Secret Snarry Swap: FIC: Matching Our Colours Title: Matching Our Colours Author:alafaye Other pairings/threesome: suggested past Harry/others Rating: R Word count: 4870 appx. Content/Warning(s): (highlight for warnings) *accusations of cheating* Prompt: 23. Harry and Severus had a thing together when Harry was twenty. But Severus and Harry's insecurities (both about the age difference) ended the relationship. Now Harry is in his thirties and Severus wants the man Harry has become. Summary: They were at a different points in their lives, wanting different things, but now a case brings them together again. Do they want the same things now or will the past remain in the past--no matter what their hearts want? A/N: Thanks to my beta, marc_duork; all remaining mistakes are my own. To the prompter: I hope I conveyed what you wanted here.
Matching Our Colours
Harry blinked away, frowning. He looked first at his hand and then the one over it and followed the arm up. "S-severus?"
Severus sat forward with a small smile. "Harry. You're awake, thank goodness. Let me just get the nurse." When he returned, he took Harry's hand again. "You've been asleep for a few days."
"You're holding my hand," Harry muttered.
Severus froze. "I... I'm sorry. I didn't mean to assume, it's just..."
Harry grinned. "It's fine. Just curious is all."
Severus frowned. "Harry, what do you remember?"
"I remember..." Harry frowned, trying to remember. But so much was a blur. "I think... I was going to the break room for some coffee."
"Anything else?" Severus pressed.
Harry shook his head and a nurse peeked in. Severus turned to her, his hand dropping from Harry's. "He doesn't remember."
~~~
Ten Years Ago
"Congratulations, sir."
Severus stopped just outside the door to the courtroom. He looked over his shoulder and raised an eyebrow. "Mr. Potter." He stepped aside to let someone out. "Thank you."
Potter grinned. "I just wanted to make sure you got what you deserved."
"I deserve nothing less than an Azkaban sentence." Severus crossed his arms, letting his sleeves fall over his hands. "I said as much."
Shrugging, Potter argued, "But you did so much good that an Azkaban sentence would have dishonoured your efforts. You did a lot for me, for the students."
Severus frowned. "Yes, how did you convince so many of the students to stand up for me?"
"Neville did it," Potter admitted. "I was talking to him and he sent out a bunch of letters. They came on their own."
Severus took a deep breath. "I shall have to thank him, as well, then. Now, if that was all, Potter, I'd rather leave now and enjoy the peace I've been granted."
"Oh, right. There was one more thing I wanted to ask."
Shaking his head, Severus asked, "I shall never be done helping you, will I? Very well. What is it you need?"
Potter blushed and smiled, almost shyly. "I don't need anything from you. Want, yeah. I wondered if you wanted to have a cup of coffee with me."
Time seem to freeze for Severus. "A cup of coffee? With you? Potter, that sounds --."
"Like a date? I hope so since I meant it that way. And I'm serious. This isn't a joke. I want this, a date."
"I don't. Least of all with someone young enough to be my son."
~~~
Severus studied the barn owl and the card propped up next to it. "I will have some rather heavy packages being shipped out and back. Even with a Carry-Light charm. You're sure it'll be up to it?"
The shopkeeper nodded. "Oh, yes, sir. Perfectly capable."
"Except it says here that the owl is already ten years old," Severus pointed out and turned away. "I need one younger to be able to keep up with the shipments."
The shopkeeper's friendly face shifted into something defensive. "And why should I sell a perfectly good owl to someone like you?"
"Like me?" Severus shoved his sleeve up; the mark had only just started fading, as painful as when it had faded the first time. "A Death Eater?"
The shopkeeper swallowed hard, but didn't back down. "And a traitor and murderer. Though I suppose they're all the same, aren't they? You're just the worst. Sir, you can have this owl or perhaps the one in the corner. She's almost twelve. But a good, hardy owl? No, sir, I'm afraid you'll have to go elsewhere since I'll not sell my good stock to you."
The doorbell jingled and the shopkeeper left Severus with a bright smile. "Mr. Potter, a pleasure. How can I help you?"
Severus took a deep breath. Wondered if he should sneak out like a thief and risk Potter seeing him or if he should wait and just buy the owl. After all, where else would he find one? He knew of no other breeders in the area. There might be one further north, near Hogwarts.
