InsaneJournal

Harry watched Severus across the crowded Ministry lunchroom. Ron and Hermione bickered beside him until Ron eventually cut Hermione off in the middle of a sentence. Harry mentally rolled his eyes -- it was no wonder they'd never worked out as a couple.

"You're really just going to stare at him?" Ron asked. Hermione nudged him, but Ron just scowled at her. "Come on, mate. This isn't doing anyone any good."

Harry looked down at his half-empty plate, frowning. "I thought you hated him still. You called him an overgrown bat just last week."

"My opinion is based mostly on your misery," Ron admitted. "I'm resigned to the fact that you apparently won't look at anyone else, but I'm tired of seeing you like this. You'll be twenty-one next summer; you're too young to be this unhappy."

Hermione nodded. "He has a point, Harry. Just ask him to the Ball, already."

"He's going with someone else," Harry mumbled.

"How do you know that?" Hermione asked sharply.

Harry raised his head and rolled his eyes. "I do talk to him, you know."

"Do you?" Hermione raised her brows at Ron, who shrugged.

"We work together. Of course, I do." Harry pushed the wilted lettuce around before glancing over at Severus again -- Severus who was getting up, tucking his reading material under his arm, and walking away.

"Who's he going with?" Hermione asked, her voice softer.

Harry shrugged. "Some bloke, an Unspeakable. Older than me, smarter than me, I'm sure, and probably much better looking too." He sighed loudly, and Ron shook his head. Before he could start in again, Hermione stopped him with a glare. Harry picked up his plate and managed a smile. "I'm off then. See you at home," he added.

"Stop harping on him," he heard Hermione say as he walked off. He sped up his steps so he wouldn't hear Ron's inevitable reply. He knew they were worried, but he'd be fine. He just needed to get over this ridiculous crush. And since Severus was already going with someone else, Harry would find his own date -- maybe.

At the Ball two weeks later, Harry watched Severus dance with the muscular, dark-haired Unspeakable. "Kevin," he muttered. "What a stupid name."

"What's that, mate?" Ron asked, spraying crumbs as he finished stuffing a red tart with green icing in his mouth.

"Nothing."

Ron followed his gaze. "Why didn't you ask Oliver again?"

"I dunno. Didn't feel right."

Ron pursed his lips. "Why don't you cut in?"

"I can't do that," Harry said, though he took a step forward.

"'Course you can," Ron said. "You need to let Snape see you in a different role -- a more romantic role. All you ever talk to him about is work stuff. Plus, you only ever ask for his advice instead of offering your own ideas. You need to be more assertive."

Harry turned and stared. "Whose advice is this?" he asked suspiciously.

"Mine." But Ron turned red and grabbed another tart from a passing tray, stuffing it into his mouth.

Harry folded his arms across his chest. "Where's your date?" Ron had been suspiciously absent the past few Saturday nights. He always put Harry off when he asked, but Harry knew he was seeing someone regularly.

"She couldn't make it. I told you that."

"Though you still haven't told me who she is." Then he deflated a bit and looked back at Severus, who danced with unusual dignity and grace. "I can't cut in," he said. "I can't dance. He'll only be annoyed that I interrupted his evening."

"Harry, you're a great guy. There's no way Snape won't appreciate you --"

"No, it's fine." Harry forced a smile. "I'm just gonna let Kingsley know I'm off." And he strode away before Ron could say another word.

Hpss - the following year

"Honestly, Potter, where did you come up with this?" Severus surveyed the mess around him, barely suppressing his annoyance. They stood at the scene of a recent black-market stash of rare wizarding items. Harry and Ron had caught a couple of the perpetrators, but Harry had jumped ahead of schedule, and the criminals' reaction of blowing up their ill-gotten gains had created a chaotic disaster. Plus, the leaders had escaped. Various Ministry workers bustled around, some cleaning up, some trying to find any remaining evidence of the crimes, and a few Obliviating the group of Muggles who'd been working nearby.

As tiny flakes drifted from the sky, Harry tried to push down his defensiveness and simply explain his reasoning. "They were going to flee. If we'd waited --"

"We might have some actual evidence instead of all this." Severus blew out a breath. "Why do you bother asking for our intel when you don't listen to it?"

"I did listen." Harry swallowed. "You said they'd run. You said they'd try and hide. After watching them, I just knew they were going to do that tonight instead of tomorrow."

