Back to Hogwarts: FIC: Our Past is Also Our Beginning Title: Our Past is Also Our Beginning Author:silenceberry Rating: PG Word count: 2,022 Warning(s): (highlight for spoilers) *Past main character death, a little angst, implied mpreg* Summary: Harry, along with his daughter, returned to Hogwarts. But this time the surprise was bigger than he had expected. A/N: I want to say thank you to aislinntlc for helping me beta this story and for all her hard work and to the Mods for bringing us this wonderful fest.
Our Past is Also Our Beginning
Looking up at Hogwarts, Harry gave a sigh. He was back after all these years and everything that had happened. He looked down at his daughter and squeezed her hand lightly. She looked up and smiled.
“Is this your school, Daddy?” Cassandra said in awe as she looked back at Hogwarts, her eyes trying to take everything in.
“Yes, this is it. Hogwarts. This is where your father used to teach.” He looked around too, trying to see the school how his daughter saw it.
“You mean my other daddy?”
“Yes, he taught Potions and he was the best.” He looked down at his daughter again and squeezed her hand. “Come, let’s go inside.”
Both of them looked around as they walked inside. For Harry, it was as if he was coming home after a long absence; for his daughter it probably looked like a fairy tale as she saw the many moving pictures smile and wave as she walked by. They walked toward the Great Hall and as he was about to open the door Nicholas appeared in front of them.
“Mr. Potter, welcome back!” Nicholas said joyfully. “Now, who is this lovely young lady?”
“Hello, Sir Nicholas, this is my daughter Cassandra. Say hi to Sir Nicholas, sweetheart.”
“Hello, Sir Nicholas.”
“Well hello, a daughter you say? Who is your mother?”
Cassandra laughed. “I don’t have a mother, I have two daddies. Well, only one now, but Daddy said I used to have two.”
Sir Nicholas turned and looked at him and raised a brow, “Used to have.”
Harry knew it wasn’t a question, but knew that it was being asked as one at the same time. “Yes, it was Severus, Sir Nicholas,” he said quietly.
Sir Nicholas turned and looked down at Harry's daughter, hummed and nodded his head. “Yes, I see the resemblance. Okay, on you go, the headmistress is waiting for you.”
Sheepishly, Harry smiled at him and walked forward to open the door. Everyone inside stopped and looked towards them as they walked up to the teacher’s table and stopped in front of Headmistress McGonagall and smiled. This was another thing that hadn’t changed–the tables were still in the same place, the candles were still floating above them, and the other ghosts were flying over their respective tables talking here and there with students. Well, except now as everyone was looking at him.
“Hello Mr. Potter, welcome back to Hogwarts,” McGonagall said as she stood up and walked around the table to hug him. “And may I ask who is this fine young lady?” She looked down at Cassandra and smiled.
Before he could say anything, Cassandra, or Cassie as he loved to call her, piped up. “Hello, my name is Cassandra Potter-Snape. I have two daddies but one died before I knew him.” She smiled proudly at her daddy and at McGonagall.
McGonagall’s smile froze and she looked up at him. “Mr. Potter, I think there is something you have to tell me, isn’t there?”
“Could we discuss it in private?” he said, glancing around the Great Hall. With a nod, she moved towards the side door and Harry and Cassie followed her out of the room.
They walked down the halls until they reached the gargoyle, where McGonagall said the password. Once the gargoyle moved and the stairs appeared, they walked up the stairs and entered her office. McGonagall indicated the chairs in front of the desk. She sat and looked at him and with a wave of her hand a tea set appeared. Without asking them if they wished some, she served three cups and floated two over to them. Harry plucked his daughter’s out of the air and gave it to her. When he knew she had a good grip on hers and that it wasn’t too hot, he took his and sipped it waiting for the Headmistress to start the conversation. He didn’t have to wait that long, as right away she started.
“May I know, Mr. Potter-”
“Harry, call me Harry,” he said, interrupting her.
She gave him a smile and continued.
“Harry …” and waited to see if she was going to be interrupted again; when she saw she wasn’t she continued, “I would love to know how this came about?”
He opened his mouth to answer when he was cut off.
“I know that it is not any of my business, however, as one of my most esteemed friends is the father of this child,” she held up her hand as Harry was about to interrupt her, “and that this person was your teacher at the time your daughter was conceived, I would like to know how this came about, especially knowing that you two hated each other.”
“Yes, at first we hated each other, but later on, he taught me Occlumency lessons and I got to know him better. We had our ups and downs,” he looked down at his cup not meeting her stare, “and we knew we could die. I just wanted someone to love and to love me for who I was and not the Boy Who Lived."
“And we didn’t sleep together until I was seventeen, he was adamant about that. When the war came and he died protecting me, I thought that that was it for me, that there was nothing else. However, two months later I found out I was expecting and moved away from all of this. I only told Hermione and Ron and asked them not to say anything, and they didn’t.”