"Some treats is all," Potter answered, "but I think I'll take a look around." Too late. Severus knew what that meant.
"Certainly, sir. Just let me know if need anything."
The owl got tired of looking at Severus and put its head under its wing. Potter stepped close, for privacy most likely. "I'm sorry. If you thought that I was playing a joke on you. I wasn't."
"You said as much." Severus half turned. "But why else would you want to date me, Potter? I was your hated teacher. I murdered your mentor. I aided the man who killed your parents. And you want to date me?"
Potter tilted his head and looked Severus up and down. Severus took a step back because a look of interest? That interest? No, he'd never received it. Never. He was experienced, in a sense, because there were always willing people, but attraction in the bold light of day? From someone who knew him, knew his crimes? Youthful idiocy, Severus deduced.
"My father belittled you," Potter began, quietly. "A man I thought was good almost got you killed. My friends and I, most of my classmates, treated you abysmally throughout school. I tried to curse you several times."
"Your point?" Severus hissed.
"My point is that our past shouldn't dictate our future if we've treated the other horribly. You did what you did because you had to. I don't have an excuse except that I didn't know better."
Severus snorted. "Then we shall let bygones be bygones and part ways here. Good day, Mr. Potter."
"Severus, wait!"
But Severus swept out of the shop and left Diagon Alley for Edinburgh Tunnel. Surely they had an owl emporium.
~~~
Dear Severus,
I realise I seem impertinent, but you didn't let me finish the other day. If we both agree that we aren't the men we used to be, then there is nothing really holding us back from just having coffee together.
Is there?
Harry
Potter,
I did not give you leave to use my name. And though I refuse to debate whether your logic is sound, there does remain one reason for two people to not have a coffee together.
One of them does not want the company of the other. And why should I? You use my name without permission showing a lack of respect and as I said before, you are young enough to be my son. Furthermore, there is no attraction on my end.
S. Snape
Severus S. Snape Severus,
People of different ages have dated before and been in relationships throughout history. I'm using your name because I want to see you as the man I want to date and not as my former teacher. Attraction can grow in time.
Will you please have a cup of coffee with me?
Harry
Potter,
The question must be asked: why would you want to date me?
S. Snape
Severus,
I think you're handsome. I know you're clever and smart. I want to get to know you and see if we might be able to have a relationship.
Harry
Potter,
Pretending to be a grown up? Nothing has changed then.
S. Snape
Severus,
Pretending? Have a cup of coffee with me and let me prove that I'm an adult.
Harry
Potter,
Needing to prove that one is an adult is a sign of childishness.
S. Snape
Severus,
I've been looking back through our letters; it looks an awful lot like we're a couple of children bickering.
Harry
Potter,
What will it take for you to leave me alone?
S. Snape
Severus,
Coffee. Tomorrow around two good?
Harry
~~~
Three months later
Severus put aside the magazine he'd been reading when he heard the knock. At this hour, it was likely only someone selling something -- maybe a school fundraiser -- but he was sure that whoever it was wouldn't go away until he answered. It was, after all, his recent luck.
Harry smiled at him when the door opened. Severus allowed himself a small answering smile. "And to what do I owe this honour?"
"Honour?" Harry laughed. "It's my birthday and I want to spend it with you."
Severus pretended to be nonchalant. "I see. Should I assume you know exactly how you want to spend the day?"
From the wicked gleam in Harry's eye, Severus knew he was in trouble.
~~~
"Again?" Harry asked as he nipped and kissed Severus' chest. "Please?"
Severus sighed and ran his hand down Harry's back. "It's almost five. Don't you need to get ready?"
"Just one more time," Harry pleaded.
"Hmm. I thought for sure you would want to leave early to have more time with your friends?"
Harry frowned and sat up. Severus took a moment to appreciate the view. Whatever it was that Harry did as an Unspeakable kept him fit. There was a certain amount of pleasure to be had that Severus, who bore the marks of two wars and hard living, had someone like Harry who was young and fit and eager. Very eager. Harry was asking for a fourth round, after all.
