Snarry-a-Thon22: FIC: It’s A Start Title: It’s A Start Author:Taxonomic Other pairings/threesome: None Rating: PG Word count: 3100 Content/Warning(s): None Prompt: No. 88: Dudley asks Harry to be godfather to his daughter but nothing could prepare Harry for the meeting between Severus and Petunia. Summary: Petunia spotted them - her eyes sliding from Harry to Severus, her mouth making the most comical 'O' Harry had ever seen, and then she shrieked.
"Severus Snape!" A/N: Thank you to torino for the prompt, and thank you to everyone who reads.
"Harry!" Dudley shot upright, his thighs knocking against the wooden tabletop and nearly upturning his empty pint glass. "I wasn't sure you'd come. Here, sit, sit." He gestured to the empty chair. "I'll get us drinks, please, sit. What do you like?"
Harry had never seen Dudley nervous. "Er, a pint - whatever you're having is great."
"Great," Dudley grinned cautiously, hurrying towards the bar.
This is odd, Harry thought, pulling out a chair and sitting down.
Dudley returned holding two pint glasses full of cold, frothy beer, and set them down with a plunk. They sloshed over a bit onto the table, but neither man seemed to notice.
"So," Harry started, feeling more than a little confused, "how have you been?"
Dudley waved his hand dismissively. "Ah, Harry, you don't have to do that, mate - here you are trying to be courteous to me and I've been nothing but a proper arsehole to you. I owe you an apology. Well, quite a bit more than an apology, probably, but there's a place to start."
"Cheers," Harry said, picking up his drink and holding it up.
"Cheers," Dudley grinned at him.
"I did have a reason to contact you, of course, but it's…" he raked his hand through his hair, "a bit of a long story."
Harry leaned back in his chair and shrugged. "If you keep the pints coming, I'll listen."
"Great. Well. Well," Dudley took a fortifying swig. "Jeez, where to begin? I guess you should know - I met a girl."
"Congratulations?"
"Ha, yeah, thanks. It's been years now, but that's where it started. Her name is Rose. We met, God, twelve years ago now, I guess. Right after sixth form, we met in a club - she snuck in, really underage, I couldn’t believe it. Anyway, she was great, really amazing, and well, you know how things go. She got pregnant, I asked her to marry me-"
"Good for you, Dudley. That's great. Really."
"I know, I know, get to the point, right? So we got married right away - couldn't believe she said yes and all that - and she has the baby. God, are babies ever hard! I had no idea. We had a daughter and she was just perfect. Named her Violet, which honestly, it's a great name, but I thought it was a bit much, you know? All these girls in my life, all named after flowers. But Rose was happy so I was happy. I guess this is where you start to come in, see, Rose, er - and I didn't know this, at first, not until after we were married, but Rose is a-" he glanced around to make sure no one was eavesdropping "-she's a witch-"
Harry choked on a mouthful of beer. "She's a what?" his eyes watered as he attempted to cough the alcohol out of his lungs. "Dudley, you're fucking with me, right?"
"Believe me, mate, I wish I were. You’re taking it better than I did. But she is, really. And we had a kid, so what was I gonna do? I couldn't even be mad at her for keeping it secret, you know, the way I reacted - no wonder she didn't want to tell me. So here I am, twenty years old, married to a witch, a newborn daughter. Mate, Harry, I- it was a lot all at once."
"Yeah, I believe it," Harry said, dabbing at the wet spot on his shirt. "Is that why you're here?"
"Yeah, I'm almost there. So Rose tells me there's a chance Violet is one too - magic, you know? And I, well, I guess I didn't think it was possible, for some reason, but then things started… happening."
"Oh, Dudley… Please tell me you didn't do anything stupid."
"No! I didn't, really, just couldn't fucking believe my eyes. She flew, Harry. Right up onto the roof! All the neighbors saw, and then some blokes showed up from your Ministry, and had to erase their memories, Harry, can you fucking believe they can do that?"
Harry laughed. "Yeah, I can."
