SNARRY SWAP: Gift for: sealcat, "The Kindergarten Teacher" Title: The Kindergarten Teacher Author:sirei Gift Recipient:sealcat Rating: NC-17 Word count: 10,784 Warning(s): (highlight for spoilers) Implied non-explicit past chan (Harry was 16)*Creature!Severus, implied mpreg.* Summary: Twenty years after The Battle of Hogwarts Harry Potter, unemployed former hero and kindergarden teacher finds employment with the Sedasé, an ancient and infinitely more dangerous race than vampires. The new work environment isn’t the only challenge he has to face. A/N: Couldn't have done it it without my beta carolinelamb and my translator irishpixie.
The Kindergarten Teacher
When Harry's consciousness returned, it was dark and cold. Choking on shadows, he tried to get a better grip on the surface that was carrying him, alerting it to his consciousness.
“I knew you were special,” an unfamiliar voice told him. “He told us all about the trouble you were in but I never thought you'd be that special.” Hoarse laughter drifted around Harry. Not being able to breathe he let himself go, becoming boneless and giving in to his helplessness.
“Don't worry," the voice continued. "It only feels like you are going to choke, and you can't breathe, but soon your lungs will expand to accept the oxygen in here. Mind you, you still have to breathe if you don't want to lose consciousness.”
More laughter echoed in the darkness. But he tried to do as he was told. He began to breathe through the tightness of his throat and ignore the protests of his lungs. At first it burned terribly but after a while he could breathe with more ease.
Before he could utter the question, the creature carrying him said, “I am taking you to our lands, and we are crossing the valley of shadows that no Wizard and no Muggle can cross on his own.”
Harry, unsure if his vocal cords would obey him, only nodded.
He could feel amusement in the darkness around him but he really didn't care at that moment. He tried to move and registered with embarrassment that standing wasn't possible and that his whole body operated differently than it had in the light. Standing wasn't an option. Neither crawling nor swimming, perhaps flowing, would be the best description of what followed. He couldn't move his muscles but it was enough for him to feel he was getting somewhere.
He could feel the amusement and the hidden laughter of his companion. He could also feel others around him, their speed, their movements, even some of their general emotions. As his senses grew overwhelmed with the onslaught of new, alien sensations, his mind wandered back. All the way back to the moment he had read that notice in one of the pamphlets the Ministry gave out to their unemployed citizens. Or maybe he had read it on the announcement board at the Ministry?
It had begun when he'd woken up one day and finally admitted to himself that he was bored by his job as kindergarten teacher. He had been tired and bored for some time, and so he had said his farewell to the Muggle world he had fled to right after the end of the war and had gone back and tried to find a job in the Wizarding world. That world had still remembered him and had, hopeful and greedy for more heroic actions, welcomed him back in their midst.
He still remembered how they had called him “Holy Potter” and had bestowed other undesired titles on him. Still, none of them had hired him, either finding him over-qualified or not experienced enough. After three months of doing nothing except for reconnecting with old friends and looking for what was new, he had had enough.
Desperate, he had even tried the rather unconventional jobs in Knockturn Alley where no-one had asked who he was or where he came from. Sadly those jobs had been not only immoral but also so dangerous that he had relinquished them after a very short time.
Until one evening when he had found a notice that seemed to have been overlooked by everyone else. It promised not only a good wage but also a level of excitement and requested someone willing to take a risk. The position was that of a children’s tutor. The students, however, would not only be Muggles, the notice had warned. Filled with an inner desire that he could not explain, he had contacted the employer about the job and within an hour he had received a date for an interview. A chain of peculiar meetings with his future employers had promptly followed.
Sometimes he had been downright terrified as he was briefed on all aspects of his contract and the peculiarities of his employers.
When he'd first heard of their nocturnal life and bloodsucking feeding habits, he had assumed them to be vampires. They had laughed at that and told him they were more dangerous than vampires, so ancient that there were many names for their species. They called themselves "Sedasé" which in their language meant "The Immortals". Unlike humans they couldn’t die of old age or illness. Unlike other Dark Creatures they could not be killed with a wooden stake, silver bullets or decapitation.
Injuries would cause them pain, but not permanently, and their wounds healed faster as well. They weren’t vampires. Vampires were cursed, sired. Sedasé were born with their powers.
The only way to kill them was with a difficult to produce elixir called "Fyrglóm" and long, extended exposure to the sun. During their adolescence, which began later and lasted much longer than the puberty of humans, they became allergic and sensitive to the light. The children were still immune to the fatal powers of the sun and to the fatigue that befell the elders as soon as the sun climbed higher in the sky. Because of this, Harry learned, all lessons would take place from noon until the late afternoon.
He'd also learned he would be responsible for a total of eight children during that time — three Sedasé children and five Muggle children living in the area — which comprised more than a hundred acres, a lot of land even for their species.
After that, their parents would be able to take care of them again.
They insisted on a curfew that was to come into effect immediately after his arrival and last at least several months for the security of both sides. As a human he would be considered prey, he was told. When he became wary, they assured him that he would have free rein regarding the education of the children in his care.
* * * * *
Light bathed Harry, and pulled him from his thoughts. Shortly thereafter, he faced a huge mansion which he could hardly see as he struggled effect of the setting sun after so much time in darkness.
"Welcome to the 'House of Dreams' Harry Potter", said a slightly amused voice somewhere in front of Harry. When his vision finally returned, he noticed the people who stood in front of him.
Among them were more men than women. It had been explained to Harry that the Sedasé birth rate was low and only one in ten births was a girl. Some men waited centuries for the birth of their mate. The women smiled at him, and the men looked serious but not unfriendly toward him. He only knew a few of them, mostly those who had interviewed and brought him there. But what took his breath away moments later was not the huge house or the beauty of the people around him. It was the magical atmosphere which presented itself to him as an old friend and enveloped him in a warm sensation of tenderness and familiarity.
He had never felt that way. Not even when he'd first gone to Hogwarts, the only place he had called home as a child.
But that comforting presence fled his mind as soon as he caught a glimpse of someone who stood off to the side from them. Despite the distance, Harry could have sworn he could smell the scent of herbs and potions, a smell he swore he would recognise anywhere, anytime, a smell that could only belong to one person. A sharp pain went through his chest: before his mind remembered, his heart had. But this man had died twenty years earlier. Harry’s mind was reeling.