"You knew, did you?" His irritation was clear. "No way to prove it now," he added, a hint of scorn in his voice.

Harry lifted his chin, hoping he hid his misery. "I'm certain that if we'd waited, we'd only have found an empty store room," he said, aiming for confidence.

Severus shook his head. "Well, what's done is done. Let's see if we can salvage anything from this wreck of a scene."

Harry watched him stalk off, his heart sinking. It was three weeks from the annual Yule Ball, and he'd been planning to ask Severus after they completed this mission. But now he'd blown it. He couldn't see Severus agreeing to spend an entire evening with him now. He turned away, his eyes stinging. He'd worked so hard this past year to do what Ron had suggested -- to let his own ideas shine forth a little bit. And it'd even seemed like it was working. Severus had requested his help on this specific bust, claiming that Harry's understanding of the situation would aid their team. He'd even seemed to value Harry's ideas, listening to him more closely than ever before. Harry's crush had deepened each day, as had his desire for Severus' respect.

But now he'd blown it, even though part of him continued to be certain he'd had no choice. Of course, he also hadn't thought the thieves would use an exploding spell to destroy their goods, either. He closed his eyes, trying to force back his unhappiness, and then he joined in to help clean up the debris.

Three weeks later, Harry couldn't pretend to hide his unhappiness as he watched Severus once again circling the dance floor with Kevin. For a moment, Harry pictured himself going over there and cutting in. He imagined Severus looking at him in surprise before those thin lips curved up in a pleased smile...except, who was he kidding? After the disaster earlier that month, it was much more likely that Severus would laugh right in his face before he rejected him as curtly as possible.

As he watched, Severus pulled Kevin closer, murmuring in his ear, and Harry's stomach clenched. Severus rarely talked about his personal life, but Harry had heard through the Ministry grapevine that they weren't a couple; Kevin was simply convenient (according to Luna, who had some super-secret consulting job with the Unspeakables). He didn't look simply convenient right then, though, with his hands gripping Severus' shoulder and waist, his eyes focused only on Severus' face, and his perfect mouth smiling at whatever Severus had whispered in his ear.

Harry turned away, setting down his unfinished drink and heading for the door. He didn't bother to say good-bye to Ron, who was chatting with a group of former Slytherins at a nearby table. He'd see him at their shared flat, after all, and he didn't want to keep him from his fun -- even though Ron's date, a witch he'd been seeing since the previous ball, was again conveniently unavailable. He didn't know why Ron kept her a secret, but he could admit to himself that it might have something to do with his own determined focus on Severus and the resulting misery when nothing came of it. I've got to get a grip, Harry thought. Even Hermione had moved on from her crush on Ron and was now seeing George, instead. He was the only one who couldn't seem to let go.

Hpss - another year later

"You're doing what?" Ron asked. "And why do I have to do it with you?"

"I'm taking dance lessons, and you know you need all the help you can get too," Harry said, lifting his chin stubbornly. "Even if you won't ever tell me anything personal about this girl -- who you must be practically engaged to by now -- she will want to dance with you at your wedding."

Ron blushed a dark red and closed his mouth. He stared at Harry a second before nodding decisively. "You're doing this so you can dance with Snape at the Ball, aren't you?"

"Maybe. At least I won't have that excuse anymore," Harry admitted.

Ron smiled. "Well, in that case, I'm in."

"And because you need to dance at your wedding," Harry muttered.

Ron's smile turned sly. "Perhaps. But that's all you're getting right now. I'll tell you what, mate. The day you cut in and dance with Severus -- or better yet, invite him to the Ball yourself -- that's the day I'll introduce you to her."

Harry sighed. "I can't ask him out. He still hasn't forgiven me for that disaster last year."

Ron frowned. "Harry, we've worked with his team five times in the past quarter alone. Of course, he's forgiven you. Besides, Kingsley himself admitted there was a good chance they were planning to flee instead of liquidating their inventory. You were right."

Harry shrugged. "Severus doesn't see it that way. And Kingsley has insisted we work together. Severus has never asked. And he brings up the lack of evidence from last year practically every time he sees me."

"I think he's just yanking your chain, mate. But whatever. We'll take these silly classes, and you can ask him to dance. All will be saved."

A month later, as they stood side by side at the Yule Ball, Ron didn't seem as sure. And Harry could scarcely believe his eyes. "Malfoy? He brought Malfoy as his date?"