"So they sat us down and talked to us all, Violet too, about how we had to try to keep things a secret, but that she wouldn't get in trouble of course because she couldn't control it. That they'd show up and fix it if we needed. It was really good actually, they did a good job keeping Violet from feeling like a fre-"
He cut off, staring at Harry carefully.
"A freak," Harry finished, and hid his expression behind his glass. It still stung, after all these years.
"Yeah. Harry, mate… I really am sorry. You didn't deserve - well, I'm sorry, at any rate."
"Your parents - God, Dud, do they know?"
"Yeah," he sighed. "You know how they are about magic, of course. Rose and I, we kept it secret as long as we could - we figured why say anything if Violet is a muggle? - but once we knew she was a witch too, well, we couldn't lie anymore. So we sat them down and told them and-" he winced.
"Oh no."
"Oh yes. Dad lost it. He lost it Harry, I've never seen him so angry. Absolutely lost his fucking mind at Rose. He said things I'll never forget to her, horrible things." He shuddered. "Mum just sat there. Silent. Looked like I'd told her we'd all died. It was awful. Thank God Violet was with a sitter, I can't imagine how she'd have felt. Dad stormed out and Mum cried. But, it's crazy, Harry. I thought they'd never speak to us again. I really thought ‘that's it, it’s just Rose and me and Violet now, just us three.’ But Mum - Mum surprised me."
"What happened?"
"She left Dad. Divorced him. Went to therapy, a fucking wizard therapist if you can believe that, and he really helped a lot. It took a long time, mate, we didn't see her for nearly a year before she showed back up, said she wouldn't lose her son and her grandbaby and that was that. She even thanked Rose. Bloody thanked her for, I don't know what, existing? For being part of the family, something like that. It was wild. She's like a whole new person now. Sometimes I wonder," and he leaned forward, hushed, "sometimes I wonder what that therapist did to her. Magicked her brain, he did. But I'm not complaining!" he laughed.
"And your dad?"
Dudley's laugh died. "Nothing. Never came back, never talked to us again. He left Mum alone in the house and disappeared. I- I know it shouldn't have surprised me, the way he- we- treated you. But it still hurt, you know?"
"Of course. I'm sorry."
"Nah, don't apologise. Maybe I deserve it, you know? Now I know how you felt, being rejected by your family."
"Well, I'm glad you developed empathy, even if it was twenty years later than I'd have liked."
"Fair point. It’s all history now - things are good, everyone's good. Violet got her letter, you know, like you did, for Hogwarts. That’s why I'm here, I guess, I-" and he blushed, properly.
"I was hoping you might, you know, be part of the family again. Be her godfather, you know? I mean, I think I'm an okay Dad, but you know things about that world that I don't, and she needs someone who understands - someone other than just her Mum. You don't have to say yes or no now. Just think about it. Rose-" he looked nervous, now, "-Rose says you're famous. She went to school with you, said you weren't close, but that you're like... the most famous wizard of all time."
"Not of all time, I wouldn’t think. But… yeah. Pretty famous."
"Cool. That’s cool, Harry. Weird, though. So uh," he gulped his drink. "So what about you? Married? Kids?"
"Yes, and no."
"What's her name?"
"Er, his name is Severus."
"Uh, oh? Oh!” His eyes went wide. “Oh, that's er, that's cool. Wow. I didn't know!"
"Neither did I, don't worry."
"How'd you meet him?"
Harry snorted. "You really don't want to know."
"Okay, yeah, I probably don't. Is he like you? A wizard, that is?"
"Yeah, he is. A great one."
"Well, I was wondering, do you think, maybe - because Violet needs all sorts of school things, and I mean, Rose knows all about that, but - I was thinking maybe, we could all go together. There's a place right here in London - what am I saying, you probably know it - Diagon Alley, Rose said. We could meet there, make a day of it. I mean, you're probably busy, and I know this is a lot-"
"Dud?"
"Yeah?"
"We'll be there."
*
Diagon Alley, on the final Sunday in August, was a zoo. It seemed every wizarding family in all of England must have chosen this day to come out shopping. Hordes of people milled around in the sweltering heat chattering excitedly. Harry and Severus waited in front of Florean Fortescue's ice cream shop (newly reopened by his grandson) sipping on iced teas and peering through the crowd.
