23rd Snapely Holidays Entry - 'Once Is More Than Enough' (SS/SB)
Fic for: r_grayjoy Title: Once Is More Than Enough Author:lore
Pairing Snape/Sirius Rating NC-17 Warnings None Summary A single moment in time can last a lifetime. Disclaimer The world of HP and its characters belongs to Rowling. The author of this fic has borrowed them for the purposes of storytelling. No profit was or will be made. Word count ~4,290 Author Notes Betaed by Team *DED* ~ Happy Christmas, RG!
Once Is More Than Enough
"Black!" Hot lips and a cool tongue pressed into him. It was becoming hard to think, let alone struggle. "Black, stop it!"
The lips receded and the damnably smug, smiling face of Sirius Black reappeared in Severus' vision. "You taste pretty good, Snape."
"I- What?!" Minutes ago, Severus had tackled Sirius in an attempt to avoid another hexing in the hall, which would have surely garnered them both detentions for the rest of the school year at the rate they had been going.
The resulting scrimmage had left them rolling around on the floor, squirming against one another. Severus had considered their reactions embarrassing, but natural -- it wasn't the first time his body had reacted to a scrum -- but Sirius had fought them upright, clamped down on Severus' hand and dragged him to a nearby room he had never seen before.
"Didn't think you knew this room," Sirius said at the surprised look on Severus' face. He didn't know that Severus could see a bed over his shoulder.
Severus had spied on what some of the older Slytherin boys did with one another in the showers, and the images had fueled his midnight wank sessions in a way women never had. Neither gender had payed much attention to Severus over the course of six years. How could the dark, handsome Git of Gryffindor, Sirius Black, want him? Worse than that, Severus wondered how he could be thinking of agreeing; Sirius would know he was inexperienced in two seconds, flat.
But Sirius wasn't looking at Severus with his usual lip-curl of disgust. He was watching Severus' mouth and then he was covering it with more ease than Severus ever thought could be between them.
Severus closed his eyes and concentrated on kissing Sirius, unable to give the situation its due consideration as Sirius' tongue slowed to a languid slither along his, dipping in and out of Severus' mouth as if he could drink the Slytherin up. Despite the years of animosity between them, Severus knew he couldn't ask for a more fit bloke for his first shag -- if this wasn't yet another trick.
"Get- Get off!" Severus shoved at Sirius' shoulders. "Let me breathe," he amended more gently at the sight of the dazed look on Sirius' face. Caught by pale-grey eyes and Sirius' too-red lips, Severus stared back, and the image of Sirius wrapped around his body popped into Severus' head. It held the kind of passion Severus would never dare to imagine on his own, and he realised he had accidentally picked the scene up from the other boy. He had been plucking random thoughts from others with disturbing frequency since his voice had settled into a smooth baritone.
"Yeah, you're in. I thought you would be," Sirius said between gulps of air, looking at Severus in the conspiratorial way he usually saved for his Gryffindor chums. It made Severus feel wanted in a way no rampant tonker could ever inspire.
While Sirius panted, completely unaware of what he'd given away, Severus pulled out his wand and began casting every spell he could think of to detect foul intent on Sirius' part, and six years of study both in-class and out meant he was at it quite a while. The other boy had twitched at the sight of Severus' wand, but then it turned to the walls and door with protection spells, and Sirius just smirked, brushing away his stupor.
The Gryffindor began pulling off his jumper and tie, and his hair landed in an elegant mess around his face -- of course. As Severus finished with some locking and privacy spells, Sirius worked his way behind the shorter boy and began tugging at his knots and buttons. When Severus finally let Sirius pull the garments away, his hair stood up wildly where it wasn't weighted down with grease.
Sirius pulled a face behind Severus' back and went for his own wand. "Merlin, don't you ever-" He shut his mouth with a clack and cast a cleansing spell on both of them while Severus glared, his hair still slippery, but lying dry and straight now, as good as it ever was for the first few hours of his day. He could guess what Sirius didn't say, and as he considered it, Severus' glare turned into a smirk of his own.
"You must want it bad, Black."