As he'd been repeating this for the past ten minutes, Ron didn't respond. "I thought you asked him if he had a date and he said he was going stag this year," he mumbled.

"He did. That's why I was so sure this would be the year -- but Malfoy?"

"Listen. It doesn't matter. You did a great job in those lessons, and you can cut in."

Just then, the strains of a popular Wizarding waltz sprang up, and Harry's heart sank as Malfoy pulled Severus close to his body, his gaze intense, before the two of them waltzed around in perfect form. "Yeah, I don't think so," he mumbled. "I'll see you at home." And for the third year straight, he left within twenty minutes of arriving.

Hpss -- yet another year later

"Well done, Harry," Severus said.

Harry's heart jumped, and he couldn't hold back a smile. Not only had Severus praised him, he'd used his first name. "I just followed your lead," he managed to get out.

Severus smirked at him, holding up one of the stolen items they'd recovered during the recent raid. It was the same gang they'd been after two years previously, but this time, they'd had better intel, and Harry had spoken up earlier in the process about his ideas on why they had to be more certain of their timing. He'd been correct, and despite Severus' spoken misgivings, they'd caught them red-handed.

Now, back in the Unspeakable lab, Harry was getting to not only be involved in the processing of the evidence but also in spending hours a day with Severus. As they worked, Severus even mentioned personal matters now and then. Harry had learned that Severus had a wicked sense of humor, and better yet, he rarely directed it at Harry. He realized he actually enjoyed Severus' company rather than just having a distant crush on the man because of his heroism and bravery.

"How's Malfoy these days?" he asked suddenly, aware that his segue was lame but needing to know, all the same.

Severus gave him a surprised look. "I imagine he's fine. We don't see each other often, and Lucius tends to be solitary, at best."

"I meant Draco. Um, your date from last year."

Severus sat back on his stool, giving Harry a long look. "Draco asked me very last minute. It appears he wanted to be at the Ball to impress some Quidditch player who made an appearance later in the evening. It was not a romantic affair but more of a favor on my part."

"Oh." Harry could feel the heat in his cheeks, but he couldn't keep himself from asking more. "You're not attracted to him then?"

Severus' eyebrows rose. "Definitely not. He's practically my godson. Were you attracted to Black? Wait, don't answer that. I don't think I can bear knowing."

Harry grinned in relief at his sarcasm. "Hardy har. So are you going to the ball this year?"

Severus again pierced him with a look -- a look Harry had seen often in the past few months, actually. He couldn't decipher it at all, and it mostly made him wonder if he had something on his face or was doing something stupid with his hands. "Why do you ask?"

"Oh, um, I thought --"

"Severus, we have an emergency." Kevin came bursting into the room, and Harry scowled. Kevin scowled right back. "What is he doing here?" Then he waved his stupid muscular hand. "You need to leave, Potter. We have Unspeakable business, and it's private."

Harry didn't want to, but Severus was already nudging him toward the door. "We can continue this discussion later," he murmured, giving Harry some hope.

But later never came. The emergency kept Severus completely tied up in work, and Harry didn't see him for fifteen days -- not until the evening of the Yule Ball. "You have to ask him tonight," Ron said, his arm around Millicent. He'd finally come clean about her when she'd gotten tired of being his 'dirty secret,' as she'd put it. Ron had stuttered and fumbled and finally admitted that he was crazy about her, but he hadn't wanted to hurt Harry (who had rotten luck in love).

Fortunately for Ron, Millicent found that attractive in a partner. She'd practically been living with them for the past four months, and Ron was clearly over the moon. Harry knew Ron planned to propose after the New Year, in fact, something which alternately delighted and depressed him. Now, glancing at Millicent's knowing face and Ron's concerned one, Harry tried to steel himself.

It helped that Severus had arrived alone, but he wasn't even dancing, at the moment. Instead, he was over at Hermione's table, chatting with her and George about Merlin only knew what. Harry wasn't sure he could go over there, even though he knew Hermione was firmly on his side. But George loved to tease, and Harry had insisted Hermione not tell him about Harry's crush on Severus. Harry didn't think he could bear what George might say.

Ron bumped his shoulder. "Come on, mate. You won't get another chance like this, and you've been getting on so well lately."

Harry stared at Severus. They had been getting on well -- really well. In fact, Harry had started to think that those indecipherable looks might be attraction or at least interest. If only Kevin hadn't interrupted them and stolen him away --

"Bloody hell," Ron muttered.