"Severus Snape,” he said slowly. “Is … is this really you?"
But there could be no doubt.
The familiar face with the big nose, the glittering black eyes with a touch of amber, the long black hair and the black robes he had also worn in Hogwarts (over twenty years ago, Harry’s mind supplied, incredulous) made it absolutely clear that this was Severus Snape. It had been years since Harry had made his peace with Snape's memory, had mourned and let go of his unfulfilled longings.
"Snape?” he said again, not knowing what else to say. “You’re … ” He broke off, not wanting to say “dead” since it was an unmistakeable fact that the man standing in front of him was very much alive. But if Severus Snape was a Sedasé as well … could he be called alive?
The slight shift of weight was the only thing that betrayed Snape’s nervousness before he glided in a graceful movement towards Harry.
“It’s good to see that at least someone will finally care about the education of the children. It's high time someone tamed these little miscreants and showed them what real authority figures are as some people are not capable of doing so."
Quietly the others who had welcomed him before left as if they did not want to disrupt the reunion between them.
"So this is where you've been the whole time.” Harry said slowly. “We all thought you were dead. I thought you were dead. Did you ever give a thought about me or try to inform someone else about your presence here?"
Anger replaced shock for Harry.
The Vanquisher of Voldemort stared at the man who had once vowed, promised him that they would have a future together once the Dark Lord was defeated. Snape’s promise had been a light even in the darkest times, and only because of it had he soldiered on, running, searching, fighting … only to see the man he had loved so dearly, dying in his arms.
He had mourned Snape alone, had withdrawn from the others who had celebrated the end of the war, exuberant, with not much care for the death of a bitter, lonely spy. Maybe it had been Snape’s death that had made him bitter too, impatient with the uncaring way the Wizarding world resumed their old ways without learning from past mistakes. What had he killed for? What had Snape died for? He had found himself unable to endure this new order and had turned away from the magical world.
Now, Snape stood before him and had the gall to act as if nothing had happened. Furious, he clenched his hands into fists. "I thought Nagini’s bite had killed you! Why didn't you try to tell me and let me know you were alive and well! Or told someone else so they could have contacted me? Was it your plan all along to let me kill Voldemort and then run off? Did you just use me?" Harry knew he was shouting and at the edge of hysteria but he couldn’t have cared less.
Severus said nothing. His silence was more than enough answer for Harry. He could only see scorn and disgust in Severus' eyes. He didn't seem even remotely sorry for deceiving him, for causing him grief.
However, although he would have liked to never see this man again, he had an obligation to the children. Dismissing his former lover with a glare, he turned to walk to the house where the others were probably already waiting for him.
Before he could go more than a few steps, he was embraced by two strong arms. He tried to resist, but Snape refused to let go. And while Harry was cursing himself for his weakness, his body went limp and he leaned into the embrace, soaking up the heat of Snape’s body and that familiar herbal scent. A strangled sob escaped him.
It had been so long.
Through his haze, he noticed that Severus bent his head to sniff slowly and deeply at Harry’s neck. "I was afraid," Snape growled, his voice slightly muffled as he buried his nose into Harry’s soft neck.
Harry closed his eyes, shivering against his will.
"Sedasé have only one true companion. Be it a man or a woman, they will always recognise him or her, remember their smell, their whole being. I did die from the bite but then … something happened to me. I had changed. After I woke up and found out that I was a Sedasé, I was afraid to return to you. What would have happened if you weren't my mate, and I found someone else here? It would have hurt you either way, but I thought if I were dead to the whole world, you too could move on. That it would be better than knowing I was still alive but living with another lover.”
Snape paused for a moment. “And then we needed a human teacher for our young ones, rather urgently. We had to run ads and announce the position at the Ministry. Not only were you the first to apply, you also passed each test with ease.
“You are immune to all of our mind manipulations and enchantments; something that every teacher of the little monsters needs to be. That proves you are one of the few people who can be turned into a Sedasé. At eighteen, you were incredibly naive and had such a zest for life that I sometimes doubted you could ever be satisfied with me, your old potions professor who had done and seen far more than anyone ever should. Now, at thirty-five, you are a grown man and almost more beautiful than I can bear to see.”
Harry shook his head, dizzy. What was Snape saying?
“Harry,” Snape whispered urgently. “Let me show you what to expect if you give me a chance. Let me in."
Harry was confused. At first he had understood the words that came out of Snape's mouth, but now he could only feel the predator-like purring and soft vibrations against his back.
"Now wait a minute!" With a sharp elbow strike Harry freed himself from Snape’s sweet, intoxicating embrace and quickly moved away from him. The further he went, the clearer his thoughts became.
"So you left me because of an unfounded fear and now you want my blood to feed on? Tell me did this near death experience addle your brain or were you always this crazy?" Furious, Harry's eyes narrowed. He did not understand everything Snape had said, but he had understood his intentions. He not only wanted Harry as his bed companion but also as a food source. Once upon a time he would have jumped to have this chance with Snape, but after all these years, this was too sudden.
“You can forget that, Snape!” Harry spat venomously, then took a deep breath. “I'll go in now, get to know my future students, and you'll stay away from me, okay? As far as I know you have to respect such boundaries - particularly those of employees, don’t you?" Harry turned on his heels and nearly ran to the house. Before he entered, he stopped and calmed himself. If he was too agitated, not only the highly sensitive children but also the others would respond to it immediately.
He distracted himself by looking at the building. The manor house was at least three stories high and had windows on all sides. From where he was standing, he could see the heavy, thick curtains and wooden, dark blinds that hindered the sun from lighting up the interior. Only on the third floor were the curtains made from lighter material so the sun could shine unhindered into the house.
The third floor belonged exclusively to the employees, and one of the six apartments had been fixed up for his use. Two of the other apartments were occupied by two couples and their five children. One couple took care of the household while the other took care of the gardens which were wide and surrounded by a high wall of trees and shrubs. The children were all taught at home, and he had been informed that the Sedasé and the human children would be schooled together.