The look Sirius turned on him made Severus' scalp crawl. There was loathing and longing on his enemy's face, and Severus suddenly became quite aware of the fact that he was standing, shirtless, in a room he didn't recognize with a rather large bed in it. Confidence and desire began to drain away, but then Sirius broke through Severus' dawning horror.
"You make me hard, Snape." Sirius looked at the floor and then began taking off the rest of his clothes as he continued. "The insults, the hexes, pranks, even punches. I thought James could keep up with me, but you-" He looked ridiculous, pulling off his socks, hopping in place for balance while his cock slapped him in the stomach, but the sight made Severus' mouth dry. A body like Sirius Black's could render anything dead-sexy, and Severus felt his preferences click into place like the latch of a pocketwatch. There'd be no point trying to find a way into the girls' dormitories after this.
"You've been making me mental for weeks!" With a look of determination, Sirius advanced on Severus, which made Severus step backward until his knees inexplicably hit the edge of the bed that he could have sworn was well left of them. Not stopping, Sirius crowded Severus back onto the bed and crawled up the shorter boy's body until their noses touched. "We're going to shag until we get this out of our systems. You got it?" Sirius hovered above him, eyes narrowed and expectant, and Severus knew he was hoping for some sort of consent.
Sex. Sirius Black. Sex. Severus prided himself on being more mature than the average 16-year-old dunderheads that surrounded him, but he knew he was fighting a losing battle with his cock, which hadn't flagged once from the moment Black had tackled him in the hall. It twitched now as if to remind Severus just who was in charge here. "Get on with it, Black. I never thought you'd be such a girl about something as simple as a shag."
"But you did think about it. Me." Severus could have sworn that Sirius' grin was almost friendly before their lips met once again. He attempted to make the kiss hard, savage even, with teeth and tongue, trying to hide inexperience with sheer force. But Sirius was having none of it, retreating when Severus advanced, lapping to avoid bites, their heads bobbing and turning until Severus quieted and allowed Sirius momentary control.
As a reward, Sirius began a slow mapping of Severus' sensitive spots -- the roof of his mouth, corner of his lips, earlobe and jawline. The pulse along his neck fluttered under the delicate, wet point of Sirius' tongue and Severus' excitement grew the longer the other boy dwelled on it, causing him to writhe and shudder as he wanted to both escape and place his entire throat between Sirius' teeth. The realisation made Severus go still as his focus shifted toward thinking of a way to regain the upper hand.
Sirius moved lower and bit Severus hard at the smooth, white juncture between his neck and shoulder, and Severus shouted in startled surprise. "Get out of your head, you prat. You'll miss the good stuff." They glared at each other until Severus broke the stalemate and let his head fall back against the simple cream duvet, and he missed the sly smile Sirius had on his face as he bent to address Severus' nipples.
At first, Severus didn't understand why Black was wasting so much time on the pointed nubs. He'd seen enough in the showers to know that some boys seemed to derive pleasure from having their nipples played with, but Severus had tried touching them while masturbating, and he didn't see what the big deal was. Twisting and pulling made them hurt, and flicking at them caused jolts of sensation too intense to be considered pleasurable.
Sirius started by touching the tip of his tongue all over one aureole, and then he tried circling and swirling. It wasn't until he closed his lips over Severus' nipple, taking the nub gently in his teeth and worrying it slowly with his tongue, that Severus began to feel a growing excitement. Each rake of tongue over his flesh sent a roll of electricity straight to his cock, and Severus' hips began pushing, seeking friction against Sirius' body any way he could get it.
"Smrr yrrr rrrn."
"What?" Severus said faintly. He thought the hum of Sirius' words against his skin was nice.
Sirius let go of Severus' nipple with a wet pop. "I said, 'spread your legs'."
Severus stilled, and he lifted his head with narrowed eyes even as a wave of panic passed over him. "Why?" Surely he wasn't ready for, well, anything yet?
"God, you suspicious snake!" Sirius shook his head and soft black locks fanned out over Severus' pale chest like silken whips. "Because it will hurt if I force mine between them." Severus looked unconvinced and Sirius let doubt creep into his own expression for the first time. "Haven't you even rubbed off with someone? Anything? Fine-"
Sitting up, Sirius put both hands high between Severus' clothed thighs, pushing lightly until Severus relented and let his legs fall open. When Sirius settled back down on him to claim another long, mouth-fucking kiss, Severus found Sirius' solid muscle much more satisfying to squirm against. And from the hardness of Sirius' length along his hipbone, Severus assumed the other boy was also feeling better.
