SNARRY SWAP: Gift for: calanor, "Silent Memories" Title: Silent Memories Author:silenceberry Gift Recipient:calanor Other pairings/threesome: None Rating: R Word count: 1,218 Warning(s): (highlight for spoilers) *sex (but not graphic), fluff, ooc, angst* Summary:"For it was not into my ear you whispered, but into my heart. It was not my lips you kissed, but my soul." -Judy Garland Disclaimer: The quote on the story is not mine; it's the property of Judy Garland. A/N: I want to say thank you to carolinelamb and Wynterravenheart for being my betas for this fic. Any other errors are mine. To calanor, I wanted to give you something you'll enjoy, especially because you asked for romance. I hope I have captured what you like. I wanted to add the things you enjoy, but that Snape is not a very accommodating guy, is he? I hope you enjoy it :). Mods, thank you for letting me be part of this wonderful exchange.
Silent Memories
“For it was not into my ear you whispered, but into my heart. It was not my lips you kissed, but my soul.” ~ Judy Garland
How was it that the feel of skin against skin felt so sweet, and the barest of touches alone could bring forth an orgasm that was so intense, so fulfilling? Who would have thought that he would be here under this tree, under the night sky? No one, not even he had known.
The feel of lips on his skin was like fire, burning where they touched and marking him. This mark was branded on his skin and soul for eternity, and he knew that no one after Harry could erase or change it. While the mark on his arm was visible to anyone, the one on his heart, body, and soul was only for him to ever see and feel.
The movement of Harry’s manhood as it slid inside him was so sweet and tender that it almost brought tears to his eyes; he felt as if he was the instrument and Harry the conductor that brought the sweet melodies forth. Harry knew how to play him, what to touch and how to move, how to make him moan. Severus wrapped his legs around Harry's waist as he moved slowly up and down.
As Severus bent his back and closed his eyes for the second time, he wondered if he could feel like this, feel alive, with someone else. He moaned as they moved slowly, wanting at the same time to open his eyes so he could capture this moment forever. When he did open them, he could see Harry’s gaze resting on him as he let go of his inhibitions with such abandonment that Severus couldn’t do anything else but bite his lip and hold in his scream.
Was it fire or was it ice? Whatever it was, it was intense. He didn’t know anymore where one begun and the other ended. He took Harry's lips and kissed him deeply, moaning when their tongues started a duel for dominance that he knew he had lost before the fight had even begun.
He looked into Harry’s eyes as their speed increased and knew without a doubt that he was lost forever and his heart along with him. He threw back his head, looked at the sky, and saw the waning moon. When he looked down again, he noticed for the first time that they were bathed in silvery moonlight. The Moon had been the only one to witness their joining, and the Moon had been the only one to see how he lost his heart and soul forever.
They finally reached their release, muffling their screams with their mouths so no one could hear them. They both shattered, came apart in that moment of blinding light.
With his body still trembling, he brought their foreheads together as they struggled to catch their breath. He brought his hand up and gently touched Harry’s lips, tracing them with his fingertip. Then he dropped his hand and closed his eyes as he took a steadying breath.
After a while he moved gently away from Harry and got up; he put his clothes on in silence and listened as Harry moved and, judging by the rustle of clothes, also started getting dressed. When the final button was in its place and no wrinkles could be seen, he turned around. He took in the scars that littered Harry's body and that, a few minutes ago, he had felt under his hands. If he licked his lips, he knew he could still taste Harry and even smell him on his body.
“Severus, I—”
“Don’t say anything,” he placed a finger over Harry’s lips.
He did not want to hear it; he did not want this to be spoiled by questions. He wanted to preserve it just as it was, an incredible magical night where, for the first time, he had been freed.
“We cannot leave like this. We need to talk.”
“Yes, we can.”
“Severus, we have to talk. I want answers. I want to know what happened here.”
He looked down at the hand that was placed on his arm. He could feel the heat passing through the layers of fabric and his body wanted, yearned to feel Harry again inside him, to lose himself in his embrace.
“There is nothing to talk about,” he whispered.
“Yes there is. What was that?”
“Sex.”
“No, that was more than sex and you know it. Sex doesn’t feel like that.”
He turned away leaving him and walked as fast as he could until he reached Hogwarts. He walked inside where he hid in the shadows and looked back at Harry. He wanted to scream, but all he could do was to be thankful that, for just a few hours, he had been free to feel and free to love and that, for a few minutes, he had been able to forget everything around them.
He closed his eyes, and when he opened them he saw Harry picking up his coat. With a final look to the school and a silently whispered goodbye, he left.
* * * * *
He walked, neither knowing nor caring where he was going. He needed to forget, needed to move on. And yet he couldn’t. Everywhere he went, he could feel him, see him, and hear him. Then suddenly he found himself standing under the same tree where a week earlier his life had changed. He felt the same, but at the same time so different. When before, everything had been dark and lonely, without any hope, it now felt as if he was walking through a long tunnel at the end of which he knew there could be a light for him if only could find the courage to walk towards it.
Who was he anyway? He didn’t know anymore; he was afraid to find out.
He moved to go, but was turned around by strong, gentle hands until he was looking into his green eyes. Eyes that knew how to make him feel with one look, eyes that were able to see his very soul. His heart started pounding, and he knew he couldn’t win. This fight was not a duel fought with fists or a wand, this fight was about who could go longer without betraying his feelings and maybe this time, only this time, he didn’t quite have what it took.
His heart was whole again. It beat for the first time since it had wanted Lily and now it wanted what Harry could give, and again the fight was lost even before it had started. But for the first time in his life he didn’t care. He didn’t care about being vulnerable in front of someone else. He didn’t care about being burned any longer, about becoming the man he knew he could be if only he could burn along with Harry again and again, for as long as this lasted.
As Harry’s lips descended on his, he felt that wonderful fire in his body he had known that night a week earlier when his heart, body, and soul were forever lost to this man.
Their clothes fell off their bodies, and again Severus's body was the instrument and Harry the conductor that knew how to play the instrument under him.