When he opened the main door the woman who had greeted him at the beginning introduced herself, “I am Elise.” Then she took Harry’s hand and shook it warmly. Harry smiled at her. It did not escape his notice that everyone seemed to answer to her call.
“This here,” and she gestured towards a tall man standing beside her, “is Kilian.”
She then continued to introduce the children, who were lined up in front of him and were beaming up at him. It was hard, if not impossible, to tell the Sedasé and the Muggle children apart.
When he was shaking the hands of the others who lived in the house, Harry had a hard time remembering the names.
“Francesca, Daniel,” he murmured to a couple clasping their hands. “Nice to meet you.”
“They were the teachers before,” Elise explained. “But now they have to maintain the garden, too, and it’s quite a lot of work.”
“You’ve got a lot of land,” Harry said.
Everyone was smiling a great deal and seemed content.
* * * * *
After Harry had met everyone, Elise dismissed them and the children rushed to the stairs before she had even finished speaking. She turned to a couple whose names he remembered as Michelle and Jacob. “Would you please prepare the... refreshments?”
For some reason, Michelle and Jacob seemed to be upset with Elise but didn’t protest. They only nodded curtly to Harry and disappeared.
Harry found that odd. Elise smiled at him with a very wide smile that exposed her slightly pointed canines perfectly. It reminded Harry to be prepared for everything. After all they were still Dark Creatures — cultured Dark Creatures, but dangerous all the same.
"Michael is our son and lives here with us. He will be primarily responsible for the children's physical exercises. Please come to the salon while we have refreshments, and you can ask us anything you like."
With a flick of her hand, a door opened onto an opulent salon. In addition to sofas and chairs, there was a huge fireplace. Above it hung a huge tapestry, which pictured an ocean and a white beach lit in moonlight. Without hesitation, Elise went to a table where two bottles and six glasses stood. One bottle contained an amber-colored liquid, and the other a clear one. Harry was ready to explain to Elise that he didn’t drink alcohol, but Elise did not ask. Instead, she filled one glass with the dark liquid. A slight apprehension that Harry hadn’t noticed before evaporated from the room. Everyone present looked relieved... or resigned. She handed everyone present a glass of that dark liquid. Only one glass remained on the table and Harry knew suddenly who would join them. As if he had summoned him, Severus entered the room and took the last glass.
Harry noted with relief that Snape respected his wishes and did not attempt to touch him.
“To Harry and our hopefully long and successful relationship with him." Elise sent a warning glance to Severus who had just opened his mouth, and he immediately closed it with a click before drinking to the toast. They all emptied their glasses. And, after a slight hesitation, Harry drank, too. The liquid tasted sweet with a light sourness which was pleasant and prickled like champagne on his tongue. It was like biting into a sweet orange with the tartness of a grapefruit. In all it tasted so good that Harry was disappointed when his glass was empty.
Elise smiled warmly at Harry and asked, “Did you like it? It’s our own vintage. We grow the plant in a cavern under the house. That way it isn’t bound to the seasons, and we can grow it any time. Also it contains no alcohol which means our children can drink it. But we usually give it to them only on special occasions.”
“How do you grow them without sun? That must be hard,” Harry heard himself ask. “May I have another glass? Its taste is really exquisite.”
Amusement spread through the room but Elise only shook her head. “I am sorry Harry but we limit the use of it to just once a day. You can have some more for breakfast tomorrow. For humans it can be slightly intoxicating as well as addictive. But don’t worry. I am sure that will be no problem for you.”
With that Elise turned around and went to a cabinet on the side. “Do you want something else to drink? Maybe a whisky or bourbon? Or perhaps a juice or soft drink of some kind? As we live together with human children, we have nearly every kind of drink you can think of. Regrettably I have become addicted to the taste of diet Coke and can’t bear to be without a daily dose.” Laughter filled the room and Elise smoothly filled the glasses of the others around her. Harry just shook his head and declined. “No thank you. I believe I’ll savour the taste of your special vintage.”
With a nod, Elise took his glass and placed it on a table. Only the clinking of the glasses could be heard as Severus and Kilian toasted to each other. The two of them shared a long look before speaking quietly with each other. Harry couldn’t see more of them as two Sedasé stood right in front of him.
“How exactly did you decide to become a teacher? Your former career showed you to be extraordinary in the defence of your people. You seemed to be cut out for the life of a soldier or an Auror. Why didn’t you follow that path?” Elise and another woman looked curiously at him.
“While some really thought that by killing a Dark Lord a career with the Aurors would be my fancy, I was fed up with looking for dark wizards and living with the danger. With death. The choice to become a teacher wasn’t something I had ever thought of, but a friend suggested that after leading a defence group and teaching them it might be something I would like. Especially after I decided to leave the wizarding world, I thought it prudent to live without the shadows of war and nurturing the next generation who wouldn't be growing up in that chaos. Maybe my own childhood had something to do with it as well. but in any event, it was the right decision.”
Both women were touched by his story and told him how glad they were to have such a fine teacher for their children. Harry smiled but felt the tiredness of the day. After the travel through the shadows and the shock of seeing Snape again, he felt a bit overwhelmed.
Soon Elise bid everyone a good night. “Let me escort you to your apartment,” she offered and Harry followed her after bidding good night to everyone as well (except Severus, whom he studiously ignored).
Kreacher had already unpacked Harry’s luggage and set the apartment up for him. When Elise showed Harry his apartment, she handed him the key and then proceeded to explain where the main dining room was and the somewhat unorthodox meal times.
“You should know that, due to our different daily rhythm, lunch takes place at eight o' clock in the evening. Although we could live only on blood, we think it is important for our children to eat together as well to socialise regularly with our human employees. Our children only start to drink blood when they hit puberty so they need good meals before then. Also, we try to keep in mind where we come from and that everything on this planet has value. Many Sedasé women were human once and became one of our own through a ritual. However, a woman can only be transformed under certain conditions, and one of them is that she has to have a Sedasé mate. Anyone who is a mate of one of us will be transformed within two weeks."
Harry noticed that Elise’s gaze held a nervousness but he did not understand it. The talk about mating habits was intriguing but she seemed to deliver each bit of information as if it was relevant to him.
“I see,” he said politely. “And they are always transformed? Within two weeks? What if the person doesn't want to be transformed, or doesn’t like his or her mate?”