Harry spotted them first.
"Oh, shit, Severus…"
Four figures had just come through the archway behind the Leaky Cauldron. Dudley was first, pink, sweaty and beaming; then Rose, looking stressed, pulling her thick black hair into a knot; Violet, tiny and thin with eyes like saucers between her parents and, as bony and horse faced as ever, Aunt fucking Petunia. Double fucking shit.
She spotted them - her eyes sliding from Harry to Severus, her mouth making the most comical 'O' Harry had ever seen, and then she shrieked.
"Severus Snape!"
It might have been funny, if this weren't the exact last time and place that Harry wished to be involved in a scene.
She rushed forward - through the crowd of people who'd now stopped, staring - and ran straight towards Severus (who, thankfully, had not immediately hexed her, but was certainly thinking about it) and - wrapped her arms around his neck?
She was hugging Severus, who looked positively bewildered, and Harry just stared, unable to comprehend it.
"Oh, Severus, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry!" she cried, and pulled away to look him in the eyes, her own full of tears. She looked positively insane.
"I was horrible, horrible to you and Lily all those years - you know, Healer Methta says I should apologise to the people I've hurt, and I was positively beastly to you both, and- and-" whatever else she meant to say was cut off by a wave of sobbing and she flung herself back around the man, who patted her awkwardly.
"There, there, er," he glared at Harry, as if this were all his fault, and Harry just shrugged, baffled.
Meanwhile, the rest of the Dursleys had reached the group. Dudley pulled his mother off of Severus, looking sheepish - ‘Jeez, mum, you're strangling him!’ - and Rose looked absolutely horrified at the outburst ‘Professor Snape, sir, how do you know Petunia-’. Violet was laughing, at least, and thankfully that was contagious - Harry full-on belly laughed when she sternly reprimanded Petunia ‘Nan, you’d better not kill him!’ and the tension dissolved.
Severus, clutching at any opportunity to remove himself from the situation, said "ice cream?" and dragged the little girl off into the shop, leaving Harry alone with Mr. and Mrs. Dudley Dursley and Petunia once-again-Evans.
"Er," said Harry. "You must be Rose? It was Zeller, right?"
"Yes! I can't believe you remember, Harry. So nice to see you," she beamed, though she seemed a bit intimidated.
"I didn't, honestly, but Severus did."
"Dudley never told me, well, you know, er, Professor Snape - I didn't know he'd be here," she was slowly turning red as she spoke.
"Ah, sorry love - but I did mention Harry was bringing his husband, didn't I?" Dudley offered.
Rose and Petunia both gaped at him.
"You're married to Severus?" Petunia asked, scandalized.
"Er," Harry grasped for words.
"Yes, dear, you did say that, but you forgot to mention his husband’s name, which in this scenario turns out to be rather important," Rose scolded.
Dudley shrugged, clearly missing the point, and, as Violet stepped out of the shop with an ice cream cone the size of her head, he clapped his hands and called out "So! Shall we look around?"
They had a brilliant day, as it were, showing Violet, Dudley and Petunia around Diagon Alley. All three of them seemed to have an endless capacity for childlike wonder, and Harry recalled his own first time coming here with Hagrid, though the memory was a bit bittersweet. Violet cooed over the owls in Eeylops’, easily persuading Dudley to buy her a rather excitable, tiny fluffy owl that reminded Harry of Pigwidgeon. Dudley, rather bravely, managed to set foot in Weasley’s Wizard Wheezes, where a shocked George clapped him on the back and showed him around, and by the time Dudley left he was bogged down with all sorts of joke products including a handful of Ton-tongue toffees (which he now thought were hilarious).
Petunia disappeared into Madam Malkin’s, and after nearly an hour came out with a perfectly tailored set of frilly pink robes that Harry, not exactly truthfully, said were lovely.
Rose was charming, of course, and spent a great deal of the day reminiscing with Severus about potions class at school, where she was apparently a star brewer and one of his best students. They dragged Violet into the apothecary to get her potions kit, and Severus pretended to be shocked when she was not entirely smitten with the selection of cauldrons, and Harry, laughing, told her she’d be much better suited to real magic like Defense, which earned him a world-record glare.