"I'm right where I want to be, you know," Harry said. "I'm going to see my friends later on; we've booked a room at the Leaky for as late as they'll let us stay since it's also Neville's birthday party. I just want to spend more time here before I go."
Severus took a deep breath, but let it go. Harry would realise soon enough.
~~~
"Come on, we never go out," argued Harry. "We're always staying in."
Severus raised an eyebrow. "We went out last week."
"To a Muggle restaurant! And the week before was the same." Harry sighed. "It feels like you don't want to be seen with me."
Severus shook his head. "You do remember the last time we were seen together by the Wizarding public, don't you?" When Harry looked blank, Severus explained. "It was Eeylops. The shopkeeper refused to sell me an owl I needed because I didn't deserve one. Because of what I have done and to whom I foolishly pledged my loyalty to in my youth. Now imagine if you would if such people saw you and I out on a date. What do you think would happen?"
Harry was quiet for a moment, but only a moment. Severus waited because he knew what the answer would be. "I don't care," said Harry. "I don't. And neither should you."
"A wound will never heal if you continue to expose it to that which caused the wound in the first place."
"They can --."
"Not them. Myself."
Harry froze. "I didn't ... I only ..." He shook his head. "Does cynicism come with age or is it just unique to you?"
Severus blinked. "I'm sorry, what does cynicism have to do with this conversation?"
"Well, you're assuming everyone feels like that shopkeeper and will attack you in some way. I didn't," Harry shrugged. "Plenty of people testified at your trial who would agree with me."
"Optimism is for the young and those who haven't lived."
Harry snorted. "So the Muggle world, then?"
Severus spread his arms out, having nothing more to add. After all, it would take only one person to hiss something and their date would be ruined. And there would always, always, be one person who would. The sooner Harry learned, the better.
~~~
"Happy birthday," whispered Harry. The clock downstairs had just struck midnight, but they had both been awake because Severus had had a nightmare. He was still covered in cold sweat and Harry was still shaken by Severus' yells.
Birthday. Severus would be ... too old now. He hadn't thought he'd live after the second war, but now here he was with another birthday and a lover to boot. He'd not served time in Azkaban and, just yesterday, he saw his Dark Mark as grey as it ever had been before Voldemort had returned.
He held Harry close. "Yes. A happy birthday indeed."
He felt Harry smile into his neck.
~~~
Severus chuckled. "He was flirting with you."
"And his partner was flirting with you," giggled Harry. He wrapped his arms around Severus' waist and rested his chin on Severus' shoulder. "They flirted with us."
"Swingers, no doubt." Severus switched on the kettle and did a little dance with Harry to the counter opposite the stove. Harry grinned and hopped up on the counter. Severus pushed between his legs and took a kiss.
Harry sighed into his mouth, hands cupping Severus' face, and his leg inched around Severus'. "Swingers?"
"Couples who have sex with other partners for the night," Severus explained. He pushed Harry's shirt up, a bit, to caress his warm skin. "So tonight, Gerald wanted to have sex with me while his partner, Michael, wanted to have sex with you."
Harry wrinkled his nose. "Seriously?"
"I believe the Bed and Breakfast down the road caters to such couples. I saw an advertisement for it several times. They host parties."
Harry raised his eyebrows. "Seen advertisements?"
"Don't ask," Severus warned, but he was smiling.
Harry bit his lip. "Would you like to do something like that? Michael gave me his mobile number if we changed our minds."
Severus studied him, noted Harry's interest. The kettle whistled and Severus used the distraction to give himself space. When the tea was finally steeping, he turned. "Are you interested?"
"Might be," Harry said, keeping his eyes low. "I just ... you know I'm invested in us, yeah? I wouldn't stray. Just ... sometimes I wonder what's it like with someone else. You've been with other people."
Severus was Harry's first. That was a matter of pride for Severus, not that he'd tell. He remembered, though, being young. Remembered wanting. For someone like Harry, if he went to the right places, he'd have no shortage of offers. A few might even be older than Severus.
Time for a diversion. Severus had learned quite a few skills, after all, despite his few partners. He smirked. "Let me show you something new."
Harry's delighted laughter now and pleased groan later was enough diversion for the moment.