Sighing, Elise motioned Harry to open the door so they could continue the conversation in his apartment.
The two sat on the sofa, which was in front of the fireplace. The crackling fire and the flickering flames were absorbed by the room and lent it a slightly sinister mood.
“There's really no choice,” she explained softly. “The Sedasé has two weeks to teach his mate what he is and what is expected of him. If he isn’t able to manage this, the elders will step in. Sometimes we intervene directly if we think that the Sedasé has no chance of convincing his mate due to previous disagreements, accidents or differences.
As you already know, Sedasé children are indistinguishable from human children. It is still unclear when exactly the Sedasé blood awakens, but most say that a life threatening situation or a shift in perception kick-starts the beginning of puberty. Therefore, we can only estimate the timing of puberty roughly between the first thirty and ninety years of life. Puberty lasts between five and ten years, but cases vary.”
Elise smiled mischievously. “I can tell you sometimes I do not know who is more mature. Kilian or Michael.” She giggled suddenly and then smiled, and Harry realised that the two men had just sent her a few words about being mature through the connection between them.
She became serious and took one of Harry's hands. “While we obviously look like humans we are nothing but predators. Still, we never tap into the minds of our employees or use them to feed on. But we need a sample of blood from each of our employees. A few drops are sufficient for us. That way we can implement a connection to you which always lets us know where you are and whether you are in danger. Or even whether you are a danger to us and our children. We have only a few children and even with our long lifespan, our species has become almost extinct so we must protect ourselves at all cost.” Elise paused and took a deep breath. “I must ask for a donation of blood from you, Harry."
When Harry hesitated, his brow furrowed, she added: “I would never endanger the life of an employee.”
Slowly he nodded.
Elise raised Harry's hand to her mouth and sank her fangs into the back of his hand. Harry winced as her teeth pierced through his flesh, but almost immediately a cloying heaviness came over him and he could barely keep his eyes open. Tired, he slumped onto Elise’s shoulder. Only a few moments passed before Elise withdrew her teeth and someone else joined them. A groan escaped Harry as strong arms embraced and lifted him up. Just at the edge of his mind, he could hear a whispered conversation. He recognised Elise's voice which sounded angry and annoyed; the other was deeper and smoother-sounding though the precise words were alien to his thoughts. Soon it was silent again. And then a part of his mind registered the sensation of being carried until someone placed him on a smooth surface.
He felt the mattress dip a bit under the weight of another body next to him and hot breath on his neck. A large body lay half on him and where previously hot breath had been, teeth sank into his flesh. Harry felt a brief, sharp pain and right after that seemingly endless ecstasy. As the teeth withdrew, Harry’s mind shut down.
The last thing he felt was a hand caressing the bite marks on his left hand.
*****
There was loud chirping and a gnarled little hand that shook him gently awake. “Master, you have exactly one hour to school. You has to get up now!"
Harry turned around and slipped further into the bed, away from Kreacher.
"Please, Harry Potter, you yourself told Kreacher to wake you! Please Master, get up, please!"
Slowly the words penetrated Harry’s throbbing skull, and he groaned in pain. Disoriented, he glanced around the room and saw that he was no longer in Grimmauld Place. He remembered the previous evening. The surprising meeting with Severus Snape, the other Sedasé, Elise sucking his blood … But of what had occurred afterward he had no memories. Had Elise taken too much blood from him so that he had fainted? Another thing he couldn’t remember was who had brought him to bed. Kilian, Elise or someone else? Harry shook himself awake. He really did not want to be too late on his first day.
When he caught sight of his reflection in the bathroom mirror over the marble sink he nearly gasped. He was sickly pale, and his eyes had black shadows underneath them.
His first urge was to call in sick but when he thought of what Severus would say and how disappointed he and Elise would be, he decided against it. He found it funny that his feelings towards Severus had changed so drastically overnight but his pounding head wouldn’t let him think clearly. In fact, he could only think about how Severus would worry if he did not get up today and teach the lessons. Any sense of anger or resentment towards him had vanished altogether.
When Harry reached the living room, the table was already set. The breakfast consisted of the traditional toast, bacon and fried eggs. The food looked delicious, and his mouth watered. In addition there was tea and a glass with the same golden liquid Harry had drunk the previous evening. He had to force himself not to empty it in one swig. Instead he slowly sipped it with ecstasy. With each sip the taste changed. It prickled on his tongue and tasted of ripe exotic fruit with a light hint of vanilla. Oddly, when Harry looked at his breakfast again, he nearly became sick. He already felt full, and the breakfast didn't look appealing anymore. How strange. A moment earlier, he had been so hungry. He made a mental note to ask Elise about this drink. Especially about the varying flavour.
In a good mood after breakfast, though he had only eaten a few fruits and drunk a bit of tea, he walked into the classroom on the second floor which was next to the playrooms. The children were already there, eager and filled with expectant curiosity. In order to relax the children, Harry told them what they would learn in the next few weeks and what topics he would like to go through in detail. His ice breaker activity was to play a guessing game with the children. He then sat down and played the Muggle games Memory and Scrabble with them. Relatively quickly, he was able to learn where each child had grown up and what individual peculiarities he needed to watch out for.
“To get to know each other even better we'll play an association game,” Harry began. “I'll say a word, and you'll say the first word that comes into your mind. The one who answered will ask the next question to the person on his or her right. After three rounds, we'll switch directions.” The children who were seated around Harry in a circle looked expectantly at him and nodded. He memorised their names: Cathryn, Emily, Frederic, Jonas, Hugh, Leander and Rose.
“Very well,” he said. “The first word is ‘school’.”
Harry looked at Emily and Frederic, who were as mischievous as the Weasley twins had been. Elise had not exaggerated when she had told him that he would have the most trouble with these two. Already they had tried to disrupt his lesson a few times but after a few time-outs, they had given up. For now. Harry was aware that the truce wouldn’t last. Harry looked at Cathryn who said, “Harry.”
Smiling Harry nodded at her and she broadened her own smile. Biting on her lower lip, she tried to find a new word before she said with a blush, “Kiss."
Emily made a grimace as she said, “Parents.” Still disgusted by the aforementioned word, she chose a different word, “Terrible.”
