claimed were necessary to assure his victory in the future. He sent followers to different corners of the United Kingdom with orders to conceal these objects according to specific directions. Severus was surprised when Regulus offered his house elf to conceal one of the relics in a cave far away. From the time they first met and conversations they had shared since, Severus knew the younger man was close to his family's house elf. Of course it was strange, but for some reason, it seemed like the out of the normal thing Regulus would do. Besides, Kreacher was more than happy to help his master.

"Anything for Master Regulus," Kreacher said as Regulus handed the wrapped relic to him, a smile from ear to ear.

"Will you really sacrifice him?" Severus questioned, feeling uneasy for the first time ever about the fate of a house elf. "He'll blindly do anything for you. This is more of a suicide mission than an order."

Regulus looked at him with hardened eyes. Something had happened to him in the time he spent being a Deatheater. The more he killed and the darker deeds he performed to not only please Voldemolt but to prove himself to his parents had began to rob Regulus of his sense of self. He'd been a Deatheater for only a little while compared to most others, but his heart had been scarred the deepest.

"If it's what my Lord wants me to do, then I shall do it," he spat, sending Kreacher on his way.

"He's going to die," Severus said slowly.

"What does the death of one house elf mean in the grand scheme of things? If Kreacher's death will assure that the Lord will win this war, then all the better."

Gripping Regulus tightly and dragging him away from earshot and out of sight of the others, he gauged the man before him. As Regulus had changed for the worst, Severus had changed for the best. He grown fond of the younger man, began to see that things were not only black and white in life. It hurt him to see the slowly deteriorating man who had once cried over a muggle woman become a monster. Daring to touch Regulus in ways he had never dared to touch anyone, Severus touched the man's temples, pushing aside his long, shaggy hair. Regulus must have seen something in the older man's face that shocked him from his dark mood, because he stared at him with eyes that were wide and childlike.

"This isn't you," Severus whispered. "You're not like the others. You're not like me, or your cousin, or even your twit of a brother."

"What am I then?" The words were low and lost, confused.

"You're beautiful and amazing. I've never known anyone as beautiful as you are both inside and out."

He pressed his mouth against Regulus' as tears threaten to spill down his face. No response for a moment, but soon Regulus was holding him, kissing him back with fervor and need. Mouths opened and tongues sought refuge in the other's mouth. Finally breathless, Severus pulled away, remembering that there was more important things to attend to.

"Kreacher will die without your help. It's not in you to let that happen to someone you care about. Go to him and save him by any means necessary."

"If I don't return?" There was fear now in the younger man's voice.

"Then you've die fighting your own cause and not that of someone else."

Severus smiled, masking the fear that threatened to consume him. He knew he should accompany him, but he couldn't be gone any longer. Voldemolt would come looking for him soon and he needed to remain at the man's beck and call to assure his safety. The look Regulus gave him was one of determination and understanding, only his eyes belied the fear that gnawed on his insides.

"Thank you. For everything you've done for me. I'd be a dead man without you and I only ask you one small favor before I go."

"What?"

Regulus grasped his hand tightly, tears now spilling from his eyes. "Fight my cause for me when I'm gone."

Knowing the depth of what those words meant, Severus gave him a hard look and kiss him on the forehead. "Until the day I die or He does."

Smiling, Regulus stepped away and wiped his tears. Turning away from the older man, proving to him, as he done to everyone else in his life, that he was strong and capable, Regulus Apparated away.

When Regulus never returned, but rumors that Kreacher had returned home had reached his ears, Severus slipped away and went to the only person he knew could help him - Albus Dumbledore. To him, he renounced his ways and pledged alliance to the older man. When Dumbledore asked him why the change of heart, Severus smiled.

"I gave my word to someone that I loved that I would continue their fight when they were gone."


-- End --





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