Secret Snarry Swap: FIC: After All Title: After All Author:scubagirl2015/Scubagirl Other pairings/threesome: Brief mention Harry/OMC Rating: PG Word count: 2475 Content/Warning(s): None Prompt: Harry wants to attend Midnight Mass in Godric's Hollow and he asks Severus to go with him. Severus agrees, as long as Harry agrees to celebrate Hanukkah per his traditions. Summary: Harry confronts the man he most wants to see in a Knockturn Alley bar. A/N: This is my first story. I wanted it to be short and sweet.
After All
Harry didn't usually visit pubs like this one- dark, gritty, with tables dusted with a fine layer of dust and grime. But tonight, it was the perfect place for him to contemplate his life and drown his sorrows in a pint of ale. As he entered the dank room, he noticed a man that looked suspiciously like a vampire standing in a dark corner, and a toothless hag leering at him from a nearby table. Harry ignored them both as he approached the barstool. Even with his eyes glamoured a nondescript black and heavily altered features, he didn't want to take any chances.
Harry signaled for the waiter, grabbed a mug of cheap ale and took a hefty swig. It was already mid December, and this was the first Yule that he’d be spending alone. For the last ten years after school had ended, Harry had celebrated the holidays with the Weasleys. He loved Molly’s mince pies and cakes, the brothers' pranks (Percy had never quite forgiven George and Charlie for magicking his hair blue for a month), and the general ambiance of comfort and love. Molly and Arthur’s hearts grew bigger each year, as the party invitations increased- there always seemed to be room for another friend or neighbor. He always had a wonderful time, especially now that Ron had gotten used to Draco's presence.
Everyone but Hermione and Harry had been shocked when Ginny and Draco had started dating about five years ago. Even though Harry and Ginny's relationship had fizzled shortly after graduation, Ron had never quite given up hoping that Harry would officially become part of the Weasley family. Ginny had met Draco while playing against his team in Quidditch, and their romance was short but passionate- within one year, they were married, much to the chagrin of the Malfoy family. Ron refused to speak to Ginny for the first two months of his sister's relationship, but even he cooled off after seeing how kindly Draco treated her. Now, several years later, the married couple (and their twins, Fred and Andromeda) came to the Burrow every holiday season.
Harry sighed. Everyone seemed to have found their place in the world except him- all of the Weasley children were married, Teddy was off to Hogwarts for his first year, and Ron and Hermione were expecting their second child by summer. The entire Weasley brood would be in Singapore spending the holiday with Hermione’s parents and other in-laws. Harry would have loved to join them, but his work schedule was even more hectic than usual.
Ginny had Draco, Ron and Hermione had each other- even eleven-year-old Teddy had proudly told Harry that one of the girls in Ravenclaw would hold his hand every day after classes. Everyone had their place in the world- no; everyone he knew had someone, except him.
Suddenly, the hairs on Harry’s arms stood up and a trickle of awareness electrified him, arousing him from his silent reverie. A strange aura permeated Harry’s senses- it was familiar, and yet not. It felt like smooth black velvet brushing his skin, or soft honey dripping down his throat- comforting, but overwhelming.
No one besides Harry noticed when the tall man sat on the barstool beside him. Harry glanced at him slightly, not sensing anything besides the rather strong magical aura. Harry decided to ignore the strange man, and went back to sipping his ale.
As if to bring attention to himself, the man flicked his red hair away from his eyes, and barked, "Bourbon, neat," to the waiter. After the drink was served, the man took a sip, and then, with cool precision, shifted his body a fraction towards where Harry was sitting.
Harry didn’t know what would happen- couldn’t tell whether this man was a friend or foe.
The man’s eyes pierced his, and then, he spoke.
"What is a golden boy like you doing in a place like this." He frowned slightly, the brown eyes peering in Harry’s direction.
Though the face was unfamiliar, Harry recognized that voice in an instant- he'd heard it enough over his Hogwarts years.
Snape.
Harry had heard him yell, bark commands, rant, and whisper with sarcasm dripping from ever syllable- but he'd never heard him like this- half suspicious, half concerned. Snape’s voice was quiet, luscious, but intimidating. It unnerved him more than if Snape had shouted at him.
Harry thought quickly- how should he respond? Then, he grasped at a tendril of inspiration.
"I'm here for the ambiance and titillating conversation, over course- but what brings a Prince like yourself to these parts?" Harry was proud of himself for his coherent response.
