I know I'm a bit late to the party, but I just had to comment on this line:
*Every time Harry worries that Snape is only with him because he has Lily's eyes. Two if that's really the reason, three if Harry doesn't care.
In memory of one particularly memorable fic I read once, I'd like to add, six sips if Harry takes polyjuice to impersonate his dead mother (or father) for Snape.
That was a very ... memorable story. I mean, there's kink, which can be fun, and then there's "Holy sheep shearers, Batman! Pass me the brain bleach, stat!"