They spotted several people they knew - and every once in a while a stranger plucked up the courage to say hello to Harry as well, and by the end of the day they each had armfuls of bags, sore cheeks from laughing, and bright pink ears from the sun. Harry tried not to imagine what it might have been like to come here for the first time with family, and failed spectacularly.
They bid the four Dursleys goodbye and headed home. Harry was quiet the whole way, and as the evening wore on Severus couldn't ignore his forlorn expression.
He switched off the wireless and sat down beside Harry on the sofa, pulling the book from Harry's hands and setting it aside. "What's wrong?"
Harry bit his lip, not sure how to phrase it. He shifted, settling against Severus's chest, and felt his husband wrap his arms around him. "It’s - Aunt Petunia."
Severus hummed, stroking Harry's hair. "Okay, go on…"
"It's just, she apologised to you."
"Shouldn't she have?"
Harry could feel the tears welling in his eyes, and he trembled, as years of hurt crept back into his heart. "No, I'm glad she did, it's just - God, she was lovely, wasn't she? She was positively lovely today, but…"
He choked on the words. "Why not me? Why didn't she - am I not worth apologising to? After everything, Severus, she was awful to me and I was just a kid - why? Why didn't she want me? Why didn't they love me?" Harry buried his face in the soft fabric against Severus's chest, shaking with sobs.
"Harry, I can't begin to imagine how it felt to grow up like that, and to see the people who hurt you embracing the very thing they hated about you. Of course that would sting. You were a child and you deserved to be loved. And I-" Severus paused, thinking, "-I owe you an apology too. I let my feelings for your father blind me to who you were. I should have seen you, Harry. I should have treated you better. Everyone in your life had failed you and I was too stubborn to see that. I'm sorry."
Severus pulled him tighter, letting him cry until he calmed down, and when Harry sat up, hiccoughing, Severus looked into his eyes.
"Thanks," Harry whispered, though the aching pit in his stomach hadn't budged. "I just - seeing her with Violet, she was - she was everything I wished she would be, before I gave up wishing. I could have had today twenty years ago, if she'd wanted, but… I wasn't worth it to her. And I'm still not… Still not worth her even saying sorry"
"You are worth it. Oh, Harry, I'm so sorry."
"It's okay,'' Harry sniffled, feeling marginally better having cried.
"It's not," Severus insisted, kissing Harry softly on his cheeks. He cupped Harry's chin, pulling his face up to kiss him properly.
"I love you," he said. "I can't change the world. But I can try to love you enough that you can ignore all else."
*
Severus visited Number Four, Privet Drive, for the first time the next morning. He knocked on the door and waited for it to swing open. Petunia looked surprised, though pleasantly, and invited him in, wiping her hands on her apron. “Shall I make tea?”
“It’s not necessary, thank you.”
“Now, Severus, it’ll only take a moment,” and she disappeared into the kitchen. Sure enough, a moment later she re-appeared with tea service for two.
"I'm here to talk about Harry," Severus announced.
"Ah," Petunia said, her polite smile falling from her face. "Of course." She set down the tray and sat, her hands folded in her lap, as if she were a child about to be scolded.
Severus took one polite sip of tea before he spoke. "What on earth is wrong with you, Petunia? You treated that boy like filth for years, you and your husband. You treated him atrociously, and you don't even have the decency to apologise? I'm worth that to you, but Harry - who was a child, who was completely innocent, who wanted nothing more than to be accepted by his own family - he’s not worth it? Disgusting. I can't believe I expected better from you."
"I know," she whispered.
"Excuse me?"
"I know. You're right. You’re completely right. I- I was horrible. I abused that boy, Severus. Everything you said is completely right. But I don't know where to begin with it. How can I say sorry for 16 years of… of hating him? Hating him for no reason other than that he had dared to be born. That he'd dared to have been orphaned. I can't- I can't apologise for that. I don't know where to begin."
Severus stood up and placed his still full cup of steaming tea on the table. "You start with sorry, and go from there."
And he left her sitting there, looking wretched, and walked out.