Username: 
Password:    
Remember Me

Search by :  Username E-mail Region Interest AOL IM ICQ Number Yahoo! ID MSN Username Jabber

slashpine (slashpine) wrote in snape_potter,

Oh, very lovely!

These together are like the epilogue to a beautiful - no, a perfect - story. How can such short pieces yield such a feeling of contentment? I dunno what it is, but you sure have it!

Okay, here's some of it:

I really like all the concrete verbs in the first one: brushed, melted, fanned, skated his pencil, sketching quickly, light slid through, wrapped his arms around, appreciated.

In the second part, I see language that is more reactive, yet equally concrete. In each statement, Severus's feelings are linked first to his observation of Harry, then Harry's actions, and then Severus's feelings. This captures Severus's essential character by emphasizing both his habit of precise observation and his penchant for silent reflection. By linking these through Harry, you create a lovely arc that shows how deeply he's affected by Harry, quietly but keenly aware of him, and even waking up centered on him.

The contrast in language between their POV's is not just fun to read, but beautifully expressive of their individuality. By putting them together, you show how perfectly they complement each other. Bravo!