Instead, after a few minutes Sirius sat up with a tortured groan. "You're rubbing me raw! Let's get these off." He began opening the belt and buttons on Severus' trousers, intent on stripping the other boy bare.
Severus watched his remaining garments come off as if from a distance. He had to keep reminding himself that this was real, that even Sirius Black wouldn't take a prank this far, that he was about to be shagged by the same damn Black. For the first time in his life, Severus didn't know exactly what to do, but he still wanted it to happen, even if it had to be with Sirius.
There was a too-long silence after the last of his clothes were tossed away, and Severus looked up to find Sirius' pale grey eyes roaming over his body. The uncharacteristically blank look on Sirius' face as he did this made Severus flush as he considered how he might look to Sirius. Long and stringy, with muscles barely defined by stirring, walking and a metabolism he couldn't be arsed to keep up with, Severus knew he didn't have much to offer. He felt like a crude copy of Sirius, faded and rough along the edges, as if someone had rubber-stamped him into existence just after the Gryffindor without renewing the ink. Sirius was taller, his musculature more refined, hair fine and mobile, teeth straight, nose...normal.
Sirius was everything Severus might have been in a different genetic lottery; how could Severus not shrink under such a gaze? But shrink he did not, for the Slytherin was far too proud to let Sirius see how inadequate he felt. Instead, Severus lifted his chin and looked down his nose at Sirius, putting on his best impatient glare and hoping the flush across his cheeks could be ignored or attributed to the roaring fire opposite the bed. It was that look, the display of Severus' false bravado, that snapped Sirius from his stare and brought back the almost gentle smile to his face.
"Not as bad as I thought, Snape. I think I can get it up for you." Sirius batted at his rigid cock, which swung back and forth comically, and Severus couldn't hold back a snort that could have been mistaken for a laugh.
"Get on with it, then, and quit showing off, you preening pillock!" Following orders, Sirius laid himself down on Severus and began again at the top, kissing and licking Severus' lips, neck, nipples while their hips moved against each other in ways that made Severus' head spin. Already, it was the best sex he could imagine, and they hadn't even really gotten to it yet.
After being hard for so long, Severus quickly felt his orgasm approaching. He tapped Sirius on the back with increasing urgency until the other boy pulled away, looking slightly annoyed. "What- Oh. So go ahead and come. I was going to."
Severus lifted up to his elbows, panting between words with an indignant tone in his voice. "I thought we were going to shag!"
"We will, but I said I wanted you out of my system." Sirius nipped Severus' bicep and kept rubbing against Severus, not wanting to lose the slick heat they'd already created. "I'll never last if I don't rub one off before I get inside you."
Sirius gave a particularly heavy, fast thrust that forced Severus' mind back in favour of the delicious pressure against his cock. As Sirius worried the skin along the straight muscle above Severus' armpit, the Slytherin shuddered, his senses finally overloaded by the pleasure-pain of Sirius' gnawing teeth as he came. He had just enough coherent thought left to remember to keep pressing up into Sirius, and soon the other boy also barked out his orgasm. Then Sirius collapsed on him and they lay panting for long minutes as pools of come mingled on their bellies.
"That's better," Sirius said breathlessly. Just as Severus was considering finding his wand to clean them up, Sirius slid down his body and began licking him clean, tongue reaching out almost shyly until the first lap seemed to convince Sirius that they didn't taste so bad. The sight of the beautiful boy kneeling over him, happily sucking semen from his skin made Severus' cock twitch. In a few more minutes, Severus was hard but feeling less urgency than before, and he could see glimpses of Sirius' shaft bouncing against his abdomen while he worked.
Severus ventured fingers down along Sirius' ribs until he felt wetness, and he pulled them back up and put them in his mouth before he could reconsider what he was about to taste. Only, Sirius didn't have a flavour that different from his own, and Severus found himself mildly disappointed alongside the relief that he was somewhat normal in that regard. Shouldn't Hogwarts' golden boy taste like sunlight or something?