Frederic shouted in delight and said quickly, “Snail!” before giving Jonas the word, “Fun.”
Then Leander said, “Mate.”
Rose became fidgety and wouldn’t answer even with Harry's coaxing. The other children also became slightly agitated, and Harry decided it would be best to end the game.
“Rose, what is wrong with the word ‘mate’?” The girl shrugged her shoulder, looking at the others. “You know you can say anything that comes to mind, and nobody will be angry at you or judge you because of it.”
Rose looked at her brother.
“She doesn’t want to answer because our parents said we aren’t allowed to know,” he said.
“Ah. I see. But you do know, don’t you?”
The Sedasé children nodded but kept silent. The Muggle twins were not as shy. “We're not allowed to talk about Uncle Severus and why he looks so sad all the time. We're not allowed to ask about mates or what exactly is in the cellar or the other rooms on the first floor or the bottles in the cupboard or why the others are allowed to stay up later at night even though that’s really mean!”
Harry nodded seriously. “And why do you think you aren't allowed to—” Harry stopped suddenly in mid-sentence. While the children looked on curiously, he clearly heard Elise’s voice in his mind. “No more questions, please. You are here to teach them and not to ask them questions. Ask us later, and we will tell you what we can.”
He was mildly shocked at Elise’s presence in his head, at the clarity of her voice, as if she was standing right beside him. But he also felt that he might have overstepped a boundary. Of course he shouldn’t interrogate the children. Strange how his curiosity had gotten the better of him. The rest of the lesson passed with ways to make perfect paper airplanes and other trivial things. The real lessons would begin the next day.
* * * * *
When the first day's lessons ended, the children were released to help their parents in the household, in the garden or to play with Michael. Harry, however, was more tired and exhausted than he had never been before. He had had a hard time not falling asleep during the lessons. Feeling famished, he went in search of the kitchen to look for something to eat. Half an hour later he realised with dismay that he must have taken a wrong turn somewhere because he didn’t recognise where he was.
After half an hour of wandering aimlessly, Harry’s head throbbed relentlessly and he could hardly see. It had been years since he’d last had a migraine. His eyesight was blurry, and he took off his glasses to relax his eyes.
He heard footsteps, but was so tired that all he felt was relief at being found. Feeling someone levitate him into their arms, he tried to look up but could only see a swath of black. It took him a moment to realise that he wasn’t fainting but that he was very close to the black robes of a certain potions master.
"Not you," Harry groaned as he smelled the peppermint and chamomile which were the main ingredients of an anti-migraine potion he knew only too well. He had no choice but to open his mouth as Severus coaxed him into drinking the bitter tasting medicine.
“You are lucky that I was the one who found you, Harry. You really do not want anyone else finding you. Especially since most of the residents either know nothing about healing or think that blood would fix whatever ailment you have.”
Harry leaned against the other man. He was still surprised that within only twenty-four hours his resentment over the way he had been treated by Snape had so completely... vanished. The mix of conflicting emotions he felt for this man was overwhelming. In the end, he thought dazedly, he felt loved. Cared for.
"And what do I owe you for that?" he asked weakly.
Severus snorted incredulously. "If I'd have charged you for everything I have ever done for you, you couldn’t pay me back in three lifetimes.” He smirked. “But I'll still accept your offer and will decide later what exactly it is I want from you."
Harry grimaced but knew better than to argue with Snape. Instead, he pointed to the hallway and said, "The house is too big for me. I was looking for the kitchen and somehow I ended up here.”
Shaking his head, Severus laughed. "You were able to effectively navigate nearly all of the numerous ways in and out of Hogwarts and now you do not even know how to find your way inside this humble abode? I'm shocked.” He tsk-ed.
Harry closed his eyes. The sickness had returned.
Frowning, Severus looked at Harry who was still pale. Worried, he placed a hand on Harry's forehead and noticed that it was too hot. "I'll take you to bed and then call Lisette, our only healer here." Quickly Severus moved with Harry through the shadows around him and laid him on the bed. Unfortunately, the transport worsened Harry’s headache and nausea so much that Harry had to vomit. Severus had the presence of mind to accio the trashcan and vanish the sick.
Harry felt even worse than before and just wanted to rest, but the strong headache and nausea did not leave him alone. He felt a cold cloth on his forehead and sighed with relief as the headache receded a bit. Voices spoke softly in the background but the only thing he really perceived were the cold cloth and a warm hand firmly holding onto his own. At some point he fell into a deep sleep.
* * * * *
For twelve days Harry hovered between waking and deep sleep. Never knowing what was real or not, he experienced bizarre dreams where Severus either took care of him or tried to suck his blood only to be held off by the others. Sometimes Severus looked at him with his black eyes, but when he looked at the others, they were glowing amber. They always maintained the same expression of concern and worry, regardless of the colour.
On the evening of the thirteenth day, Harry woke up. He felt refreshed and perfectly healthy. Lisette, the healer, stood beside his bed and smiled at him as he slowly sat up.
"Finally you're awake. You've been giving us a quite a scare, Harry."
Confused, Harry rubbed the sand from his eyes and looked inquiringly at Lisette.
"You were very sick, Harry. Had we known what we know now, it would have not come to this. We have everything regulated so that today you're full of energy and can get up. Today you can do everything that you want but please rest tomorrow. Everyone is downstairs in the salon, waiting for you.”
* * * * *
After he had showered, Harry felt ready to take on the world. He felt refreshed and healthy.
When he went down to the salon, the Sedasé were already awaiting him. Severus stood farthest from the door and was looking away from Harry. At the mere sight of him, Harry felt hot and cold. Looking around, he could see amusement in the eyes of the others. When Severus shook his head imperceptibly and snorted Harry realised that they must have communicated with Severus the same way Elise had communicated with him. It had to unnerve Severus that he couldn’t hide his feelings from them. When he had still been alive, Severus had been so very private. He would never have shared his feelings with anyone else. Now he was forced to. Harry found the irony mildly entertaining.
The Muggles and the children were absent.
"Harry, it’s wonderful that you feel better!" Elise stood up from her armchair as he came in and embraced him warmly. She smiled at him, but seemed a little nervous. Harry could see that again two bottles and six glasses were standing on the table. This time she chose the clear liquid and poured them each a glass. From the way she carefully handed him the glass he had the impression that the clear liquid was precious, something to savor.