Harry just gaped. As if Harry had summoned him, Kevin strode in and joined Severus, putting his arm around Severus' waist in a proprietary manner. Moments later, Kevin tugged Severus to the dance floor, and even if Harry might have imagined it was reluctant, when the music struck up, the two were dancing in sync, their bodies practically molded together while Severus said something into Kevin's ear.

"I have to go," Harry blurted, almost dropping his glass. "I'll see you later."

"Harry --"

But Harry didn't stay to hear Millicent's comment, and tears blurred his vision as he shoved his way out the main doors.

Hpss -- now five years gone

"So you knew Mr. Weasley and Miss Bulstrode were seeing each other?" Severus asked skeptically.

"Of course," Harry said. "He is my roommate, you know. And she's practically been, as well," he added.

"Hm." Severus looked around the reception tent filled mostly with celebrating redheads. "Well, it was a nice ceremony. I'm glad you invited me." He gave Harry that look again, and Harry, for once acting on his impulses when it came to Severus, smiled and leaned closer.

"Would you go with me to the Yule Ball next weekend?"

Severus smiled right back. "I'd enjoy that," he murmured, focusing on Harry's mouth in such a way that made Harry hope for more than just dancing.

Suddenly, as Harry put his hand on Severus', a scream rang out behind them, and they both jumped. "What the --?"

Ginny and Hermione stood well back from George, who had just vomited a bright blue stream of something all over the table. Then Hermione seemed to remember this was her boyfriend, and she jumped in, putting her hand on the back of his neck as he barfed again.

"Unbelievable," Severus muttered, getting up to go help. "I hope it wasn't something he ingested here," he called back.

But it was, and Harry's date for the Yule Ball with Severus was cancelled due to virulent Apia flu, a new strain that George had apparently 'discovered' while trying to use the dyes from poisonous water plants for one of his jokes. As Harry lay in bed the night of the Ball, a bucket filled with blue vomit in his lap, he moaned and even shed a tear or two for his bad luck.

Hpss -- six and done

Harry watched the swirling couples from his place at the table with Ron, Millicent, Hermione, and George. "I'm sure he would've gone with you if you'd only asked," Hermione said.

Harry sighed as Severus laughed at his date's comment. Harry didn't know the bloke -- he was someone Severus had met while on assignment to the States. Someone who had returned with Severus, and who had been by his side, practically attached, for the past four weeks they'd been back. "When exactly would I have asked him, Mione?" Harry said. He could hear the weariness in his voice.

Severus had been given the assignment only a couple of weeks after they'd both recovered from the flu the previous year. Harry had Owled him often at first, and Severus had responded just as frequently. They wrote about everything -- Severus' friendship with Harry's mum, Harry's worry that no one would ever take him seriously as anything but a kid hero, Severus' longstanding enjoyment of classical music, Harry's delight in finally living alone (something he would never tell Ron, who continually worried about leaving him when he married). It was as if the distance and format freed them from all their previous inhibitions, and Harry felt his crush deepen into emotions he never dreamed could be returned. But it seemed like they had been.

And then, in late June, Severus' assignment had been extended, and this man, Tyler Darrington, had joined Severus' team. Slowly, more and more of Severus' correspondence had been filled with tales of Tyler and his work -- their work -- with the MACUSA. Harry had let more and more time lapse between letters, until they were only writing every three or four weeks instead of the semi-weekly pattern they'd had before, and finally, Harry had simply stopped responding.

He might've asked Severus anyway when he got back, but when he heard Darrington had returned with him -- and saw them together in the Ministry every time he turned around -- he couldn't bear the inevitable rejection. It was easier to just let him go. How ironic that just as his feelings had become something substantial and long-lasting, Severus had fallen for someone else.

"Harry," George said, leaning forward. "You can't just give up like this." There was something unusual in his voice, a seriousness Harry rarely heard. He looked at him, noting the somber eyes. "You need to find out for sure -- don't just assume."

"He's right," Hermione added, her voice fond. She linked her fingers with George's. "If I had assumed, I'd still be pursuing Ron, despite his obvious interest in Slytherins."

Millicent lifted two fingers. "You wish, Granger." But then she fixed Harry with her patented stare, that look that meant business. "You need to talk to him. You're taking everything at face value here, and you have no idea what's really going on."

"What if what's really going on is exactly what it looks like? What if he's found his dream man?"