He felt a surge of warmth course through him as Snape in his disguised state raised a single eyebrow. Harry felt Snape silently cast a strong Muffliato charm.
Snape’ s lip twitched slightly as he replied. "That, Potter, is none of your affair. I am shocked beyond belief that you managed to recognize me so quickly- it seems that you may have managed to learn something after all.”
Now, that was the Snape Harry knew- sarcastic and cruel. Harry felt emboldened- he could deal with this man now. He wasn't a kid any more- he had defeated Voldemort, and was a damn good Auror. Harry couldn't stand up to Snape at eighteen- but he certainly could at twenty-eight.
Harry turned his body fully to the other man, dropped his voice and muttered, "No one else has an aura quite like yours, Professor Snape- I’ve come across many people in my life and line of work, and your aura…is…” Harry faltered. “Different.”
Snape's eyes shifted from a glare to suspicion an instant.
"And what, pray tell, is my aura like?"
How could Harry explain? Snape’s aura was a mix of contradictions. Soft but bold. Strong, seductive.
Harry smiled tightly. "If you think for a second that I'd tell you that, Professor, then you must think I haven't learned anything after all".
Snape appraised Harry slowly, looking churlish, but at the same time, strangely pleased.
"I won't even deign to respond to that, Potter. But, indulge me for a moment- just what are you doing here? Won’t everyone be surprised to find their hero in a seedy Knockturn Alley bar?"
Harry turned away from Snape. "Look around you- the crowd here looks intimidating, but they’re really harmless. No one here cares who comes and goes- and as long as you foot your bill, the bartender won’t bother you.”
Harry took another sip and continued softly, without anger, “And frankly, I'm not here for any nefarious purpose- there are much more interesting things going on that could attract someone’s attention."
Harry glanced over to the hag, who was slipping slimy and very illegal-looking snake carcasses into an old man's bag.
Snape kept his eyes on Harry. "For once, I concur with your assessment- don’t let it go to your head, Potter." Without shifting his gaze, he continued, "So, why are you here, then?"
Harry sighed quickly. Why was Snape badgering him? He'd only seen the man once or twice over the last few years, and only from a distance. He hadn't thought of him since his acquittal- he knew that Snape had opened a potion ingredient store and took part in a potion delivery service that was doing fairly well. But why was Snape here, of all places, demanding answers? Had Snape sought him out? Had he somehow realized how Harry had slowly begun to think about him… to wonder how the mysterious man was doing, what he’d be like now, how he’d taste… but that was impossible.
Perhaps Harry had a drunk a bit too much, or had worked too hard that day at work, but he suddenly felt like giving the man the truth.
“Just sitting around enjoying a pint, professor- feeling sorry for myself that I’ll be alone this holiday season. I've spent every Yule over the last decade with friends and family- well, adopted family anyway." His eyes became glazed as he continued, “And even before that, I'd always enjoyed Christmas…”
Snape raised an eyebrow. He knew of Harry’s life with the Dursleys, and was evidently curious as to how Harry could have enjoyed Christmas there.
Harry continued, “My aunt and uncle would drag me to a church nearby for Christmas Eve mass. They hated being seen with me, so I always sat a few rows behind them. Maybe they thought it was a punishment, as they certainly never enjoyed going to church.”
Snape snorted softly.
"The Dursleys never figured out that I loved attending services every year. I imagined the church was a castle... the soft smell of candles burning and the quiet chanting soothed me. The statues of saints always smiled at me, even if no one else would."
Harry paused and added, "Maybe that's why Hogwarts felt so familiar to me- the stones, the statues and the stained glass reminded me of that church..." Harry trailed off.
Suddenly, a blush crept up Harry’s throat. What was he doing, opening himself up to a man who hated him? Why had he bared his soul? What a stupid thing to do. Harry turned back to Snape, and found Snape shifting his eyes back to Harry.
But, surprisingly, Snape did not ridicule or torment him- in fact, if he didn't know any better, Harry would have guessed that Snape was looking at him with something akin to understanding.
They both let the not-too-uncomfortable silence wash over them. Snape made a few movements as if he was tempted to speak, but managed to stop himself each time. Then, to Harry's amazement, Snape began,
“The holidays bring comfort and joy to most in the form of family- I, like you, am an exception. " He paused, and though Harry was tempted to press him, he knew that Snape would either elaborate or not.