“Sorry but I don't think I feel well enough for anything but water. Please...” The words got stuck in his throat as an intoxicating scent wafted up from the glass in his hand. As if in a trance, he moved the glass to his mouth and downed it in one swig. Before he hadn’t thought himself thirsty, but now his throat felt parched and he welcomed the cool moisture that slowly crept down his throat. Its taste was fruity, with a touch of black currant. The texture was buttery and left a clean aftertaste. He didn't even react to Elise’s words.
"To Harry's health and a long and happy future with him! Cheers!” Everyone downed their glasses in one swig amused by Harry's response to that special drink.
“While we all would have liked to... do this differently, there is no longer any choice. Severus has struggled very much with himself and us... but there is nothing else to be done.” Elise took Harry's arm and looked at him intently. “Next time we meet, I would like to welcome you into this family properly. Until then, be blessed.”
"What do you mean, Elise?" Harry wished the Sedasé would speak more directly. He looked at Snape who avoided his gaze.
But with a shake of her head and a sad smile, Elise put her glass down on the table and left the room. Kilian followed her example, sending Harry a sad look. Only Snape remained standing beside the table.
Suddenly Harry felt anger bubbling inside him. He didn’t remember the last days too clearly, but very obviously something was wrong, and nobody was telling him what it was. They merely continued to behave in this strange way. He felt as if he was being treated like a child.
"What the hell is going on?" Harry looked angrily at Severus’ emotionless face. His black eyes took in Harry from head to toe. He made a step forward, his right hand extended as if he were approaching a feral animal.
“I'm glad that you feel better, Harry. We were all worried about you.”
Harry did not let himself be lulled by the casual tone of Severus' voice. He knew that Severus had something to do with the situation. “No excuses now, Severus. What is going on and what do you have to do with it?”
Severus held himself rigidly, but his words sounded soft and enticing. “I already told you we have only one true companion. The problem is that it’s a rare occurrence for us to find her. Or him.” He took a small step forward. “So if we do find him we turn into instinct-driven animals and have only one goal: to bind our mate to us as soon as possible.”
Harry stared in disbelief at Snape, who was slowly and very predatorily moving towards him. "And how exactly do you bind them? Like a marriage with a ceremony or anything else which could be called civilised? Or are you like animals and take just what you want without any regrets or reservations or thoughts of choice?” Harry sneered.
Severus pressed his lips into a line and seemed to struggle internally before he finally gritted out, "Yes, something like a ceremony. However, it has more to do with blood and sex than with flowers and a minister.”
"And do you really think that I would want to be involved in such things? Wait, what about the time I was unconscious? Were the dreams real? Did you try to tie me up while I was sick?” Stunned, Harry stared at the man he had once loved.
Severus frowned. “I had hoped you wouldn’t remember. I couldn’t control my darker side when you were ill. Everything inside me screamed at me to protect you and to take you away to bind you to me... Luckily the others never left me alone with you.” He took, seemingly unconsciously, another step towards Harry. “From the first moment I saw you again, I knew that you were my mate. But you were so full of anger that I wanted to stay away, to force myself to stay away. But Elise and Kilian wouldn’t let me. Instead they decided to give you a potion that would make you feel my feelings and to prepare your blood and your body for a union with a Sedasé. But it made you sick, and that's what brings us to this plight today.”
“So you tried to poison me?” With an angry movement Harry threw the glass against the wall. “Oh no, wait, it was meant to make me willing to fuck and bond with you!”
Harry turned to leave. All he wanted was to get out of this house, away from these... monsters. He hated the pain he felt in his chest. Before he reached the door, he felt Severus coming after him. With an effortless flick of his wand, he sent Severus crashing into the opposite wall.
"I'm still Harry Potter, Severus. Although I may have lived for the past two decades in the Muggle world, I have lost none of my magical talents. You don’t really want to know why you should not anger me." Harry breathed heavily. He could feel the rage that had been simmering inside him since he had laid eyes upon Severus Snape days ago, rekindle his magic, tap into his magical core. All those years he had been grieving. He had been mourning Severus' death, year after year — only to find out, that he had been alive, all that time.
Twenty years, Harry wanted to say bitterly, and the swirls of wild, raw magical energy turned in circles around him, spiralling and building up to a tornado. His green eyes were blazing.
Severus reacted quickly and within seconds moved towards Harry and threw him against the wall. Harry however, would not give in so easily. Swiftly, he retaliated with a combination of a Stinging Hex and an Incendio. Harry’s power was indeed immense, but Severus had the advantage of his Dark Creature heritage and he deflected most of Harry’s angry, violent hexes and curses. The wild magic released in the confrontation heated up the room, smashed the windows and toppled over tables and chairs. When Harry realised that he could not win this fight with his magical powers alone, he began to attack Snape with his bare fists. He wanted, needed to make Snape feel at least a little bit of the pain that was clawing in his chest.
Severus, however, merely shielded himself, and then after a while, he gave up and just let Harry attack him. When Harry’s fist connected with his cheek bone, his head was thrown back against the wall.
“Fight back, you coward!” Harry snarled, incensed by Snape’s refusal to fight him.
Then suddenly he felt two strong arms holding him in a firm embrace. Before he could say anything, he felt himself being lifted up into the air, and a moment later they were... somewhere outside. He felt the tug of Snape’s magic and he briefly closed his eyes, dizzy and exhausted from fighting. When he opened them again, he was on firm ground. Furious with rage, he shoved Snape roughly away, whose arms began flailing comically.
Suddenly Severus was gone, there was a loud noise, and Harry was splashed with water. Oh. Unwittingly he had — or so it appeared — pushed Snape into the hot spring that was right beside them.
Harry looked around and realised they were in an underground cave. Snape emerged from the water, glowering. His soaked robes steamed a bit in the cold air. If Harry hadn't been so angry, he would have laughed out loud at the sight. Snape looked like a very wet black cat scowling at him.
“Snape?”
“By all means, feel free to continue your tantrum, Potter.” Snape said frostily. “But I’d rather not endanger or frighten the children in the house. That’s the reason I brought us here.”