~~~
"I realise now that asking for honesty was an oversight," seethed Severus, pacing and unable to stop. Only Potter men were able to inspire him to lose control of himself.
Harry was a still figure, frigid and face tight with some combination of anger and embarrassment. "I've already said I'm sorry. You made sure Michael was never going to even contact me again. But it was just a kiss!"
"You knew he wasn't the sort to be faithful to his partner!" Severus yelled. "His hand was only inches from your cock and you were hard! You wanted to take what he was offering!"
"I wouldn't have! I would never do that to you!"
"You wouldn't mean to and you can tell me until you're blue in the face that you wouldn't, but you would. All of us would if given a moment!"
"So you would? If it had been Gerald?"
"Is that what you want to hear? So you could justify fucking Michael?"
Harry shook his head and slammed out of the house.
~~~
One month later
Potter,
You will find enclosed the articles you left behind.
S. Snape
Severus
S. Snape
Thank you. Enclosed are yours.
H. Potter
~~~
Nine Years Later
Severus frowned when the owl dropped off the letter. He didn't receive any letters unless it was from St. Mungo's asking for a difficult potion or for him to brew a few extra potions to meet demand. As he had just last month sent them an order for the season, he saw no reason that he'd receive post.
He flipped it over and froze. Interesting.
S. Snape
I'm writing about a professional matter. The Aurors came across an unusual item and our scans indicate it belonged to Voldemort. The official Ministry policy is not to work with criminals, which leaves only a handful of people who could help us. You are the only one whose location we know.
Will you help?
H. Potter
Official policy? Severus didn't doubt that if he refused, Harry, being an Unspeakable, would find someone who could help in Azkaban. Of those left alive, well, the less said of them the better. He grabbed a bit of parchment and his quill.
~~~
"Severus!" Harry called, waving his hand where he stood by the fountain. Severus walked over and felt his body stir. Harry had grown up, and well. Photographs in the paper did not do him justice. A brief moment was lost when Severus imagined what Harry would look like now under him.
"Harry," greeted Severus. "It's good to see you."
Mirroring his actions of years ago, Harry looked Severus up and down. "You, too. You haven't changed a bit."
Severus raised an amused eyebrow. "Nor have you."
Chuckling, Harry motioned for Severus to follow him. "I'm sorry. I told myself to be professional, but you're still a handsome man."
"You remain, I think, the only man who would say so," argued Severus.
"More for me to admire, then," Harry pointed out. They joined a few others in an elevator and moments later exited onto a floor suspiciously quiet. Harry shrugged at Severus' look. "Few people use this floor. It's mostly extra meeting rooms and places to experiment. Ever since my friends and I broke in, the Ministry won't allow anyone from outside the Department of Mysteries in. Security and all that. So when we need outside consultation, we use the rooms here."
Severus nodded. Harry led him to a heavily warded room in the back. An Auror stood guard outside. Harry and he both handed over their badges and Severus signed a piece of parchment to not discuss what was in the room with anyone unless he had permission from the leading Unspeakable, Harry Potter.
"Tidy," Severus remarked.
"Security changes," Harry reminded him with a cheeky smirk.
Severus told his body to behave. Harry opened the door with a silent spell and Severus entered the room. He stiffened as he crossed the containment wards and willed himself to not grab his forearm. "Where did you find it?"
Harry let out a breath. "The Aurors found it at an estate sale. The woman who owned it had received it as a gift from her nephew. The only reason the Aurors were at the sale was because her death was suspicious."
"Lucky for us all," Severus muttered. He stepped closer to the table in the middle of the room. As he had thought, it was one half of a stone tablet. It was inscribed with runes and gave off a faint glow. "Albus and I both thought that these had been destroyed when he tried to kill you."
"These?" asked Harry. He was keeping well back. Severus wished he had.
"There were two. Voldemort was experimenting with infusing his magic into objects should he be resurrected with none."
Harry swore. "We'll start a scan."
"This one will lead you to the other," Severus told him. "I would recommend that the team who collects it be ready for it to lash out. I suspect that is what happened to the woman who had this one. Same for her nephew."
Harry snorted. "He disappeared. He was never on any of the lists as a Death Eater or a sympathiser. You wouldn't know who would have access to the tablets, would you?"