When Sirius finished, he again sat back on his knees, and now Severus could clearly see that he was ready for another go. Only, the taller boy simply rested, and he appeared to be looking past Severus' body at the bed's headboard. A kernel of doubt wormed itself into Severus' thoughts, causing him to lift his fingers again, this time to brush down Sirius' side. Perhaps he wasn't doing something right -- or maybe it was Sirius who didn't know what to do next.
"Black, you have done this before, right?"
"Yeah." An elegant shrug. "Once."
"Once?!"
Sirius closed his eyes for a moment, then he moved over Severus' body to grab something off the bedside table. When he sat back up, he was holding a vial of what Severus assumed was some sort of lubricant. Even the boys in the showers had used something to ease the way from time-to-time, and whatever was in the vials looked far less painful to use than soap.
"Just trust me, all right?" Sirius asked, waggling the bottle before Severus' eyes. "I don't want to mess up your first time either."
Severus stopped breathing. He was sure Sirius would know about him, but he didn't think the Scion of the House of Black would give Severus' virginity serious consideration. With a shuddery breath, Severus let his head drop with a thump on the duvet. He could end this now, but he'd already shown his throat to his greatest enemy. No one, not his parents, professors or dormmates, had seen Severus as vulnerable as Sirius had already. He might as well get his first shag out of it.
There must have been something on Severus' face, because Sirius looked wounded all of a sudden. "I could have hurt you already. If you don't want this, or maybe because it's me, then-"
"Black. Black!" Instinct landed Severus' fingertips along the line of the pulse on Sirius' neck, quieting the other boy. Without his usual rancor, his next words sounded faint even in Severus' ears. "Just get on with it."
The preparation went better than Severus had thought it would. He'd used his own fingers before, so the sensation of being breached with one had been familiar. By the time Sirius had three digits in him, though, the slide and flexing made Severus squirm. That was when Black pulled out his fingers and added a pillow beneath Severus' hips and an extra layer of lube to his cock. It was extraordinarily messy, but the steady sinking of a cock into Severus' arse only made it burn for a few minutes. He couldn't imagine drawing that pain out by going any slower.
When the ache receded, Severus was able to feel how good it was to be filled. There was pressure and connection at the same time, and when Severus looked up, it was to find Sirius watching him closely. He thought Sirius was going to speak, but then he lowered his head, practically bending Severus in two, and claimed his mouth, the angle not allowing him close enough for more than a sloppy kiss that ended in a pop and a lick around the rim of Severus' now-red, puffy lips.
Severus wanted to sputter, but Sirius sat up and began to move after that, and Severus decided it was the most intelligent decision Sirius had ever made. He didn't know what to do with his hands, so he put them over Sirius', which were holding the other boy's legs open and back. There was a moment when Severus was able to think that he'd never known men could be face-to-face, and then Sirius shifted and the Slytherin had no choice but to arch almost completely off the bed with a loud moan.
An unholy grin graced Sirius' face then, and he devoted the next few minutes to hitting that spot inside Severus over and over again. Severus' hair was being pulled, caught under one of his shoulder-blades, and his foot cramped so hard after he curled it that he thought it would snap in two, but those discomforts were miles away from the sharp, bright spikes of pleasure Sirius' length was spreading through him. Severus' own cock reawakened after flagging somewhat during the initial penetration, and he dared to wonder if he could endure touching it while he was being so relentlessly stimulated elsewhere.
Sirius' large hand closed over Severus before he could decide, and it was like triggering an earthquake inside him. This was no mere rubbing against a solid, warm thigh, this was like all the magic in the world had decided to land itself on Severus. Sweating and shuddering, Severus felt the liquid heat spread throughout his body pulled down to his cock and bollocks until they couldn't contain the heavy throb anymore and it had to overflow, pulsing out of Severus in great, stuttering surges. He made choked-off "nnn" noises in the back of his throat, as silent as possible, like any proper Slytherin.
Sirius, on the other hand, seemed to get off just by watching him come, and Severus was treated to the joyous shouts of bliss that came with Sirius' next few thrusts. Severus could still feel Sirius' cock twitching even as both boys dropped Severus' legs, Sirius falling forward on top of him.