Harry glared at him, but pocketed his wand. “You admitted to giving me drugs to weaken my resistance. So you'll have to forgive me for not being very receptive to anything you have to say.”
Sighing, Severus brushed his wet hair back.
“The potion in your glass was nothing more than a medication that would further dilute your blood so that the ritual and transformation would be easier on you,” he explained. “The reason you became so sick was the other potion we gave you two weeks ago. Sedasé mates take that potion to prepare them for their Sedasé, to make them more open to him. But your metabolism didn’t agree with it. In fact, it fought against it.” When Harry opened his mouth to say something scathing, Snape raised his hand. “This wasn't because you were poisoned or you were allergic to it. Your body reacted that way because you were already willing to unite with your true soul mate. Like you have been since you were sixteen.” He slowly approached Harry, who absentmindedly cast a warming charm. Harry couldn’t help but avert his eyes. There was so much pain in Severus’ eyes, and his voice was so pleading. “Only I was so blind and attached to my human insecurities that I could not see it.”
Harry huffed.
“There are many more things I’d like to tell you, but right now you couldn’t possibly understand them.” Severus’ voice became soft. “I want to ask you to give me your hand and bond with me and unite our spirits.“
Harry looked suspiciously at the wet face before him. “And why exactly should I agree? I have spent years mourning for you. I couldn’t bring myself to stay in the wizarding world knowing that you couldn’t share it with me. I went away from all my friends and the only family I have ever known because I couldn’t endure their happiness while I was grieving for you! Do you know how I lived these past years? Did you ever even think about how I felt?”
Slowly Severus shook his head. “I regret that you suffered, Harry. I always thought you would eventually forget me and take another lover, a man or a woman your age and... I believed with all my heart, and maybe needed to believe that what I did was the best I could do for you. As much as I wanted to see you, I forced myself to stay away from the Wizarding World and from you.”
It seemed Harry hadn’t heard him.
“After I turned to the Muggle world I had to relearn everything. It was so strange to not use any magic, which had become second nature to me. I had to hide my wand in an old cupboard so that I wouldn’t use it.” He laughed softly. “In hindsight it’s ironic that I finally did to myself what my relatives tried to do, hiding the magic in a cupboard. Only after leaving everything behind, could I finally see everything more clearly. At first I still thought I could do something like joining the police force but I soon saw that I wouldn’t be able to handle seeing that much pain and death again.”
Haunted by the past, Harry had a faraway look in his eyes. Severus spelled his clothes dry and waited for Harry to continue. When it became clear that he wouldn't, Severus cleared his throat and asked, “When you realized that, why did you choose to work with children? I would think it more likely for you to become a Healer.”
With a dry chuckle Harry shook his head. “I couldn’t stand to see more pain. I thought if I had the choice to avoid it, I’d be mad to do that to myself all over again.”
Harry took a seat upon a rock and fumbled in his robes until he pulled out a thick wallet. He took one picture out and showed it to Severus. The photo was nothing out of the ordinary. Harry was standing beside a kindergarten class. One of the class pictures shot at the end of the year. All the children were smiling. One child was clutching Harry’s arm.
“Was this one your favourite?”
Harry frowned at Severus’ question but said, “That child reminds me of myself. He was nothing but a nuisance for his parents. They didn’t beat him but they didn’t care for him either. He was craving affection and naturally latched on to me. He changed over the school year. While he wasn’t able to relate to the other kids in the beginning, he made friends after a while. He was so lonely and sad, like a neglected plant, when I met him first, but day after day he became happier and just bloomed.”
Sensing that something happened with that boy Severus just stayed silent. “His parents didn’t like his sudden change of personality and said he had become uncontrollable, attention seeking, difficult.” Harry cleared his throat. “Two weeks after this photo was taken, they took the boy out of the kindergarten and moved away.”
“You wanted to save him.” said Severus.
“If someone had been there to care for orphaned children and give them the love they needed, maybe I wouldn’t have had to face Voldemort when I was seventeen. And maybe if there had been someone who would have protected and cared for the half-bloods and Muggleborn children at Hogwarts, maybe then I wouldn’t have been orphaned. Who knows?”
Harry took the photograph again. “I think in that way I became a bit like Albus.”
Severus grimaced. “You were not the only one who was hurt by his death.”
“I know, but I think I understood and appreciated him more every day I spent with the children. I saw his way of trying to protect them. He loved all of them, no matter what.”
Severus could only nod. “He always tried to help but sometimes even his hands were tied.”
They were silent for a while.
“Tell me what happened after Nagini bit you?” Harry looked beseechingly at him.
Severus didn’t answer for a long time. When he finally spoke, his voice was unusually soft. “I died that day. And while it was terrifying, it was also peaceful. I woke up on the playground where I had first met your mother. She was there.”
A dry laugh escaped Severus, an alien sound. When Harry looked at him, he noticed the sad look in his eyes.
“We were both children again. I thought she would be angry and scold me for loving her son. Instead she hugged me. She knew... she had known all along that I thought myself in love with her. But she also knew that I was just searching for affection. Like that boy in your photo. I clung to her and begged for her love. Maybe it was destiny that our friendship crumbled that day in our Fifth year. Otherwise I might have never have had the chance to walk away from her, and then I wouldn’t have met you.
“We both sat on the swings. Soon she swung higher and higher and urged me to keep up with her. As soon as we were both flying so high that we could nearly touch the sky, she said goodbye, and I awoke in the Shrieking Shack.”
Harry frowned as he remembered. “I came back for you. Later we found your coffin empty. We thought your body had been taken by some Death-Eater hating individuals but Shacklebolt never found anything. It was hard to bury a empty coffin but I had to. To find as much peace as I could.”
“I know that you buried me as fast as you could. Kilian provided the Daily Prophet for me until you left the Wizarding world. I was saddened to see that you lost your home but you had friends, you had freedom. Or so I thought.”
Harry shook his head.
Severus looked away but continued his story. “After I woke up I fell unconscious again due to a great pain. Kilian told me they found me in that coffin, because they could sense my pain. At first they had thought me dead as well, but they could feel my blood and took me with them. After awakening here, I was confused and very irritated as I thought I was dead. To cut a long story short, my mother was a mate to a Sedasé who died in a potions accident. My mother had already taken the potion that you have consumed and lived until my sixteenth birthday but then killed herself to reunite with her mate.”