Millicent shrugged, but Ron answered. "Then you'll know. Then you can start moving on for real. But you need to step up, mate."

Harry took a breath, looking back at Severus and his partner again. They danced close, moving in perfect sync. Deep inside, Harry knew they were right. He couldn't just give up like this. He stood up and shoved his shaking hands in his pockets.

"Go get him," Hermione whispered.

Harry managed a small smile, knowing his friends had his back. He waited for the song to near the end, and then he made his way through the slowing couples. When he reached Severus, he touched his shoulder. "May I cut in?" he asked quietly.

Severus looked surprised but immediately stepped out of Darrington's arms. "You may."

Darrington opened his mouth, but Severus threw him a look, and he just shook his head and moved back.

Harry, suddenly much more nervous, hesitated. Severus raised his brows. "Did you want to dance or simply stand here?"

"Um, dance," Harry managed. Severus held out his arms, and Harry stumbled forward before gaining a bit of composure. When the music started, Severus gripped him tightly, and Harry let his feet follow the motions he'd learned three years previously.

After spending the first half of the dance in silence, Harry finally looked into Severus' face -- and saw that look. "What?"

"Why did you stop writing?" Severus asked. Although his tone was even, Harry thought he heard a hint of hurt.

"You seemed very content with your new partner, and I --"

Severus blinked. "You were jealous?" he breathed.

Harry ducked his head, embarrassed and mortified that Severus had seen through him so quickly. "Yes."

"Oh, Harry." Severus' arms tightened, pulling Harry flush against his body. "Did you really think I was the type of person who would court someone -- albeit on parchment -- and toss him away that easily?"

Harry's head jerked up, almost knocking Severus on the chin. "You were courting me?"

"You didn't recognize that?" he asked drily.

Harry shook his head. "I knew I liked it -- liked you. I loved those letters. I'd hardly send one off before I was wondering how long it would take for yours to appear," he admitted. "But then, every letter started to sound like Darrington's fan club." He glanced away, still uncertain.

Severus moved even closer, if that was possible, and Harry suddenly felt something that effectively eliminated any uncertainty of Severus's interest. "I couldn't wait to return, couldn't wait to be back with you. I didn't want to express emotions that...intimate in a letter. So I talked about other things, general things. Work things."

"Oh." Harry blinked, thinking back. "Oh." That made sense. His cheeks heated. "I guess I misunderstood."

"I guess you did. I thought you'd lost interest, thought you no longer cared." He hand clenched on Harry's briefly. "So when Tyler wanted to try working in England, for the DMLE, I invited him to come along. He's not very confident, and he tends to follow me around like a puppy -- but he's a strong wizard, when push comes to shove."

"I thought -- I thought you were a couple."

Severus actually rolled his eyes. "We're not. I've been waiting for this dance for well over two years now, Harry. I'd never risk it not happening on someone I hardly know nor care to know as more than a colleague."

Harry's heart practically bubbled with happiness. "I took lessons," he blurted. "I wanted to ask you to dance for so long."

A smile hovered around Severus' lips as he gave Harry that look again. "How long?"

"Um, maybe five or six years."

Severus looked simply delighted. "Really." He smirked. "Well, in that case, I don't suppose I'd be out of line to suggest we call it a night -- as far as dancing in public goes."

Harry gazed at him, not quite sure what he meant. "Because I'm not very good?"

Severus let out a gust of air -- slightly champagne scented. "Because I'd prefer to dance with you in the privacy of my own home. And perhaps with far less clothing."

"Oh!" Harry's face felt like it was on fire, but from the feelings below his waist, he knew he was completely on board with this plan. "Well, it's not like I've made it through more than twenty minutes of this ball in years. Why should this year be any different?" he quipped, as Severus suddenly danced the two of them towards the doors.

"Oh, I think this year will be very different," Severus growled. "And the first of many, I will assume."

Harry simply grinned and waved at his cheering friends as Severus pulled him past their table. Outside the doors, Severus pushed him against the wall, cupping the back of his head at the last second, and snogged him silly. "Mm," Harry moaned. He moved back to breathe. "I should've cut in years ago."

"Don't worry, Harry," Severus murmured, pressing their hips together and rolling, taking Harry's breath away. "I'll make this one worth your while, and you'll never need to cut in again." Then he grabbed Harry's wrist and yanked him towards the Floo. "You're the only dance partner I want."