InsaneJournal

Long fingers gripped his arm. Severus's thin robes did nothing to prevent fingernails from digging into his skin.

The Dark Mark burned. Smells of rotten flesh permeated his nose. His blood dripped onto the floor in steady drops.

Claws scratched the outskirts of his mind. Paper-thin crevices chiselled into his defences. One more cut; one more push.

Severus screamed.

His secrets burst through his broken mind for the Dark Lord to peruse — his passions, his loyalty, his regrets.

The handling of his person; the curse laid upon him; and the assault on his mind — all to show whom Severus had given himself to.

"You have disappointed me, Severus," said the Dark Lord. An underlying hiss overlaid his words. His lipless grin could not be contained. "For that, you must be punished."

Needle-like pricks began from Severus's legs, crawling upwards to his chest, his neck, to the tips of his ears. Soon, the pricks exploded into scorching throbs, pulsating beneath his skin and demanding to be released from their confinement. It was hot and searing, as if thousands of little knives were cutting into his skin and the cuts were then filled with thick, boiling liquid.

Others in attendance watched as Severus succumbed to the pain. They howled as his legs failed and he collapsed onto the floor, screaming and begging for it all to stop.

"Look at this poor little half-blood. Can't even handle a bit of pain."

"More, my Lord. Kill him! He doesn't deserve the pleasure of your punishments."

"I always knew he was a coward."

Tears blurred his vision. Limbs bent at awkward angles as the curse gained potency. His voice was hoarse.

"Stop, please! I'll do anything! Anything!"

The pain stopped — a brief respite from the activities so far.

A wave of a wand and Severus's body flew to the Dark Lord's feet. Severus's head knocked hard against the stone floor; his ears rang and his nose smashed.

Red eyes glanced down. The Dark Lord raised his hand to quiet the others before saying, "Anything, Severus?"

The Dark Lord then morphed into Albus Dumbledore. "Have you forgotten your promise?"

Then Lily Evans kneeled down. Her green eyes peered into his. "You failed to save us."

"You failed to save me," said Harry Potter. His fingers caressed Severus's bloodied cheeks before he gripped Severus's face. "Crucio."
***
Severus jerked awake.

His skin was clammy. A steady thrum beat behind his eyes. His mouth was parched and in need of water.

He glanced around, gaze moving from one object to the next. There were photographs on the dresser. Robes hanging from hooks. A Golden Snitch perched on the nightstand.

A Niffler teddy lay on its side by the door. Teddy must've forgotten to take it to bed.

Teddy.

That was right. Teddy stayed over the previous night. Andromeda was sick, and they didn't know if it was contagious.

Warmth encased his naked body. Arms encircled around hips; a heavy body half laid across his own. Severus's chest hairs moved back and forth with each intake of breath from the head resting on his person. The chills from his nightmare faded as more awareness came.

Severus blinked. He blinked some more.

There were no more Dark Lords. The war was long over. He had survived. Albus and Lily would've been proud of the man he became.

And Harry…

"Don't worry, you're safe," muttered Harry, tightening his hold on Severus. A familiar routine since they started seeing each other — Severus waking up from a nightmare and Harry refusing to let him go.

Severus swallowed. "How did you…"

"I may be shit at Occlumency, but you are shit at shielding from me." Harry propped his chin on Severus's chest. His eyes were heavy from being awoken early in the morning. "You're loud in your sleep."

Severus gazed upwards and away from Harry. He didn't mean to project his nightmares. They were his to suffer alone.

"Hey," said Harry. He brushed a strand of hair away from Severus's face. "It's okay."

They didn't speak. Severus worked on levelling his breathing while Harry played with his chest hair. Severus valued the silence. His mind was often loud and chaotic and messy. He had to work to keep his mind at bay while he was awake. Severus didn't want to know how much Harry had seen while he slept.

"I need a glass of water," said Severus.

Harry made a face, tugging Severus closer and entangling his legs with Severus's. His fingers trailed down from Severus's chest to his cock, stroking up and down. "No."

"Harry…"

"You are not leaving," said Harry. He had the same tone as Teddy when Teddy refused to listen to reason. They were both insistent, petty, and possessive. "I refuse to let you go."

Severus ran his fingers through Harry's hair. "What if I need to use the bathroom?"

"You almost died. You're not going anywhere," said Harry, shaking his head. He tugged on Severus's cock, trying to entice Severus to stay in bed. His cock was amenable to the idea, given its response.

"I almost died," retorted Severus. They would never move past this argument, no matter the many years that had passed since the snake's bite and fuck. Harry was talented with his fingers. "You, however, did die."

"Semantics."

Severus hummed, closing his eyes as Harry trailed his fingers over Severus's body. He was getting hot, and the blankets were in the way. "Your lexicon has grown, even if you use the words wrong."

Harry rolled onto Severus, straddling him and leaning down to kiss and bite Severus's chest.

"It's a nightmare, Harry," said Severus. He took hold of Harry's hands, pausing his movements. "I occasionally get them."

"I know," grumbled Harry. He tried to tug his hands free so he could continue his activities.

"And you occasionally have a front-row seat."

"I know," said Harry, pulling free from Severus's grip. He bit down hard in the space between Severus's nipples, leaving behind teeth marks and red skin.

"We both survived. We're here," said Severus. "No one expected us to live through the war."

"Let me have you in my arms for a bit longer, okay?" demanded Harry. He left another bite mark on Severus. This time it was on Severus's navel.

Severus didn't respond. He didn't need to. He would always do what Harry asked of him.

And…he wanted to be in Harry's embrace. Severus was weak for Harry — for his touches, his bites, his care. How Harry fucked him and how Severus fucked Harry in return. The love Harry had for his friends and his family.

Severus was a bitter man. The war didn't change that. It made his heart even colder, but Harry took the time to chisel his way into Severus's life.

There would be nightmares. There would always be nightmares. No one could escape the Dark Lord with their mind in check; but here, right now, with Severus in Harry's arms, Severus felt whole. He had never felt whole in his entire life.

And fuck. That man was talented with his tongue. Severus wanted to fuck Harry right now, or have Harry fuck him, whichever was the fastest to get them both off.

Severus licked his lips. His heart pounded, threatening to beat out of his chest for what he was about to do. It was something he hadn't done in a long while. "Harry."

"Yes, Sev?"

Severus swallowed. "…I love you."

Harry's smile lit up the entire room. Severus could see the adoration in Harry's eyes, and that…that right there. This was what he would do anything for. That was what his subconscious was trying to tell him. In the short amount of time since they started seeing each other, Harry had become his everything.

It was a scary thought. Much scarier than his time as a double spy, or bleeding out at the Battle of Hogwarts and knowing that no one would come rescue him.

Harry didn't rescue him then, but he did rescue him now.

It just took Severus a long time to see it.

"I love you, too."