Severus was lost in thought and came out of his reverie when Harry touched his shoulder. “I see that there is more to the Sedasé than I thought. So I am really your mate?”
Severus sighed. “Yes,” he said simply. “We are destined for each other.”
Harry did not know what to say to that. It all sounded so final. “Do you promise me that there won’t be any lies between us?” He finally asked.
Severus nodded hesitantly. “I invite you to invade my mind,” he said, locking his dark gaze with Harry’s eyes. “I want you to see what I feel, what I see, what I think.”
Harry’s eyes widened.
“I want you to understand what you mean to me,” Severus whispered. “If I fail to convince you, I will have to face eternity alone. And I cannot do it.”
Harry nodded solemnly and pointed his wand with shaking fingers. ”Be ready!” he whispered, then, “Legilimens.”
Immediately he was pulled into Severus’ mind. He saw images of a past he knew too well but also newer, more recent and frightening memories. Soon the flood of images and memories stopped, and Harry felt a satisfaction and at the same time a hunger that was so great that he could hardly stand it. Confused, he looked at Severus.
Slowly Harry understood that Severus’ hunger was for him, and for him alone — his spirit, his soul, his body and heart. Underneath that hunger, Harry could feel Severus’ love that gently caressed him like velvet and silk. But the hunger overshadowed everything else and only one thing counted, that he, Harry, had to join him now, to agree to be his mate! Harry now understood so much and yet so little. He understood the hunger, the love, the fear of rejection and insecurity. Yet there were parts of Severus that were so feral, so wild, too different from his human nature for him to comprehend.
His instinct told him if he would just say yes, he would be able to understand everything, that they would become one. Harry had only moments to decide and yet, suddenly it was easy. He loved Severus, the knowledge of that feeling was large and clear, and he would do anything to feel that deep love again and again. He had never ever stopped loving Severus. And now he knew for sure, that he could never stop loving him.
He looked up and into Severus’ eyes, and nodded, almost imperceptibly but Severus understood.
In an instant Severus pulled Harry towards him and bit Harry's lips hungrily. Harry was filled to the brim with gratitude that he finally had access to Severus' full passion.
While he had been in school, they had always stolen secret kisses during detentions or in the dark corridors under the Invisibility Cloak. Severus never would have dared to live out his passion as long as Dumbledore had still been headmaster and Harry a minor. That had frustrated Harry to no end. He had often tried to press Severus for more by telling him they couldn’t know if they both would survive Voldemort.
But now Severus could and would taste everything of him. Finally Harry could be with his love the way he had always wanted to. Too impatient to wait, he began to explore the cavern of Severus’ mouth with his tongue, stroking over his gums and duelling with his tongue. Forcefully he showed him how he wanted his tongue to caress his as well, making sure he knew what he liked before he let his attention wander to other areas.
Severus caressed his face which had become more masculine and angular with the years. Admiringly he ran his hands over Harry’s chest like he wanted to memorize every line and feature. Harry sighed with pleasure and did his own exploration. He did not want to miss any movement, sound or reaction to the touches he bestowed on his beloved Severus. With relish he stroked the already hard bulge in his lover’s trousers and undressed them both with a whispered spell. Groaning, Harry was carried away by the caresses of Severus' hand. He became more and more frantic and needy, as Severus rubbed his cock rhythmically in time with his wanton hip movements.
"Not yet, Harry." Severus whispered. Harry protested with a whimper as Severus let go of his cock.
Severus whispered a soft spell that coated his fingers with a slick lotion and then began to prepare Harry with one finger. When Harry pushed back and begged for more, he obliged and fucked him with two fingers, careful to maintain a slow, steady rhythm. After a while he began scissoring them gently, every now and then caressing the sensitive rim of Harry’s hole, watching him whine and gasp. Only when he decided Harry was ready did Severus dare to push his cock into Harry and finally join with his lover for the first time.
Harry bit his lips and his face twisted in pain, then he cried out in ecstasy as Severus bit his neck and drank deeply from him. The precious nectar of life ran freely into Severus' hot mouth but did not stop the movement of his hips as he tried to find that sensitive spot inside Harry. Hot lava seemed to flow through Harry’s veins and everything seemed irrelevant and far away as the union between them became stronger and stronger. When Severus stopped drinking and closed the wound with a lick, Harry sighed softly in regret only to moan as his lover finally found his prostate. When Severus pulled back and pushed in again, Harry jerked and wrapped his legs around Severus’s waist.
Harry arched up in sheer mindless ecstasy against Severus and began to babble incoherently.
At first he was too lost in pleasure to notice that Severus was talking to him. When he felt the movements of Severus's mouth against his skin and Severus finally caught his gaze, he could do nothing else but watch. Mesmerized, he stared into the dark eyes of his lover, and slowly Severus’ words, which were repeated like a mantra, penetrated his dazed mind.
"With this blood I've taken you. You are my companion forever and throughout all eternity. In mind, body and heart you are mine as I am yours. For now and forever.”
Then Severus kissed Harry fervently. He reached down and began to stroke Harry’s cock, and Harry nearly screamed into Severus’ mouth. He clawed desperately at Severus. Finally he arched up again, pressed himself against Severus, whose breathing had become ragged, as if he couldn’t ever get enough of him, and came, shuddering, and trembling. Severus stiffened and cried out Harry’s name. Harry clenched around his cock and felt something hot and wet flooding him.
Satiated they relaxed in the shallow water. Severus gently laid Harry's head on his shoulder and opened his own jugular vein for him.
“Drink, Harry, so that you will stay with me forever." Greedily Harry swallowed the sweet liquid, which did not taste like blood at all, but more like sweetened tea. After a while Severus stopped Harry and let him cuddle up to him and rest.
"You know that there are still things to talk about, right?" Harry murmured sleepily.
"Of course I know. But now we have eternity to discuss it.”
One thought penetrated Harry's haze of happiness. "Oh! Now I can no longer care for the children!”
“Don’t worry, I am sure that quite soon you will have more responsibility for the care of children than you ever imagined," whispered Severus as he caressed Harry's stomach.