I've made some adjustments to the list (I don't want to be too restrictive and I do want to be more inclusive for all sane Snape fans). Feel free to let me know if you think I've deleted something crucial or left in something frivilous. ;)
IA that Snape's early love was definitely flawed and did not completely pass the I Corinthians 13 test. (There was definitely some fail there.) ^_^'
I believe it was sincere enough that I personally don't chalk even his earlier love up to 'pretty much an obsession' (but I'm a huge Severus/Lily shipper, so I'm biased there, LOL). I do agree that him joining a racist organization was a big disconnect from caring about her as a person (he definitely wasn't respecting her there, to say the least - ugh, I just want to whack Snape upside the head, hard). I chalk it [Snape's selfishness/thoughtlessness with regard to Lily] up to severly borked priorities and compartmentalizing, but that's me and I totally understand that YMMV as to how flawed love can be and still be called love.
I agree that Snape loved Lily. That he did came out in the end, when Lily's death made him reevaluate his actions and turn to the side of good. But his tragedy is that it took the death of the person he loved by his actions to make him actually care about her and what she would have wanted.
I think that's a really good and interesting insight. I pretty much agree (except for my softer view of his earlier love, lol).
I'll have to make "Snape and Lily" the next topic for discussion, as I'm very interested in hearing all the various opinions from sane Snape fans on 'Snape and Lily', without the crazy fen derailing the discussion with misogynistic hoo-ha.