“Harry, you are welcome back at Hogwarts,” McGonagall said, quietly contemplating, “But there is something you must know first.”
McGonagall turned away from him, called a house elf and whispered quietly to him. After the elf disappeared, she turned to Harry and smiled a worried smile. Harry just looked at her; she seemed as if she wanted to fidget, then looked behind him. She cleared her throat when he was about to turn to see who was behind him, drawing his attention back to her.
“Harry, what do you remember about Severus’ last minutes?”
Harry looked at her, shrugging as he answered, “After he was bitten we moved out of our hiding place to his side, but we couldn’t do anything. The last thing Severus did was pass me his memories.”
He surreptitiously brushed away the tears that had fallen while telling his story; it always hurt when he told what happened that day. He felt impotent knowing he could do nothing to save Severus that fateful night. Out of his left eye he saw a movement and turned towards the door. He saw the last person he thought he would ever see and fainted, the last thing that he heard was his daughter calling out to him as he felt himself fall.
When he woke up he opened his eyes and just stared at the ceiling, not looking at anyone. He felt a tiny hand grip his and turned to the side to look at his daughter, smiling at her to let her know that everything was all right. Harry took a deep breath and turned to the person that he knew was still waiting by the door.
Severus was standing there, or more like floating, and was just looking at him without even batting his eyes. Harry wanted to move and run to him, but he was afraid: What if what he was seeing was just an illusion that was conjured by his mind? He got up slowly and walked up to Severus, reaching his hand out to touch his cheek.
A cry caught in his throat as in the next moment his hand came in contact with nothing, and the uncomfortable feeling of icy cold air touched his skin. Harry looked up at him and saw the same sadness reflected in his own eyes. What a cruel joke life had just played on him; he had thought he finally had Severus back, only to find out that it wasn’t meant to be.
He opened his mouth to say something, but closed it again. He looked around to his daughter who was still standing by the desk, and beckoned her to come forward. Cassie walked slowly forward, not taking her eyes from Severus until she was standing next to Harry, grabbing his hand. Her little hand was trembling in his. How was he going to explain to his daughter that he didn’t know that Severus was here at Hogwarts? He gave one last look at Severus and knelt down, taking Cassie’s shoulders and turning her around so she could see him and not Severus.
“Cassie, look at me, honey,” he gently whispered.
“Daddy,” Cassie voice quivered. Harry just stared at his daughters face; he could see she was confused. This was something he himself had not predicted and he knew neither had his daughter. He cleared his throat.
“Cassie,” he looked over at Severus, who had floated near them and just stared at them with a raised brow, making him want to smile–not even in death had Severus changed.
“But, Father is…”
“Yes, Cassie, he is dead. However, now he is here with us-something I never thought would happen. Something I thought I could never give you.” He whispered .
Cassie looked at him and then turned to Severus. Letting let go of his hands she walked up to Severus.
“Hello, Father, I have missed you while I grew up.”
Severus just stood before Cassie and looked at her, the resemblance to him was uncanny and he knew without a doubt that this was his daughter; the daughter he never got to see being born. He knelt down and reached a hand out to touch her but his hand went right through her and he dropped it. He saw Cassie’s lip start to quiver, followed by tears.
“Daddy, I want to hug you, I have always wished to hug you.”
“I do, too.” However, Severus contented himself with just looking at her.
Cassie had the same shade of dark eyes as his, but if you saw deeply you could see the hint of green in them. Her hair was as midnight black as his, but as wild as Harry’s was. He smiled at this, she in his opinion had gotten the best of both of them. He could see that she was smart but with a little mischievousness behind those fathomless eyes.
Harry came near them and knelt next to his daughter and looked at him. Severus turned his eyes and gazed back. Harry hadn’t changed one bit, his hair was as wild as he remembered and he was still wearing those awful glasses that many times he had wanted to break.
“I miss you, Severus.”
If Severus could feel, he would be kissing those lips that had just said his name on an expelled breath.
“How have you been, brat?”
Harry just smiled sadly; Severus had always called him that even after they had just made love.
“I’ve been well, Severus, but now I feel my family is finally complete.”
Harry smiled and reached for his daughter’s hand and looked at him expectantly. As if knowing what he had to do, Severus reached his hand out and put it lightly over their grasped hands. They felt the coldness of the touch, but in a way it was reassuring. Severus was dead, but not everything was lost. Severus had lost the first years of their daughter’s growth, however, he would see her grow up from now on.
Harry had chosen to work at Hogwarts so his daughter would know where he went to school and where her other father had been a student and later on a teacher. He would never have thought he would give his daughter the greatest present ever - to finally meet her dad. He had finally returned to Hogwarts where he had found friendship, and in his darkest moments love, and now the family he had wished to finally have.