Secret Snarry: FIC: A Sort-Of Christmas Story Title: A Sort-Of Christmas Story Author:lelek Gift Recipient:knowmefirst Rating: PG Word count: 755 Warning(s): (highlight for spoilers) *None!* Summary/Prompt: Sigh-up 12: a kiss goodnight. Severus never made anything easy, why should Christmas be any different? A/N: The beginning seems a bit unhappy, but I promise it all ends for the best! I hope you like it!
A Sort-Of Christmas Story
Everyone always said that Christmas wasn't meant to be a time for fighting. Everyone always said it was meant to be a time of joy and togetherness, of peace on earth and good will and other warm and wonderful things. A time to be happy with the ones you loved.
Everyone, however, had not met Severus Snape.
"Look," Harry said, tired and still a bit unsteady from the mulled wine he'd had at Ron and Hermione's Christmas Eve party, "just because you don't like Christmas doesn't mean the rest of us have to sit at home and sulk all night."
"Kindly refrain from putting words in my mouth," Severus replied in a low voice, leaning against the kitchen table on the other side of the room. "Did I ever say anything to that effect?"
"You didn't have to!" Harry snapped. "It was written all over your face as soon as I came back and I don't understand what happened." He raked his hands back through his hair. "Did I stay out too late, is that it?"
Severus sighed. "Leave it, Potter. You had a good time with your friends. Isn't that what this ridiculous holiday is for?"
Harry scowled at him. "It's also for having a good time with your lover, which, you know, would be you."
"No one forced you to go." Severus wasn't quite looking at him, gaze fixed somewhere over Harry's right shoulder.
"I asked you if you minded and you said no! What, do you expect me to read your mind now?"
"No, I rather think your disastrous attempt to learn Occlumency more than demonstrated your skills in that arena," he sneered. But Harry knew him now, knew the thousand little changes that made up his expressions, and he could tell it wasn't completely sincere.
"I would have stayed home, if you'd asked me to." He rubbed the side of his nose, not so much angry as sad. "Do we really have to fight like this? It's Christmas Eve, Severus, and I was hoping we'd actually get to enjoy it."
"That was your first mistake," Severus scoffed. "Or second, rather. The first being your decision to shack up with me at all. A blunder you are, of course, free to rectify at any time."
It was Harry's turn to sigh, and he did. "Don't say things like that. I know you don't mean it. We've fought too damn hard for this."
"Why shouldn't I mean it?" He looked at Harry directly for the first time since they'd started arguing. "We've spent our entire lives fighting. Don't you ever think it might be enough?"
Silence reigned for several seconds, then Severus spoke again, voice softer, almost kind, "You must know I would never force you to stay, if you wanted to go."
Harry stared him down. "And you must know I wouldn't stay if that were the case."
Severus nodded stiffly and they were quiet again until Harry's shoulders slumped. "All this, and it seems like we're never really happy."
Severus arched an eyebrow. "You were expecting otherwise? I don't know if you've noticed, but I am not a happy man by default. But it hardly matters. This… thing we have between us, it isn't about happiness."
"Oh yeah?" Harry crossed his arms, even though he thought he knew what Severus was getting at. "What's it about, then?"
Severus pushed himself away from the table and crossed the room in two long strides. He reached out and brushed Harry's fringe back, his long fingers with their blunt yellowed nails gentle against his skin. Like a butterfly's wings, or snow. He leaned close and pressed his lips against Harry's forehead.
"Use your brain. I'm sure you have one somewhere."
Harry didn't rise to the bait. Instead, he tilted his head back to met Severus' gaze and they stared at each other for a long moment. Then he got up on his toes and kissed him properly, bridging the last of the distance between them.
"It's about love," he whispered as he slid one hand around the back of Severus' neck. "Love and hope."
Severus' shivered almost imperceptibly. "You said it, not me." He kissed him again, quick and light. Then he pulled away and something that wasn't quite a smirk and wasn't quite a smile crossed his face.
"Come along, you incorrigible brat. It's late and I want to go to bed."
Harry grinned at that and reached for Severus' hand right as the clock struck twelve. "Happy Christmas to you, too."