*G* This was wonderful. Severus was a very entertaining, snappy narrator. I enjoyed his exaggerated self-pity and suffering, his unsentimental observations of Harry’s behaviour, and his increasing involvement in helping Harry. Reading between the lines was fun too.
Some of my favourite moments:
Severus’ fitting assessment: The invalid and the insane. They'll write books about us.
Severus' pillow thoughts, as he contemplates first murder then suicide: I seem to have escaped justice for the murder of the last windbag I offed, so perhaps—
I may suffocate on stale air, but at least I will get some rest.
Toothbrush as wand: "Get down!" Potter shouts, waving his toothbrush wildly. "The Death Eaters are coming!"
Harry’s relationship rant and his grand exit line: "I give and give and give in this relationship, and all I get in return is a cold nod across the hall at dinner? I'm tired of this, Snape! Either we're together or we aren't."
"Fine. That's the way you want to play it? Enjoy watching as I walk away, then, because that's the last you'll ever see of my arse, Severus Snape!"
The whole codpiece-as-Horcrux episode, and Harry’s reaction to seeing it disintegrate: "This message will self-destruct in five seconds."
*weeps* Harry, aged six and a half: "We can't talk about things that aren't real. Uncle Vernon will be very sore with us if he finds out."
"Not real? What isn't real?"
Instead of answering me, Potter pats along my body until he finds my arm and then he pulls my hand onto his lap. With a shaking finger, he traces m-a-j-e-k onto my palm.
Severus’ reaction to visiting Weasleys, and his description of George: Twitch.
Twitch.
Fucking twitch.
The one who avoided having a wall dropped on his fool head.
Harry’s winning concept: "Maybe I could watch out for you. And you could, you know... keep an eye on me and hex me when I go batshit insane?"
Severus’ perfect cover story: Can you believe there were no mediwitches willing to see to my needs?