Severus stepped back, thinking. "I have something at home, from Albus' items. I'll need to check it."
"I'll have to come with you," Harry told him. "As it's part of the investigation."
~~~
"I think I read an article last month that said if you change how a room is rearranged, it'll help your mood," mused Harry.
Severus raised an eyebrow. "Was that a pointed comment about my disposition?"
"It might cheer up the room," Harry quipped.
Severus remembered a time when Harry had, too. He could remember it clearly. Shaking his head, he pulled down a box from the bookshelf furthest from the door and hearth. "These are some of Dumbledore's letters. Aberforth saw Voldemort's title on one and wanted nothing to do with it. He sent it to me, figuring that I would know what to do with it."
Harry frowned. "Aberforth knew you were a double agent?"
"Of course. I would sometimes use the passage there to get in and out of Hogwarts without being detected." A quick look through and Severus held up a single letter. "Here we are. As I thought, though it doesn't mention the tablets by name, it alludes to it. It's from a young man who had been approached by a dark wizard. The young man specialised in archaeology, specifically items that some believed held the magic of thieves."
Harry hummed. "There's something in the department about that. I think it was the Egyptians who had separate containers for organs of the dead. I think we have a few that were mentioned to contain the magic of the dead wizard or witch."
"The family who had the tablet wouldn't happen to be Williams, would it?" Severus asked.
Harry's sigh confirmed it.
~~~
Severus couldn't stop smiling. This past month with Harry had been amazing. He'd forgotten that Harry shared his sense of humour and was as curious as Severus was. They fell quickly back into their old patterns and Severus found himself wistful for their relationship. It had been good between them. He was hopeful that maybe time had given them a better chance.
They were sharing a cup of coffee in a small kitchenette on the floor Harry had first taken him to, waiting for a report on a lead that the Aurors were tracing. Harry was sharing a story and Severus listening attentively. There had been more of these this last month, more than actual work.
"And that's when the guy jumped out of the cake!" Harry said, laughing. "And we're all sitting there, confused. And the stripper, he asks where the birthday boy is. Apparently, Seamus hadn't checked with the agency to see what kind of strippers they would send! So there Ron was, bright red, but instead of freaking out, he keeps saying that Hermione was going to want a memory of it!"
Severus chuckled. "Who knew that that would be the first thing he would say?"
Harry nodded. "I know!" He held out his hand. "More coffee?"
Severus took a deep breath and handed over his cup. "I wondered if we could share a cup later, when the case is done. As a date?"
Slowly, a pleased smile broke across Harry's face. "I'd like that. Yes. Later."
Severus grinned.
The door flew open. "Potter! We got a definite location!"
~~~
Mrs. Weasley,
I've enclosed a particular memory for Harry to view. I was led to believe you would have a Pensieve that would let him see it. I would appreciate it if, at least, you would let Harry know that I've sent this and that it concerns what happened in the breakroom shortly before he was injured.
S. Snape
~~~ Present Day
Severus' heart was beating fast when he opened the door. "Harry."
Harry looked up, hopeful. "I viewed your memory. I'm sorry that I couldn't remember."
Severus pulled him in and locked the door. "No apology needed. I sent the memory for my own happiness."
"Happiness? You?" Harry smirked. "Prove it."
Severus kissed him. Harry hummed into his mouth and reached for the buckles on Severus' robe. Severus smirked and gently pushed Harry backward, to the sofa. Harry huffed. "You always were happiest when you got your way."
"It does help that you're very willing," Severus pointed out.
Harry sat on the sofa and opened his legs. "For you? Always."
The sight of Harry like that was everything Severus had been missing. He hadn't realised it until he'd seen Harry again last month. "Always, Harry?" Severus knelt down and put his hands on Harry's hips. "If I had asked you even a year after, would you have come?"
"Yes," said Harry. "I was so stupid. So very stupid."
Severus shook his head. "No. Not stupid. Young -- and I was too old then for you."
"What does that make you now? Ancient?"
Severus pinched Harry's thigh. Harry playfully winced. Severus kissed him again. "It doesn't matter now. Because it isn't that the past should stay in the past. It's that we learned from it to become better men."