Sirius began to laugh, which caused him to slip out of Severus. They were sweaty and covered in come, and Severus was considering throwing him off in favour of a cleansing spell when Sirius found the breath to speak. "Not too shabby, Snape. This might take longer than I thought."
It took a moment for the blissful haze to clear so Severus could remember that Sirius had started this to "get him out of his system".
"Slughorn never checks the dorms when he has one of his parties," Severus said warily.
"Good. I want to try something different next go."
"There's more?"
"Don't you want to do me?"
He did, and after cleaning up and a few hours of awkward napping, Severus did, indeed. It was very late or early morning before Sirius admitted that they might have to meet again to "finish the system flush". Then he fell into a deep slumber, leaving Severus to cast all the spells to make them fresh and comfortable again. Severus laid on the bed, facing Sirius, watching the beautiful boy drool in his sleep, his mind too busy processing what they had just done together to drop off right away.
It wasn't love, nor friendship, but Severus' instincts told him that it might be a little more than shagging. He finally drifted away on the thought that even that much was more than he'd ever allowed himself to dream of having.
He woke up alone to a note saying Sirius would be back with food. Only the wretch never did return, and the next week Sirius watched as Potter pantsed him, upside-down in front of their entire year. Later, Sirius would corner him and whisper about his mates wanting to know which bird he had pulled that night, and how he couldn't, he couldn't tell them. The next time they met in and open hall, Severus surprised Sirius by skipping the hexes, punching him in the face instead. Madame Pomfrey had to fix a nose that was broken in three places, and, for a change, it wasn't Severus'.
In a few months, it was all much, much worse.
The real prank.
A war.
Murder and Azkaban.
Bitterness and insanity.
Death.
All the things that kept people apart for a quarter-century, that killed desire and longing and crushed wounded egos until all that remained was an ember of hope. Hope, and maybe something left unsaid but still burning bright just the same.
It was a pool of light that Severus landed in with Sirius in his arms, both naked and covered in ethereal goo.
Severus had researched and refined the theory for years, and, by his logic, it was Dumbledore that should have been lying with him at the foot of the Veil in the Department of Mysteries. But the stubborn old fool had pushed Sirius into Severus just as the potion wore off and the spell triggered to pull them back to reality.
What should have only worked for Dumbledore worked for Sirius as well, and while Severus struggled with the implications, he still placed his hand on the back of Sirius' head and held him steady while the other man sputtered and coughed out eight years of Veilspace.
Strong emotion -- strong, positive, emotion -- had to be brewed into the potion that made Severus discorporate for his journey into the Veil. The feelings had to be powerful enough to attract someone Severus would wish to bring back from the purgatory of unnatural magical deaths that the Veil contained.
One person was all Severus could hope to rescue, ever, although the act would then tell him if he could withstand more than one trip. By all rights, this had been Severus' only chance to release someone he cared about from an unending afterlife. And Albus had refused him and foisted Sirius, the only other spirit who had been drawn to Severus, on him instead.
Severus was too old to pretend not to know why Sirius' spirit had come to his in the Veilspace. Instead, he held the other man close and pondered what he would do next. Try to go back? Work on developing his potion so that others could do what he did? Find a way to destroy the Veilspace so that the trapped spirits could move on to a true afterlife and possible rebirth?
Sirius answered the immediate question for him by lifting his head and regarding Severus with bright, focused eyes. "Get out of your head, Snape!" Severus gave Sirius his most loathsome glare. "Better. Now, where's my wand? You look like shit." With a roll of his eyes, the ex-spy summoned his own wand and handed it to Sirius, who easily cast a few scourgifies in the direction of Severus' head. The slime had receded, but Severus' hair almost stood on end before he took the wand away from Sirius, who, of course, managed to look sleek and glistening under a layer of clear, sticky goo.
"Hey, what about me?"
"I believe it is my wand, mutt. It will have to be a flea bath for you."
"Flea bath!" Sirius made a grab for the wand and soon they were wrestling as if decades hadn't passed between matches. This time, however, the struggle ended much more quickly, with Sirius' mouth closed over Severus', the memory of a single night clearly not lost nor forgotten as their lips and tongues claimed the other in perfect confidence.