Snape continued, "On some winter nights, when my 'loving' father became particularly pugnacious, I would creep out and rest on my neighbor’s front porch- the porch of an old widow, who was even more destitute than we were. I never knocked, but somehow, she could always sense when I was present. She always shared her soup and tea with me. One night, she lit a candelabrum and chanted a prayer. It was later I realized that she had celebrated Hanukkah, a Jewish holiday."
Harry nodded. He’d learned about this holiday in primary school.
Harry waited, but Snape said nothing. They gazed at each other for what felt like a small eternity. Then Snape finished his bourbon quickly, stood up, and suddenly, Harry heard a voice whisper in his ear.
“Your patience and calm aren’t as surprising to me as you might think, Potter. I’ve been watching you…you’ve changed.”
Harry whispered back, “We both have, Snape.”
Snape continued, putting emphasis on each syllable. “Perhaps now, after all of these years, you’re finally ready.” Harry shivered as he felt Snape’s lips brush across his ear.
And with that, Snape turned, and silently left the bar.
***
The next evening, after dinner, Harry Floo’d to Diagon Alley and walked with dogged determination to Snape’s store. He wasn’t exactly sure where he stood with Snape, but his courage hadn’t failed him yet.
Truthfully, Harry was the one person in his group of friends that had never had a ‘serious’ relationship.
Oh, he'd gone on plenty of dates over the years- men and women alike would commit an Unforgivable to date the Chosen One. But this wasn't what Harry was looking for. He'd even tried dating internationally- Aurors had access to the inter-European Floo for work and personal use- but there had only been a few relationships, and none of them long.
Jacques, who lasted six months, had just broken up with Harry the past summer, saying, "I'm not sure what or who you're looking for, but it’s not me. Go out into the world and find out." Jacques had been smart, funny, but there was something- something that Harry still couldn’t manage to identify- that had been missing.
Hermione told Harry over and over that he needed someone who understood and appreciated his past, but didn't dwell on it- someone who could challenge him. Harry smiled slightly as he remembered her shrill voice. "Come on Harry, you've been through a war, we all went through hell and back…”
Harry’s thoughts came to an abrupt stop as he reached Snape’s store. The door was closed (it was past eight o’clock, after all), but there was a dim light flickering upstairs- Harry would have bet ten Galleons that Snape was still there.
Before Harry’s hand reached the door, it swung open. Snape was there in his normal state- long black hair tied back with a soft ribbon, black robes covering his broad, thin shoulders. A flash of something- perhaps surprise- passed over Snape’s face in an instant.
“Mr. Potter…we meet again.” Snape crossed his arms and looked at Harry with a blank expression. “To what do I owe the pleasure?”
Harry stepped forward and handed a brown paper bag to Snape.
“Sir…Professor…Severus.” Harry steeled his nerves and looked straight into the man’s eyes, ignoring the way the man’s eyes flickered at the sound of his given name. “This is for you.”
Snape wordlessly unwrapped the bag and, after a few moments of unwrapping, pulled out a brass candelabrum.
“I bought it at a Jewish store in London. It’s a Hanukkiah, like you told me about- but of course you knew that.”
The taller man’s eyes softened as he gazed at the object. “Potter…Harry- that was very thoughtful of you, though I can’t imagine why…”
Harry walked into the shop and stood by rows of chopped ingredients.
“Severus, I wanted to show you that I care about you. Neither of us deserves to spend the holiday alone. Neither of us are religious...the entity that comes closest to an ‘omniscient being’ died that night on the tower.”
Harry closed his eyes and felt sadness course through him- the man would have been so happy to see the two of them reconcile after all of these years.
“But one thing that old man taught us is that traditions are important, aren’t they? Let’s light the Hanukkiah together, and in return…” Here, Harry faltered. “Perhaps you’d come to mass with me Christmas evening…perhaps near Godric’s Hollow?”
Snape looked troubled.
“Potter- we may have both changed to some extent…I’m no longer a Death Eater, but I’m still the same man you knew…”
Harry smiled, and put a hand on the man’s shoulder. “You mean the same brave, caring, loyal man?”
Snape embraced Harry. Harry stood there, enjoying the feel of Severus in his arms- warm, strong, and solid.
Snape held Harry a little tighter as he spoke.
“Perhaps, Potter, some new traditions wouldn’t be amiss this year after all.”