Harry raised his eyebrows. "Even you?"
"Even me," agreed Severus. "Even me."
"Do we have to wait then until we have coffee to have sex?"
Severus chuckled and pulled Harry in for another kiss. Harry, though, didn't keep it soft, like a promise. He pushed and slipped off the sofa, legs on either side of Severus' hips. He moaned when their cocks brushed against each other; Severus wrapped an arm around Harry's waist and turned them, still kissing Harry. He wanted Harry and now, right here on the hearth rug; that Harry, unclasping Severus' robe, was as eager, was enough for Severus to be sure that he'd done the right thing, asking for Harry to return to him.
Impatiently, he broke the kiss to shrug off his robe and toss it elsewhere. Harry succeeded in only unbuttoning his coat and shirt, distracted by helping Severus undress. Not that either of them needed to be unclothed, Severus thought, as he pulled Harry's boots off and pulled his trousers and pants down to his ankles, leaving them hanging off of one.
"Do you still keep the lube --?" Harry gasped, tilting his head back so Severus could bite his neck.
Fuck. Of course. No matter. Severus smirked and grabbed his wand. A quick spell and then he reached under Harry, who groaned at the first touch. That was a sound that Severus hadn't forgotten, but it was almost like music coming from Harry now. At two fingers, Harry shoved at his shoulder. "Now, now!"
"Patience, Harry," taunted Severus. He opened his trousers and pulled his cock out between his underwear. "Or I'll teach you some."
Harry grinned, looking a little crazed. "Teach me some? Think I might enjoy that lesson."
Severus cast the spell again and held his cock against Harry's hole. "Enjoy it? Perhaps in the end, but first, I'd have you cursing me. Do you know why?"
Panting, trying to pull Severus into himself, Harry was a picture of impatience that Severus would savour for a very long time. "Why?"
Slowly, so very slowly, Severus pushed in. Harry's pleased moan seemed to echo around the room. Grinning, Severus leaned down to whisper in Harry's ear. "Because I wouldn't let you come until you learned some patience. It might even take all day and all night."
"Fuck," Harry swore. He curled his hands around Severus' jaw and pulled him for a wet, bruising kiss. "We'll make a plan for that. You're right, I'd curse you for it, but god, what a way to go."
Severus grinned and lifted himself onto his elbows. "And you'd enjoy it. Every second, you'd enjoy it."
"At your mercy? Of course I would." Harry arched his back, pushing against Severus. "For now, though, do you think you could just fuck me? I've been waiting a decade, Severus! Fuck. Me."
"Well, how could I refuse that?" Severus shifted so he could bend Harry in half, the better to give him the fuck he wanted, and kept his eyes on Harry's face, memorising every inch.
Because finally, they were back where they belonged.
~~~
Harry hummed and kissed Severus' chest. "Midnight, is it?"
"Yes, I suppose it is," whispered Severus. He kissed the top of Harry's head. "At least neither of us woke up this time from a nightmare."
Harry laughed. "No, we just haven't been to sleep yet." He shifted and propped his chin on Severus' chest. "But if it's midnight, it's Christmas."
Severus took a deep breath. "I suppose it is. Happy Christmas, Harry."
"Happy Christmas, Severus. I couldn't help but notice that you didn't have a tree up."
"Of course not. I'm sure you remember that I don't celebrate the holiday if I'm alone."
Harry licked his lips. "About that. Do you want to come with me to the Burrow? I promised Molly I'd be there."
Severus snorted. "Are you sure I'd be welcome? I recall that she sent me a horrific Howler when we broke up."
"She convinced Hermione to let me see the memory," admitted Harry.
Oh. That was interesting. "So she probably wouldn't mind. Christmas at the Burrow."
"With me," Harry pointed out.
Severus slowly grinned. "And next year, maybe it could just be the two of us. A private Christmas celebration. We can even decorate in red and gold."
Harry kissed him. "I was thinking maybe gold and silver are better suited to each other. What do you think?"
"Sounds perfect."
When Harry settled down, his hand caught the moonlight. His gold skin against Severus' pale. Yes, gold and silver did seem suited to each other. Severus finally began plotting his future with Harry.